Another New Story
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Lovetolaugh,
Just welcoming you to our little corner of sanity here.
And admitting that I laughed through much of your thread....I just love the people here so much. I kept having these visions of what would happen if we locked him in a room with some of these strong women. Would he cry out, "Stop! You all need to be more soft, subservient, and less independent!" ?
The wise path would be to change your locks, lock your doors, drop off his remaining stuff on his porch in a cardboard box when you know he won't be home, and get a restraining order, making sure he's served.
It took some suffering before I convinced myself that it was worth all that....some suffering that almost cost me my life, and did cost me some of my already-limited good looks. Hoping you choose the path of "inconvenient but safe". Truly, this guy is a manipulative bully and needs to be out of your life, and now.
YOU, my friend, are a funny, smart, wonderful mom and I'm so glad you found us
Big hugs,
GL
Just welcoming you to our little corner of sanity here.
And admitting that I laughed through much of your thread....I just love the people here so much. I kept having these visions of what would happen if we locked him in a room with some of these strong women. Would he cry out, "Stop! You all need to be more soft, subservient, and less independent!" ?
The wise path would be to change your locks, lock your doors, drop off his remaining stuff on his porch in a cardboard box when you know he won't be home, and get a restraining order, making sure he's served.
It took some suffering before I convinced myself that it was worth all that....some suffering that almost cost me my life, and did cost me some of my already-limited good looks. Hoping you choose the path of "inconvenient but safe". Truly, this guy is a manipulative bully and needs to be out of your life, and now.
YOU, my friend, are a funny, smart, wonderful mom and I'm so glad you found us
Big hugs,
GL
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
You're right about the restraining order, but for me it served two purposes: 1) let him know I was DEAD serious, and 2) kept ME from making contact during times I was tempted to do so. It was very useful that way.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
For me as well, tjp. I wasn't expecting the piece of paper to protect me, but it was a statement that I was done accepting his bullying lying down, which is what he had come to expect of me for a long time.
I took what I knew about him (which was a lot), and gambled that he wouldn't want the risk or inconvenience of this "crazy" woman threatening to have him locked up, and having that on his record. He left me be for a long time, and has only ever broken it with two phone calls in ten years.
I took what I knew about him (which was a lot), and gambled that he wouldn't want the risk or inconvenience of this "crazy" woman threatening to have him locked up, and having that on his record. He left me be for a long time, and has only ever broken it with two phone calls in ten years.
Getting to my HAPPY PLACE!
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Virginia
Posts: 298
Please share with me aything you did that got you through the day with no contact.
Do NOT engage him with ANY conversation or if you find yourself in a situation where you "have" to talk to him - keep it SHORT - say what needs to be said (in regards to his stuff, dividing stuff, house stuff, "material" stuff - NO emotional stuff) and hang up, close the door, walk away, say I'm done now BYE. But DON'T let him manipulate you into shouting matches.
I bet the more you practice the "cold shoulder" the better you will get at it. I sure did. And if I had to guess - I bet to this day my ex has NO idea what my true feelings were on our breakup nor no idea how bad it affected me and that is the way I like it. He deserves NOTHING from me.
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