Startingover2

...as I should be so used to this and its a constant reminder of the constant let downs from the past.

Exah was all excited about spending Halloween with us. We have a little party to go to this afternoon with some girlfriends and their families from our playgroup and then hit a few houses trick or treating. I figured it would be nice to include exah with baby. He asked to go with us and was seemingly excited all last week and this morning when he was here for his visit.

Just a bit ago he sent a text saying to take baby to party without him and he will catch up later and he didn't feel well. I just said ok.

I would by lying if I said I wasn't a bit disappointed. Then I realize this was our pattern when married, why should now be different? He always bailed on outings and fun things before. He was either drunk, loaded up on pills, or sick. I would get so angry. My guess this will also be a pattern in baby's life too. One disappointment after the other. Maybe if Halloween fell during the week he would make it, but weekends are prime drinking/pill popping days for exah and as fun as spending the afternoon/evening with us temptation just got to him.

Thank you HP for bringing me back to reality.Sad yes, but we will still have a great time without him.

Still Waters

Sad, but better to be based in reality than to go back to magical thinking no?

Startingover2

Absolutely! I think things like this happen for a reason and this was to bump me back to reality yet again. I used to hate going places alone when exah would have some sort of something wrong with him or he was flat out too drunk. Then again, even if he did go I was watching him like a hawk.

Still Waters

I found that being out in public with him drunk or drugged up was worse than going alone. But, I don't mind going and being alone anyway.

Scary story: We were headed to a band concert for the school, AH (dry) was driving. He needed directions, claimed he'd never been there before. He had been there a few months earlier, he just had absolutely no recollection of it. He insisted I was wrong, he was right.

Nothing new there :/

coyote21

They say expectations are premeditated resentments, or something like that?

Any way, I know I was much happier when I decided to stop expecting my alcoholic ex-wife to behave any way except like an alcoholic. I have absolute power over my expectations.

No expectations=no let downs/surprises=no resentments. Well, less any way.....progress not perfection, right?



Yes, in Alanon they suggest you always have a back up plan "B".

Have a GREAT TIME tonight WITHOUT him.


Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote