rdy4change

So, many of you remember that on Friday of last week I met with my attorney and got the 'final draft' of my MTA. So...now I'm ready to proceed and AH told a few of his friends this past weekend that I wanted a divorce so I finally know he heard me and is taking me seriously.

Now, he was gone this entire weekend at our cabin with a friend of his who does meth (and will ultimately be going to treatment in the next couple of weeks for the 2nd time) and returned late last night. I was asleep when he got home but he popped into bed and called a mutual friend of ours. Had the typical small talk and then said 'yeah I tried crystal meth for the first time today'. I DID NOT react.

I know you guys can't answer if he did or didn't but is it typical that an alcoholic who's world is caving in would try a different form of a 'pain killer'? If he did do it, that will change the dynamics of everything for me.

Anyone have any experience with this one? He hasn't been one to dabble in anything other than pot but wonder if now he's thinking...what the heck.

Seriously...think you round a corner and wham!

MissFixit

Why are you still sleeping together if you are getting a divorce?

GiveLove

Sounds like you are making the right decision in removing yourself from this marriage.

I'm not sure why you would doubt that he did meth, when he himself stated that he did.

And yes, it's common for addictive personalities to use anything they feel will numb their pain: drugs, sex, booze, anger....the list goes on and on. In my life, there were frequent occurrences of the addict making sure that I knew that I had "driven him to this"

Keep the focus on YOU and on saving your life, rdy. You HAVE turned the corner, if you are doing this for yourself, and not to elicit a certain reaction from him. He is doing what addicts do. And, as that famous post says, we have to "Stop being surprised."
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ddicts-do.html

Take care of yourself!

NYC_Chick

Why would it change anything if he did meth? You want a divorce and you are getting one. If this is his new addiction, it's still not your problem, just like his alcoholism.

rdy4change

Fixit...we still sleep together because we don't have another bedroom and he won't move out. I sleep in the room because of my daughter. Nothing more than sleep going on....trust me.
Give...I think he just says it to get me going. Anything to try to get a rise out of me.
NYChick...I want(ed) to believe that if it was just alcohol that someday he would still get help. Even without me. If he adds meth into the mix I'll lose all hope and start looking for another place to live pronto! I can't right now because I have NO money until our house sells to move out.

24Years

Sounds like this could be an emotional roller coaster if you're not careful. I think I would concentrate on his behaviors and whether you can tolerate them, and forget about whether he is doing alcohol or meth... or anything else for that matter. I know for myself, I would need to protect my already fragile emotions (since currently I'm also on my way out if things don't change). I'm living with my husband who is a highly functional alcohol abuser or alcoholic (I'm leaving whichever he is to my higher power). Although I also get that if you find he is currently using meth and his behaviors show it, you may be out sooner than later.

((((Hugs)))) to you.

nothappy

Yep. People trade one addiction for another. People add one addiction on top of another. People make bad decisions when they're drunk. People make bad deecision when they're on drugs. I understand why you'd be upset. It is all scarey.

BTW, I sleep on the couch most of the tiime so I don't have to smell AH or listen to him snore.

sodetermined

My x alcoholic/addict bf's drug of choice is meth. He goes back and forth between the two of them. When his drinking starts to get bad (awful hangovers, etc.), he goes back to meth. He drinks less when he uses meth, but when he reverts back to drinking, he picks up right where he left off in no time.

Meth is an awful drug, it has changed the person I once fell in love with all together. That person is long gone, and the sad part is I don't even think he realizes the destruction he is causing in his own life.

But it's his life, his decisions...I have to worry about me.

Just be careful around anyone who uses meth.

MissFixit

Hey there,

I did not mean to come across as harsh in asking why you sleep with the guy. I immediately thought that you would not know about the meth comment if he wasn't there and if it worries you then you would be physically away from him if you are not in the same bed.

Hugs

rdy4change

No worries MissFixit...I wasn't offended at all! Takes a lot more to rattle my cage these days. Besides...sometimes we all need a little harsh anyway.

Thank you to all for the replies and as always...support!