Hammer

which was the basis of the name choice.

My more common nickname in these lines seemed too complicated -- Two Speeds -- Hard and Harder.


Good. Just so long as you recall the path to the emergency exit and lifeboats.


You may consider that about 8 years ago (rough reckoning) . . . I was right where you are at, now.




.

PohsFriend

No worries hammer, know where your heart is and certainly know that tomorrow is not promised and 8 years from now life will be different - better, worse, different.

I'm glad you have something that is working for you and I hope I never feel like an alanon meeting but I know where some are.

Hammer

51 Hours.

Not that I am counting. Yes I am. Yes I am.

Packed, Stacked and Loaded.

Hammer

5 Hours.

Happy. Happy. Happy.

Was getting a load of strange flack from the other side of the bed this morning.

Enemy must be nervous.

Smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.

Staying on Target.

Stung

I hope you actually realize that she is her own enemy, not yours. Likewise, your real enemy is in that head of yours. Yes, the best strategy is to understand YOUR enemy.

Hammer

sure, sure. Mostly just having fun with all that.

Partly laughing at myself, and was a little more serious that way back here >>>

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-big-book.html

But I have to tell you, Sister -- seeing words like this from you, is making me think that You Are Doing A Little Better, Too!

Cheers! To *us*

Hammer

wow.

Did the first Step Study meeting.

Fairly amazing. Like Alanon Grad School or something. Counted 18 guys, I think it will be 20 next week and for the duration.

The guys running it KNOW their business. Frankly a little bit intimidating. Sat with a lawyer, and I noticed his legs were shaky.

Just really impressed. This is like nothing I have seen before.

One of the lead guys has a slight stutter. And talked about it.

I do not have to be afraid of my voice cracking.

Set books, reading assignments, laid out "lecture," topics and study groups outside of the meeting(s).

Never knew Alanon had ANYTHING like this.

MissFixit

glad you have a positive experience there.

Hammer

Thanks.

Yep. Positive Experience.

THAT is the understatement of my year.

choublak

Oh but a lot of people use the meetings like a dating service.

MissFixit

that is strange to me. i don't think i ever noticed the dating stuff at alanon, but i was too busy crying.

that reminds me of someone dating a person they met at their psychiatrist office. probably not a good idea. that was how Tony Soprano met his craziest girlfriend.

Hammer

Understand. I have finally stopped my own drama enough to listen and learn from others. And I look up and I see some of them "looking" at me.

Strange twisted world.

On the AA side -- they are sharks -- they see a basket case like me, and if they are hunting -- a wounded girl or guy -- is just bloody meat in the water. About like Mrs. Hammer took me down in just three days.

Alanon is much more subdued. It is relatively safe. Most everyone on the Alanon side just wants to Love and Be Loved. Not so much F and get F'ed like the AA side.

Hammer

And that reminds me of a saying Mrs.. Hammer used to say . . . "You should never date someone you met at the Self-Help Section of the book store . . "

But of course -- Mrs. Hammer and I "met" online in a Support Group. She was there for Self-Injury/Cutting and I was there for PTSD/Childhood stuff.

Our (geeezzzz) "First Date," was meeting my Therapist for a session (yeah, no joke) . . . and it just keeps going and going . . . .

MissFixit

well, i grew up with a single father who dated LOTS. he had several long term girlfriends. most were nice but 2 were nightmares. one of the nightmares was with him on and off for 5 years. they attended therapy together periodically during their dating years. that always seemed strange and like the relationship was too hard. dating should be the easy fun part, right? long story short, she ended up cheating on him with 4 or 5 men. my dad refused to believe me that she was not nice when he wasn't around. he blamed me for their strained relationship. (oh, okay?). anyway, she left him for one of the fellow cheaters and he was devastated. enough so, that he immediately got engaged to the shrew that became my stepmother after 2 months. they have a very unhealthy relationship (lie to each other and fight in private, but publicly boast how great their marriage is, right...) and are completely enmeshed and codependent.

i dont know what the moral is, but if things start out dysfunctional, that is probably not a good sign.