kermit

I'm at my point where I just don't want to go on anymore, please don't worrie I will not kill myself, but I'm lost and in pain and my kids are suffering because I can't be a good mom right now. I have to put my daughter in a apartment and my boys and I have to move in with my parents for many reasons, finance, my mom and dad are ill ect........ I'm tired I want to curl up in a ball and not excist(sp) anymore.. how do I get out of my rut? How do I make it all better? I'm crazy

Dee74

Hi Kermit

I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now.
I don't get down here much, and I only know a little of your situation from what I've seen of your posts, but I wanted to remind you you're not alone

I've seen enough of you here to know you're a good person and a great mom. Don't lose sight of that.

I know when things are tough for me, everything gets much bigger...to get through that sometimes it really is a day at a time, a task at a time.

Sometimes it takes focusing on the good stuff - cos there's always good stuff.

Sometimes it takes doing something good for yourself every day...

You've got a lot of stuff going on right now - try and stick in today...today's all we can do anything about, Kermie. Worrying about what ifs is natural, but it's pretty useless.

Above all? stick close to SR.
I know others will be along to join you soon

D

greeteachday

((((Kermit))))
I'm so sorry you are hurting. I can't say I understand since I am not walking in your shoes, but I have experienced times where I truly did not want to be here....I wasn't suicidal; I just really wasn't sure how I was going to make it through. I think what is written in my signature line is what helped me through...just trusting with blind faith (in whatever, whoever...God, the universe, myself, others) that things would get better...that the only place to go from the bottom was to crawl back up.

Thinking of you and sending lots and lots of positive thoughts. Keep posting here; I have found that helpful when I struggled to get through darkness.

kermit

I'm a wreck, I know that it will all turn out okay, but going thru this is rough.
I feel like I'm in a nightmare that I will never wake up from, every time I turn around some part of my ex haunts me, it seems i'm talking to him more often, and I feel myself being sucked back in, I want to break down and let him know what's going on, but I won't, almost did but won't.. he knows I'm moving myself and the boys in with my parents but I made it sound like a Great thing.. he makes me miss him! YUCK!
Well, the good part is that I won't have to clean two houses anymore and my boys will have all their stuff there,they are always there after school anyway,It 's like all we do here is sleeo, we spend most of our time there any way... But where am I going to put all their stuff.... Storage unit here we come.
There is so much to get done..
One big down fall, my brother still lives there and he is a A. Has always been.
But this is not forever. It wioll give me time to pay off my debt, save and help my parents... in 3yrs my goal is to have saved enough money to buy my own home.
Thanks for listening to me

Chrysalis123

:praying

bookwyrm

:ghug2

One step at a time kermit. When I'm down I feel overwhelmed by everything I think I HAVE to do. Have you considered going to see a doctor about how you're feeling? Anti depressants have helped me.

Take a deep breath and focus on one practical thing at a time. Moving is so stressful - I know I was way too busy packing etc to think about STBXAH when I moved. Hopefully you can stay focussed on it and your future goal. You know you can get through this! (((Kermit)))

veryregretful

Hi Kermit,

I'm feeling exactly like you are right now. My AH has been out of the house over two weeks. I am very overwhelmed. I feel like I can't go on anymore. All I want to do is sleep. i can keep my house clean - do the essentials but other than that I'm having a hard time. I have two 14 year olds. I'm staying in the house right now but all his crap is everywhere. I brought down to the base all his crap (his favorite place) so that I wouldn't see it everywhere on the first floor. Outside he has tons of wood and etc and that is definately overwhelming to me. Him still drinking is overwhelming me. Heck, everthing is overwhelming. I am on an antidepressant but I think I need to up it for right now. I'll have to put a call in to the doctor.

I don't have any advice for you but I definately know how you are feeling. It stinks.

I just want to be happy and not feel like I'm feeling right now.
Hugs

Ann

(((Kermit)))

This sounds like one of those "in between" places of transition where you get to go from where you were to where you want to be. It's the hardest part, being in-between but just part of the journey.

Bad days never last forever, good days will start sneaking up on you soon.

Just know that we're all here and we care.

Hugs

Pelican

I'm sorry you are feeling so down. You are saying goodbye to the home you lived in, the home that held your hopes and dreams for a different future. Go ahead and grieve for the loss of that dream. Your life is taking a different direction and you will begin to make new plans for a healthier you.

I do see some bright spots heading your way. One less place to clean. No more back and forth each day. Paying down debts. Being there for your parents as they are aging. These are just the beginning of a new journey for you and your children.

You're an awesome Mom and Daughter! Do your best each day, one day at a time. We'll be here to support you.

((((kermit))))

Still Waters

Big hugs Kermit, this too shall pass. Just keep thinking "temporary".

I'm living in one room, with a teenager, with no vehicle, and my nutcase AH is asking for alimony. LOL.

JenT1968

Big hugs from me too, I remember want just to somehow not "be" anymore, nothing as active as suicide, but just to fade away somehow.
Its a horrible place to be.
sending lots of love
xx

kermit

I have been doing alot af thinking now I need to take action, we don't have long and we will be in with my parents, started cleaning out the closets ordered the shed for the back yard.... I figure if I just take action and get this done I won't think about it to much

weird thing is I want to reach out to my ExAh......... sigh.......

cmc

(((kermie)))


I'm sorry you're hurting. Moving, under any circumstances, can be both stressful and physically tiresome.
I'm so proud of you for doing what you need to do in order to take care of yourself and the kids; and I'm praying that you will accomplish all of your goals while you are there.
You're a good mom.

kermit

so many of my things will be going to storgae. SIGH, I'm sad that "my" things will not be in "my" home anymore. I hate this. Can't stop crying, but I'm Moving forward day by day... I don't have much time left. Cleaning Moms home to make room for us this weekend, it is going to be a nightmare!
Where do we put all our stuff?
We have two fish tanks, one a 20 gallon with Flipper the African side neck turtle and a 10gallon with fish... oh and 3 dogs(Mom is not looking forward to that) but Dad is, he loves the dogs.
Had a garage sale, did well....

Dee74

I moved from a house to an apartment many years ago due mostly to drinking - I had to sell most of my things...I still regret I let things get to that.

At least with a storage place you still have all you want of it
This is only temporary Kermit

D