Keep it simple sister
 

This is my new motto for the coming weeks.

"Keep it simple sister!"

After my friend/roommate angrily told me on Monday that she wanted me out of her house by the weekend (see prior thread), I really had to kick things into high gear. When the fifth cottage I wanted fell through because of my menagerie of dogs, cats, and horses, I had to scramble to find housing.

An acquaintance of mine who I contacted to trailer my horses, told me he was letting a tenant go for lack of payment and general disruptive behavior and asked if I'd be interested in a room share. I quickly went out, took a look, and plunked down the first month's rent.

The next day (yesterday), my family including nieces and nephew came out to help and a willing neighbor joined in. All in all it took us seven hours with plenty of breaks and chit chat to get the truck loaded, get most of my things into a local storage unit, and get the rest to my new room share. It has taken me the day to get everthing juggled around and the pets organized into all the nooks and crannies, but we are finally looking comfortable. Everyone has dosed off finally in their chosen spots to the familiar clickety clack of my keyboard. That sound seems to be their signal to snooze.

As I sit here catching up on emails and reading the threads here on SR, I realize that a hiatus from hauling around a houseload of stuff and worrying about keeping a whole house clean along with everything else is just not where my focus is these days.

I remember before I met my XABF I moved into my first home, a condo. I moved the bulk of my posessions in my truck and hired two guys to move four large pieces including my bed across town. It seems once I started dating X I began nesting and acquiring far more than just an extra toothbrush and a second dresser.

I feel like it's time to keep it simple. Focus on just what I need and leave the rest safely packed away for now. I'm going to consider keeping my horses elsewhere so that my moving or moving them does not affect the other. Less to worry about at one time. By living more simply I can afford to pay up some old bills, keep up on some neglected things like enjoying a night out once in a while, and get a nest egg going so I can one day own my own little cottage and barn instead of renting and always wondering when I'll have to leave.

My blessings today are: The room is bright and cheerful, the pets are content, the weather is just beautiful, and the hot tub is calling!

Alice

I have been wondering how you were doing, Alice! Sooooooo glad to hear you found some new digs!

You have good plans, you sound so healthy and positive. :c014:

So nice to hear you sounding happy and at peace!!!!:a122:

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

One day our nomadic days will be over.....

Today I grabbed the last belongings I had on my last apartment and I saw the family arriving... they are coworkers from India. I saw their smiles and I said well at least my moving efforts and hassles were worth something, it was nice to see them like the place.... one day I will find my own too.


Congrats on your new place!!

Hot tub?!!! Wow! Sounds blissful on a Friday night. Way to go!

Thank you all for the well wishes. I realized today that even while I was bustling about trying to get myself settled in so I could get back to my usual work schedule etc, that living with my friend just wasn't far enough from my relationship with my XABF to be comfortable. She had a lot of the same moodiness, irrational behavior, and discontent. Of course, these were all without the daily drinking (at least that I was aware of).

She did call this morning to tell me of a couple of small items that I forgot and that I am welcome back anytime to pick them up. I thanked her and got off the phone politely. I fell very nervous and queezy. She sounded no different than if I left my coat behind after a party. Very nonchalant, friendly, and casual. My life was flipped on its head yet again and to her nothing happened. This was all too much like XABF for me.

TC,
So glad to hear the positivity in your post. I've haven't read all the threads yet for the last couple of days. So I hope to catch up on how you've gotten on while I was away. :)

Alice

Many times these days I thought "I wonder how itsmealice is doing" thanks for the great news, gives me hope!

Oh I had a bad trip to CodieLand but I am back... whew! but there was so much compassion on that thread, I was able to come back to Sanity

I am so envious about the bubble bath..............

:welcome to your new home!! finally some peace. I bet you will be sleeping much better!!

Keep
It
Simple
Sister

KISS! Give yourself a kiss and a hug...you done good! ;)

Hot tub party at Alice's!!!! Whoooooooo! :D

Glad to hear of your soft landing...you're doing great.

Yay!! Besides the dogs, I miss my hot tub the most. My room mate is fairly volatile and actively drinking, but in most ways he is so different from my (ex). I think I have some lesson to learn here, and a little growing, but when someone offers up a house that can take my critters and has a hot tub, he may have to find a new maid!!

the hot tub sounds divine :fall2: living simply & getting a nest egg, sounds like a good plan. I found having AAA road service, cell phone & just added a gps to the mix... What more is there

Alice-your place sounds like home. Your description is truly a delight-so, so happy for you.

YOU ROCK!!!
WOW, that is so cool and I am inspired that you acted right away and removed yourself from the situation.
Things will really be far more peaceful, calm and serene for you now...and what a great and together plan you have!
Really jealous of the hot tub here! :)

Oh how good it is to know you are in a better place than with your upsy-downsy friend. I did wonder if she was on something, as her mood swings were quite something, and I worried about you having that to cope with, instead of the peace you craved.

Now, please God, you can get yourself on YOUR track, instead of being tossed about by those others, in your life.

Special prayer tonight for happiness, peace, tranquility of spirit and all you need for a wonderful life.

God bless

Blessings on your new home! And HOT TUB!!! Sweeeeeeeeeeet.
peace-
b

I was thinking that she had some serious "issues" too Jadmack.

Wow Alice, you really hit the nail on the head for me, and now I know what I've been doing! In the process of de-cluttering my emotional life, I've now started de-cluttering the house physically! :lmao

Once my 21 year old moved out, I finally understood how knotted up I had been emotionally over the past few months, though I felt I had been detaching.

Then I looked at my house, and there is so much crap that I don't need. My dumpster has been getting a lot of activity.

I'm simplifying my life in more ways than one, and it really does feel good. :)

"AA does not recommend separating alcoholics from those who love them. If that has been your experience, then I am so very sorry. That is not AA.

If you have access to a Big Book, I suggest you read the chapter entitled "To The Wives.""

Freedom 1990...
Bottom line is this. My friend has been sober for 1 1/2 years - with only a few months, in the beginning, with the AA Program. She decided it was not the right program for her, and has not had a drink in all of that time. She still has not. Now, with feeling that she might relapse, she has turned to the AA Program. With that, they have ("not AA... but this HAS happened) told her to cut her ties with everyone except AA members that they consider as "safe" people for her to associate with. I totally realize that this is NOT in the "big book" or a typical and correct guidance from most of AA. The reality is... It IS happening. This is occurring in a small town in Georgia.
At this point, I am sorry to say that... that local group seems to be off-base. And, I have yet to find a way to do anything about it. So, she will go to the meetings, and do what her sponsor and the group dictate - even though it totally against what AA teaches (by the book.) This is one of the primary flaws with AA. There is no regulation or monitoring of what individual groups do... or what individual sponsors advocate. The members are at the mercy of the guidance (however good or bad) that their local sponsors give them. Again, there are studies that show that AA's "survival" rate is one of the worst of all programs (when one considers the 95+% dropout rate, and the % after one year or those that stay in the program.)
I do realize there is nothing I can do. Even if I could, it is not mine to do.
At this point, I am simply trying to understand why AA does not monitor their groups, and if they do, how this kind of thing can happen. I totally realize that, because I feel that this group may do more harm than good, that I can't do a thing - without being perceived as "part of the problem" for the recovering alcoholic. But, frankly... I think it is an abusive and controlling situation that is very dangerous - not only for my friend - but for other AH's that need help and are looking to AA to get it.

Feathers,
How do you know they told her to cut ties with everyone not in AA? Were you there when they said that? Sounds twisted up and taken out of context to me. Frequently, we hear the suggestion in NA to get rid of numbers from our using and drinking buddies and replace them with numbers from people in recovery. I've never heard it suggested to any member in a 12-step program that they cut ties with their healthy, sober friends. I have heard addicts and alcoholics (including me) tell untreated addicts and alcoholics that I can no longer spend time with them if they will continue to use/drink. But that isn't the same thing, is it?
You've made reference to this small town meeting in Georgia in more then one thread on SR. Have you ever been to this meeting yourself? Keep in mind that when we're new to recovery, sometimes we make things up to manipulate people in our lives.

Love,
KJ