Tigger
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Tigger
For some reason, probably because work manages to block various things, I can’t post on SR. Would you mind posting this for me please, in a new thread?
Tigger’s at work today – Yay
Hi Everybody! I'm at work today! It feels so good to get out of the shelter. The women there are in a different league than I even knew existed. Bless their hearts, they've had a rough go of life.
The legal process is slow and tedious. The order of protection form hasn't been completed yet. Shelter legal aid suggests that, even though I can go to the county court and get an order of protection (or ex parte), that it's better if I do it the way they suggest. They know what happens with two lawyers go head to head. The right information has to be documented. Thank you all for your support through this time for me! Love you all!
Tig
sorry Tigger, I had trouble posting..so thought I would try a one word title.
Tigger’s at work today – Yay
Hi Everybody! I'm at work today! It feels so good to get out of the shelter. The women there are in a different league than I even knew existed. Bless their hearts, they've had a rough go of life.
The legal process is slow and tedious. The order of protection form hasn't been completed yet. Shelter legal aid suggests that, even though I can go to the county court and get an order of protection (or ex parte), that it's better if I do it the way they suggest. They know what happens with two lawyers go head to head. The right information has to be documented. Thank you all for your support through this time for me! Love you all!
Tig
sorry Tigger, I had trouble posting..so thought I would try a one word title.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Missouri
Posts: 673
Trying a quick post to see if it works.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I can't tell you how much your prayers and encouragement mean to me. You're getting me through this!
Hoping/praying that we can get the order of protection done, and the dude out of my house soon!
Love Hugs Thanks! Tigger
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I can't tell you how much your prayers and encouragement mean to me. You're getting me through this!
Hoping/praying that we can get the order of protection done, and the dude out of my house soon!
Love Hugs Thanks! Tigger
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Missouri
Posts: 673
A girl friend of mine has a vacation apartment a couple of hours away that she's asked me to spend the weekend with her. I'm thrilled by the invitation... not to have to stay in shelter over the weekend. AH doesn't know her, never heard of her, it seems safe. But there are so many things to consider. Are my belongings safe at the shelter? Will the ladies there be jealous that I have a place to go for the weekend? Do I care?
I left Huck (my doggie) there today instead of bringing him with me and leaving him in the car. I hope he's okay! I worry so much about my little buddy.
AH hasn't contacted me since Tuesday evening when he emailed me with a bunch of stuff that really didn't matter, and pushed a button that finally ticked me off. I didn't respond. He accused me of cheating on him. Like I'd have time... or the inclination. HA! NOT! So we've been no contact since then. I LIKE it! Is it hard? Only when he ticked me off, and when I'm tempted to call and tell him to get out of my house. But I don't. My Angel, my Mom and my Sister are my conscience and who I call when I'm tempted. Funny, a week ago I didn't know what "no contact" meant. You probably think; "dah", but I didn't know if it was a legal thing, or what. I sure as heck do now!
I got a lawyer today. I had talked to two the 2 days ago, and as soon as I told them I was in a shelter, they got an attitude, as though only idiots stay in shelters. Then I found a woman, with my sister's help. She sounds great, quick and competent. She wants us to file the Order of Protection and the Divorce at the same time. She said they'll work together for greater impact. Yay!
I left Huck (my doggie) there today instead of bringing him with me and leaving him in the car. I hope he's okay! I worry so much about my little buddy.
AH hasn't contacted me since Tuesday evening when he emailed me with a bunch of stuff that really didn't matter, and pushed a button that finally ticked me off. I didn't respond. He accused me of cheating on him. Like I'd have time... or the inclination. HA! NOT! So we've been no contact since then. I LIKE it! Is it hard? Only when he ticked me off, and when I'm tempted to call and tell him to get out of my house. But I don't. My Angel, my Mom and my Sister are my conscience and who I call when I'm tempted. Funny, a week ago I didn't know what "no contact" meant. You probably think; "dah", but I didn't know if it was a legal thing, or what. I sure as heck do now!
I got a lawyer today. I had talked to two the 2 days ago, and as soon as I told them I was in a shelter, they got an attitude, as though only idiots stay in shelters. Then I found a woman, with my sister's help. She sounds great, quick and competent. She wants us to file the Order of Protection and the Divorce at the same time. She said they'll work together for greater impact. Yay!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Missouri
Posts: 673
It's BECAUSE I'm staying in a shelter. Lawyer assumes, because of experience, that I'm looking for pro bono work, that I'm a gangsta, or drug dealer, or hooker, or or or... Can't blame them. They've probably never have had a call from an educated business woman who is staying in a shelter. Guess I was "profiled". I'm just glad I found a good one.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: east siiiide
Posts: 254
aw geez, what a shame. Sorry to hear that. I called a few lawyers looking for assistence and kept getting passed off to another 'associate'. I'm wondering if it's once they hear what kind of financial situation we are in.. they think they won't get paid either. Glad you found a good one though!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 534
Tigger, I remember when my aunt had to stay in a shelter. Her stock broker husband punched her so hard in the face that her teeth were moved back and her jaw was broken. She had to wear braces and have her jaw wired shut. It was really hard for her to be there because of the same prejudices you describe from the lawyers. But she couldn't have stayed with us because he'd find her there. My parents also feared for our safety.
I'm glad you are staying so positive. :ghug3
I'm glad you are staying so positive. :ghug3
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
hi tigger-
i'm not sure your stuff will be safe at the shelter....can you store it somewhere else?
you sound good. i hope you follow all the way through. this is just a very temporary situation, it will get better.
really, what kind of man would stay in your house and leave you in a shelter? think about that when you find yourself wavering.
naive
i'm not sure your stuff will be safe at the shelter....can you store it somewhere else?
you sound good. i hope you follow all the way through. this is just a very temporary situation, it will get better.
really, what kind of man would stay in your house and leave you in a shelter? think about that when you find yourself wavering.
naive
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Missouri
Posts: 673
This isn't exactly poetry... just a bit of expression.
Living in Fear
I leave the house and walk to the car, it’s dark. Is he waiting for me out there?
I drive to work, eyes constantly scanning rear and side view mirrors for his motorcycle, or will he be driving a car?
Will he shoot me? Drive me off the road?
At work, the security guard picks me up at my car and drives me to the front door. I scooch down in the front seat wondering if a shot will pick me off through the side window.
Inside, I stop before every hallway turn in case he comes ‘round a corner. He can’t get in here. But somehow I fear his presence. I slow down and look outside before walking in front of every window to fearful of seeing a gun pointed at me with his face behind it.
When I go outside, I’m always near a wall, ready to drop to the ground and roll.
When I drop the soap in the shower it makes a bang, for a split second, I think it’s a shot and jump, my heart beats wildly and adrenalin courses through my body.
My stomach is always roiling, my fear expressing itself in my gut.
I’m constantly exhausted, unable to sleep. Will I wake up in the morning? I can’t be watchful when I’m asleep.
All my muscles are tense and ache; neck, shoulders, legs, arms, back.
I live in fear of my life every second of every day.
He loved me as no other, and I trusted him completely. When I slipped out of his control just a little, he threatened the things I love. Each control and each threat was subtle, each built upon the last. I didn’t realize it was happening. Until one day, when I said I was going to start seeking help and healing, and he felt his control in serious jeopardy, and held on to his control more tightly.
Having removed the blinders, I had begun to see the control and the threat. I ran for my life. Now I fear, every moment of every day.
Living in Fear
I leave the house and walk to the car, it’s dark. Is he waiting for me out there?
I drive to work, eyes constantly scanning rear and side view mirrors for his motorcycle, or will he be driving a car?
Will he shoot me? Drive me off the road?
At work, the security guard picks me up at my car and drives me to the front door. I scooch down in the front seat wondering if a shot will pick me off through the side window.
Inside, I stop before every hallway turn in case he comes ‘round a corner. He can’t get in here. But somehow I fear his presence. I slow down and look outside before walking in front of every window to fearful of seeing a gun pointed at me with his face behind it.
When I go outside, I’m always near a wall, ready to drop to the ground and roll.
When I drop the soap in the shower it makes a bang, for a split second, I think it’s a shot and jump, my heart beats wildly and adrenalin courses through my body.
My stomach is always roiling, my fear expressing itself in my gut.
I’m constantly exhausted, unable to sleep. Will I wake up in the morning? I can’t be watchful when I’m asleep.
All my muscles are tense and ache; neck, shoulders, legs, arms, back.
I live in fear of my life every second of every day.
He loved me as no other, and I trusted him completely. When I slipped out of his control just a little, he threatened the things I love. Each control and each threat was subtle, each built upon the last. I didn’t realize it was happening. Until one day, when I said I was going to start seeking help and healing, and he felt his control in serious jeopardy, and held on to his control more tightly.
Having removed the blinders, I had begun to see the control and the threat. I ran for my life. Now I fear, every moment of every day.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Missouri
Posts: 673
Originally Posted by naive 
really, what kind of man would stay in your house and leave you in a shelter? think about that when you find yourself wavering.
naive
naive
But no... peoples' faith in me, and support of me keep me from making that mistake. And what a huge mistake it would be!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Tigger,
Can you get counseling to help with this, so that you will be able to regain a sense of appropriate safety....and able to recognize danger and threat, both. Hopefully it is masked things becoming conscious and you will be able to sort it out.
There are so many stereotypes, no profession even helping professions are exempt from them. Every one has a story and a right to human dignity!
Can you get counseling to help with this, so that you will be able to regain a sense of appropriate safety....and able to recognize danger and threat, both. Hopefully it is masked things becoming conscious and you will be able to sort it out.
There are so many stereotypes, no profession even helping professions are exempt from them. Every one has a story and a right to human dignity!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Missouri
Posts: 673
Live Angel - I get counseling help at every opportunity. I get it here on SR, at the shelter (actual qualified counselors there), from my family, from my friends. I am BLESSED! At this time, I believe it's okay to be uber watchful and careful. When he's gone, I can learn appropriate ways to be safe and relaxed simultaneously.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
