heartbroke1008

my husband left me 3 weeks ago. Now he is living with a girl and planning on getting married. All the mean things he said when he came out of rehab and then decided to leave a just haunting my thoughts. I am giving a divorce but he is having the other girl hang out with my children. She has two kids and the kids think their dad will love those children more than he loves them. Now for once (good thing) he has been calling them and telling them he loves them. I have my strong moments and my week moments. I feel like I am losing my mind. I know I should be glad he is gone. Sometimes I think it is the biggest blessing. Other times I feel so bad about myself since he left me for her. How long do these feelings last. I don't want to rush my griefing period I just want to know I will get past it one day and be happy.

Petunia

Heartbroke1008,

You are in my thoughts and my prayers. If I may offer this item to ponder today -

1. There is one person that you can rely on to treat you well everyday - yourself. Just for today, try and live through this day only - you don't need to tackle all your problems at once.

There is pain when we have worked so hard to please others and they choose something/someone else. People-pleasing becomes self-destuctive when it results in us ignoring our own needs and continually sacrificing for the sake of others.

Just for today - do something for yourself. Buy a magazine - spend an hour in the tub. And if a thought of someone else comes into your mind take a deep breath and blow it away. Kind of like when you need to ignore someone who has been rude to you. That is what those thoughts are - RUDE INTRUDERS - whom you haven't invited in. If you ignore them, they will go away.

I hope this works for you and brings you a little peace today. I will pray for you and your family today.

2many2count

Heartbroke,
I'm sending you big HUGS! I know what this feels like and yes, you will heal in time. I agree with Petunia. Take some time for yourself and take it all one day at a time. You and your children are in my thoughts and prayers.

Take care and vent as often as you need to. We're all here for you if you need to talk.

Love,
Holly

EmotionalMeg

Hi Heartbroke,
You are going thru a very rough space of time right now, and like it was said already, give yourself time to heal. Trying to search out solutions and predict the future will only make you crazy - take it one day at a time.

If you can imagine that you are exactly where you need to be; that there is a plan being worked out for you, and lessons that are being learned, it makes the road a lot easier. Close your eyes, and breathe deep - You WILL be OK.

And keep coming here to share - we don't mind being dumped on :p
Meg

MissyBelle

I think it would be more than reasonable to insist your children not be exposed to a girlfriend such a short time after a split. In fact, I think the court system would demand it.

myles1

Hi Heartbroke,

Keep in mind that your husband is insane right now, it's very obvious. All of this has NO REFLECTION on you, it's his illness talking.

Ngaire