Three DWI's in One Week!
Recovering Nicely
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 935
Three DWI's in One Week!
I posted a few weeks ago about how AH left me, etc. Won't go into a long drawn out thing here. In any event, I have been pretty good w/enforcing my boundaries, a couple of little slips here and there, but in the past week or so, definitely been enforcing them. Knows he can't come home till he's sober for a long time. Needless to say, he has not been respecting my boundaries, he has come home, been drinking, I make him leave, etc. It has gotten so bad that he was so nasty to me, nastier than he ever was.
In any event, he has spiraled so out of control that in one week's time, he managed to get three dwi charges against him, two were pretty far away in our state, the last one was right in our county. He showed up at my house drunk and I made him leave. Originally, he called me telling me he set up detox/rehab and could I call w/the insurance information (he does not have that). I did. He asked if he could come to our house to unwrinkle some of his clothes. I said yes, then he needed to call a cab and go straight to rehab. He arrived drunk, I suggested he call a cab and check himself into detox/rehab the next day (he claimed it was too late to go that day, which it was since he had to be there by 1 pm). Instead he chose to drive. And got picked up. He's facing a year in jail.
There are two parts to this I am really struggling with:
1) I know he chose to drive, but a part of me feels partially responsible cause I made him leave, I enforced my boundary. Had I let him stay the nite, he may have went to rehab in the morning, but I highly doubt it.
2) Here was a man who when he had been sober for 15 years, had everything, great wife, great family, nice house, nice truck, good job, money in savings and retirement, etc. In three short years, he managed to lose his job, lose his house, lose his wife and family, spent all his retirement and savings, lost his license, lost his truck and is sitting in jail. It is so very sad to see what alcohol does to a person.
Thanks for listening
In any event, he has spiraled so out of control that in one week's time, he managed to get three dwi charges against him, two were pretty far away in our state, the last one was right in our county. He showed up at my house drunk and I made him leave. Originally, he called me telling me he set up detox/rehab and could I call w/the insurance information (he does not have that). I did. He asked if he could come to our house to unwrinkle some of his clothes. I said yes, then he needed to call a cab and go straight to rehab. He arrived drunk, I suggested he call a cab and check himself into detox/rehab the next day (he claimed it was too late to go that day, which it was since he had to be there by 1 pm). Instead he chose to drive. And got picked up. He's facing a year in jail.
There are two parts to this I am really struggling with:
1) I know he chose to drive, but a part of me feels partially responsible cause I made him leave, I enforced my boundary. Had I let him stay the nite, he may have went to rehab in the morning, but I highly doubt it.
2) Here was a man who when he had been sober for 15 years, had everything, great wife, great family, nice house, nice truck, good job, money in savings and retirement, etc. In three short years, he managed to lose his job, lose his house, lose his wife and family, spent all his retirement and savings, lost his license, lost his truck and is sitting in jail. It is so very sad to see what alcohol does to a person.
Thanks for listening
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,322
Queen,
I made my exah leave, several times. He has since earned several DUI's. He also lost a great wife, children, home, job, friends -- all of it. I think most addicts/alcoholics do spiral down and lose so much. You are not alone. Hugs to you. Sorry you are sad, dear.
I made my exah leave, several times. He has since earned several DUI's. He also lost a great wife, children, home, job, friends -- all of it. I think most addicts/alcoholics do spiral down and lose so much. You are not alone. Hugs to you. Sorry you are sad, dear.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
I've made choices that were the wrong ones in my life. From my choice of partner it turned out, to not paying attention and grabbing the wrong shampoo at the store.
I agree that life is all about choices big and small.
Anyone can have an opinon on whether they think my choices are the right ones, but when all is said and done, it's me who has to live with them.
Your AH is no different. He has to live by the choices he's made. I can read the sorrow in your post and wish it could all go away.
You are not alone when you are hear. Keep sharing!
Alice
I agree that life is all about choices big and small.
Anyone can have an opinon on whether they think my choices are the right ones, but when all is said and done, it's me who has to live with them.
Your AH is no different. He has to live by the choices he's made. I can read the sorrow in your post and wish it could all go away.
You are not alone when you are hear. Keep sharing!
Alice
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