Lahita

Hello,

I have a strange question since the holidays will be arriving soon. I fired my XABF a few months ago. We were together for five years. XABF has two older sons that I grew very close to over the course of our relationship. The sons are aware of why I broke up with their father and have told me they understand why I made the decision to leave the relationship (Yep, that part broke my heart). I have always bought them something for Christmas and their birthdays but don't know if it is appropriate to continue doing so. I don't want XABF to see it as some weird invitation to contact me. It has taken a while for XABF to get through his head that I do not want any contact whatsoever. What do you think? Thanks in advance.

I know I don't post very much, but I diligently read this forum every night. It has given me the courage to get on with my life.

intheknow

How old are the sons? Is this something that they would understand is a gift from you because you care about them? Are they old enough to separate the two issues...you care about them does not mean that you love him or want him back?

Live

You said they were older and you had a good relationship with them, so I don't see what the harm would be.
I am still "the other mother" to a young lady who was just a cub when I was with her dad and we just adored each other. We don't see each other often at all anymore, but we will always have a special place in our hearts for each other. And I have sent her gifts, took her to my daughter's wedding etc.
I would guess that since you know the relationships dynamics, you would be able to judge this situation best. They are old enough you can deal with them directly, right?

Lahita

Thanks for the replies. The boys are 18 and 21 so actually they are young men. One still lives at home and the other left home this year for college.