Leadership, delegating, and tendencies
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 43
Leadership, delegating, and tendencies
Hello everyone!
I'm having a tough time figuring out what to do with a situation that doesn't involve an alcoholic--but still involves my tendencies! I'm the chair of a volunteer board for an organization, and one of the board members is responsible for planning an event this Sunday. This involves picking up some groceries--it's an ice cream party. She told me and my co-chair that she "didn't have time to go shopping", so we should do it for her, and we replied by telling her that it's her responsibility to plan the event and arrange for the ice cream to be there. Today, I received an email from her stating that she couldn't do it, and we "didn't give her enough time." (She chose the date for the event.) This is a person who is currently in leadership role, and hoping to take on more responsability in the future. I am tempted both A) to be mad at her and B) to step in and take over. Neither of these seems ideal--for her, me, or the future success of the organization.
One thought is to reply to her email saying something along the lines of--"You can't go shopping for materials needed for your event, but you need food for it to work--how do you plan on solving this problem?" (only more articulate, of course).
How would you handle this situation?
I'm having a tough time figuring out what to do with a situation that doesn't involve an alcoholic--but still involves my tendencies! I'm the chair of a volunteer board for an organization, and one of the board members is responsible for planning an event this Sunday. This involves picking up some groceries--it's an ice cream party. She told me and my co-chair that she "didn't have time to go shopping", so we should do it for her, and we replied by telling her that it's her responsibility to plan the event and arrange for the ice cream to be there. Today, I received an email from her stating that she couldn't do it, and we "didn't give her enough time." (She chose the date for the event.) This is a person who is currently in leadership role, and hoping to take on more responsability in the future. I am tempted both A) to be mad at her and B) to step in and take over. Neither of these seems ideal--for her, me, or the future success of the organization.
One thought is to reply to her email saying something along the lines of--"You can't go shopping for materials needed for your event, but you need food for it to work--how do you plan on solving this problem?" (only more articulate, of course).
How would you handle this situation?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,582
Hi,
Volunteer organizations are tricky. I have lots of experience with them and since the vols are not paid, then you can't fuss with them. I assume you are a vol too. If it is her event and you are under her, then if she won't do it you or someone else will have to. If it is your event and you have delegated to her, then find someone else to delegate to.
In the future do not have this woman in responsibe roles. There are workers and there are rainmakers, perhaps she is better as a rainmaker "name" for the event.
Volunteer organizations are tricky. I have lots of experience with them and since the vols are not paid, then you can't fuss with them. I assume you are a vol too. If it is her event and you are under her, then if she won't do it you or someone else will have to. If it is your event and you have delegated to her, then find someone else to delegate to.
In the future do not have this woman in responsibe roles. There are workers and there are rainmakers, perhaps she is better as a rainmaker "name" for the event.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
I agree with MissFixit…if this event is important to the organization then someone needs to step in and make it a success for the organization.
I’d simply send her a reply saying: ok, we’ll take it from here.
I’d also make sure she is never in charge of something so important again until she can prove herself other wise.
I’d simply send her a reply saying: ok, we’ll take it from here.
I’d also make sure she is never in charge of something so important again until she can prove herself other wise.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
It sounds to me as though she was fishing for someone to take on the role of shopper for the event but did not go about it well. Now she is under pressure to get the event organized and in her stress is still going about things the wrong way by playing the victim.
I think you are right to pose the question back to her about the event asking what remedies she wants to pursue to resolve the problem(s) and what she would like from you to get things on track.
If she wants a leadership role and is hoping to make an upward move in responsbility with this event, the best way for her to do that is to enlist your guidance rather than your wrath.
Of course, I'm a recovery codependent. My answer up until now would be to drop everything and organize the event myself under a flurry of complaints and whalings, wait until someone else had taken credit, then cry to anyone who would listen that my kindness and invaluable help were taken advantage of.
Let us know how you decide to deal with this, it's a great learning topic!!
Alice
I think you are right to pose the question back to her about the event asking what remedies she wants to pursue to resolve the problem(s) and what she would like from you to get things on track.
If she wants a leadership role and is hoping to make an upward move in responsbility with this event, the best way for her to do that is to enlist your guidance rather than your wrath.
Of course, I'm a recovery codependent. My answer up until now would be to drop everything and organize the event myself under a flurry of complaints and whalings, wait until someone else had taken credit, then cry to anyone who would listen that my kindness and invaluable help were taken advantage of.
Let us know how you decide to deal with this, it's a great learning topic!!
Alice
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,582
Alice makes a good argument for not being codependent.
Non-profit work and volunteerism is different than family, friend or professional situations. If the volunteers don't tow the line then the charity and beneficiaries suffer.
I have worked for non-profits for years and they are complex creatures. Active co-dependents make GREAT volunteers! This is just my humble opinion, but as a volunteer especially a board member there is a heavy responsibility when accrpting that role.
Non-profit work and volunteerism is different than family, friend or professional situations. If the volunteers don't tow the line then the charity and beneficiaries suffer.
I have worked for non-profits for years and they are complex creatures. Active co-dependents make GREAT volunteers! This is just my humble opinion, but as a volunteer especially a board member there is a heavy responsibility when accrpting that role.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 43
Thanks so much for the advice, everyone. We simply told her that if she didn't do it, it wouldn't happen and the event would have no food, in a very matter of fact way. She's already done the shopping. Of course, I know it doesn't always work out that way--she could have decided not to do it! But this time, it did. (We did have a damage control plan the whole time for how to change the event to work without food if she didn't come through)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,582
Congrats Poetry. Sounds like you handled things well.
IMHO, this woman should not have responsible roles for the non-profit. I had to work around folks many times and the best thing I found was to place unpredictable vols in roles without responsibility.
I don't want to be bossy, but this is something that hit home with me. It took me a long time to realize this.
IMHO, this woman should not have responsible roles for the non-profit. I had to work around folks many times and the best thing I found was to place unpredictable vols in roles without responsibility.
I don't want to be bossy, but this is something that hit home with me. It took me a long time to realize this.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 247
My name is intheknow and I am an overachiever. I would have tried to do this by myself, make it the best event possible, and then fume for everything that everyone else did not do...and have a mini breakdown...and swear it would never happen again...
But that is the old me! The new me says you are awesome for putting the responsibility back on her. Somehow she found a way to get it done! Great job.
But that is the old me! The new me says you are awesome for putting the responsibility back on her. Somehow she found a way to get it done! Great job.
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