Holidays with RAH in first year.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 985
Holidays with RAH in first year.
I would like to hear from others what their first year with a person in recovery.
What remains the same and what changes?
We are an older couple early in our marriage - children are adults who will be visiting and are aware of the situation in general. We are also living separately.
What remains the same and what changes?
We are an older couple early in our marriage - children are adults who will be visiting and are aware of the situation in general. We are also living separately.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Kassie,
I have only gone through this with family members, and the minefield for us was the presence of lots of alcohol and the presence of other people getting drunk. Have you talked over your fears with your RAH? Does he have a plan for protecting his sobriety?
I have only gone through this with family members, and the minefield for us was the presence of lots of alcohol and the presence of other people getting drunk. Have you talked over your fears with your RAH? Does he have a plan for protecting his sobriety?
work in progress
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: the sunshine state
Posts: 623
I am only 60 days in living with my RAH. So far so good. He is working every day on his recovery and has made many friends in the program. We both take it "one day at a time". If there is an issue, we work very hard at having "share" time to work through it. If your RAH is working the program, he will know how to handle the holidays for himself. His recovery belongs to him and only him. But for now, one day at a time. As for you, do what's right for you, don't limit yourself, and if there's a gathering he may not feel strong enough to attend, by all means go and enjoy yourself. If he is really working the program, he will understand.
Share time is very important to partners who are living in recovery. Both the RA and the Codependent must work together to establish boundaries for one another. My RAH and I communicate very well together without judgment, fear, or guilt. This is part of recovery for both of us and seems to be working "today".
I wish you happy holidays.
"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life - define yourself."
Harvey Fierstein[/COLOR]
Share time is very important to partners who are living in recovery. Both the RA and the Codependent must work together to establish boundaries for one another. My RAH and I communicate very well together without judgment, fear, or guilt. This is part of recovery for both of us and seems to be working "today".
I wish you happy holidays.
"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life - define yourself."
Harvey Fierstein[/COLOR]
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