SR.peeps.told.me...
 

Guess what? He was cheating on me. :) And he is now drinking again. :) I don't think I can ever rule anything out when it comes to his behavior. I found out that he had a thing with one girl since I was pregnant 4 years ago. And now he wants one of his girlfriends to play house with our kids. Insane.

Good Lord. I'm sorry. A Very sick person he is, indeed. You doing OK?

I'm doing OK. I feel like I finally see him for who he really is. The hard part now is the actual divorce. I was hoping we'd agree on custody, but he won't agree to not have the kids around the person who was my friend and employee, and friend of the family, who he had his main affair with. I told him it wasn't going to happen, period, end of story, and he exploded into a slew of really awful insults. It was then that I realized that he was completely hung over. He has already admitted to several relapses, but I think he's just full-blown drinking again. So, now I have to think about that when I think about what I should aks to court to do about custody.

I'm sorry you are going through this. Sometimes the only way we can really believe this stuff is to go through it. You'll be wiser (though sadder?) next time. Keep posting, and we'll all get through it together. Are you going to any Alanon at this time?

Love,
KJ

This is probably why it might be best to leave the conversing and negotiating to an attorney.

What a heel. He doesn't deserve you.

I am planning on getting an attorney, as soon as I can afford one. One thing is for sure - I can't talk to AH about it anymore. He either resorts to calling me all kinds of awful names or tries to manipulate me with fake niceness. I'm glad that I can now see it for what it is, instead of getting all riled up and wondering if I am the problem.

One thing I am really unsure about - I don't know if I should ask the court that he have only supervised visitation. I like to think that he can keep his drinking under control when he has the kids. But if I'm to follow the advice I read, alcoholics without treatment usually get progressively worse. He now has a car, which scares the living daylights out of me. I know that if I go for supervised visitation for him, he'll see it as me being [all of the names he has called me]. Haha, I guess I'm not that far from wondering if I'm the problem. Anyway, what have others done in a situation like this?

You give an addict an inch they will take a mile. Do you want him to do this when your children are around? Most definately ask if you feel it's the right thing to do and if he's not seeking treatment for his out of control drinking. Don't give him that inch with your children. Just keep in mind, the judge will make the final decision but without you saying a word, they may never know. Just my thoughts.

I'm sorry you are going through all of this. I know it's tough but hang in there.

I think that you really need a good family lawyer. Are you able to invest in one? It was one of the best things I ever did for me and my children. The price is so worth it, even if you only pay for one consultation.

I plan to get one in the next couple of weeks. I really don't think it will be that difficult to get what I want, since he is a wanted fugitive and convicted felon.