Living with Integrity
 

Been thinking about this lately and Googled some stuff about it. I found this to be helpful...



"If you are not living with integrity, your goals become hard to reach, you attract people that make you feel bad, and you lose your trust in yourself. If you feel you are out of touch with who you want to be and are breaking promises to yourself, use these three steps to restore your integrity!"

Step One: Create an "Absolute Integrity List." Make three promises to yourself to restore your integrity.

Step Two: Create a personal vision statement that gives you clarity about your beliefs and will lead you to become the person you've always wanted to be.

Step Three: Identify where you are not being truthful in your life.


I think this, with my 12 Step work, is a great place to start...

One thing I had started to resort to was mirroring my AH's bad behavior, because I thought, if he can do it why can't I?

I stopped myself QUICKLY even when it sometimes resulted in me admitting my wrongs or not getting to do what felt best in the heat of the moment.

I realized I want to be an ethical person who stuck to her values, not someone who behaved as erratically as the worst person she was around. I feel stronger and have better self esteem because I know I am making sound choices and behaving well (at least much better than I used to at times!) rather than engaging in negative behaviors and thoughts.

Good post.

Good stuff. Definitely makes me think about what I want, what I need.

Thanks for sharing BS08. I had started to work on my integrity earlier this year but somehow or another, I stopped working it. So your post was a timely reminder!

I'm not sure what this means. Did they give an example? The reading I was doing earlier this year related to Integrity tied it back to your values and making sure you are conscious of your values and incorporate them in your decisions every day. I guess that is the same as the Step One you posted?

For me, I had to do some investigating about what my values really are. And I am actually investigating and reflecting on some of those things this week. I quit smoking yesterday because one of my values is health. So to maintain my integrity and trueness to my own value of health, I decided I will not smoke any more. I hope I am doing this work the right way.

I was also thinking about this recently, had been giving the exagf grief about her associations, her hanging out with the people she smoked crack with-none of them in recovery-and I had that flash, after the split. I was hanging out with her!

And not being judgmental, her values are hers, but what about mine?