Startingover2

Exah wants us to have Thanksgiving with him and a few members of his family. Now I realize he doesn't give a darn about ME having Thanksgiving but since he can't take baby alone her and I are a package. The family members that will be there I really do like but I am just struggling with what to do. These family members will not be around exah if he is drinking so hopefully he would be on his best.

I would go with my family for the first part of the day as exah says they won't eat until late afternoon.

What to do????

I know he needs to see baby on Tgiving but it is so scary. My pride says just make an appearance and leave. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. Still drinking. Still is involved with a married woman. Still is making all the choices that got us to this place. How nice to pick and choose when he wants to be a family man.

But.....

Do I put my feelings aside and do this for baby or do I just say Hi for a few minutes?

nothappy

IMO. The baby will react more to how you feel than to where you go for Thanksgiving. Exah's feelings are his own responsibility. The most important thing is that you do what's best for you. Why does he need to see the baby on Thanksgiving? Doing the happy family act revolves around the alcoholic's moods. Life is stressful enough without you worring about what he needs. What do you need? What do you want? Take care of yourself. IMO, jaded though it may be.

Startingover2

I do have to let him see baby on holidays per my attorney. I just got off the phone with him (attorney) and he said exah does have the right to see her on holidays and because he has supervised visits I will have to suck it up at least a bit. Our order says we will work out the details. I legally cannot withhold her from him.

So...for me? I don't want him to see her. IMO he doesn't deserve her...but that is my selfish side. What would be appropriate?

nothappy

I would do the legal minimum and do everything possible to enjoy the rest of my day. I guess I would also do everything possible to maintain good relationships with sane members of my baby's family. Look at it this way, you can give thanks for the sane relatives on your exah's side of the family. My husband's whole family is nuts and so is mine, to the point of no contact with either side.