family member of alcohol dependent parent
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 8
family member of alcohol dependent parent
Hi,
I am new and my father has had a drinking problem for a few years now. One of the worst of it started three years ago.
First let me say that he has always liked to drink moderately for years but since about 2006, he drank more and more. It was obvious to others and myself that he had a problem.
After a wedding he had so much to drink that he had to be carried to the car by friends.
This was a shocker to one of my best friends. She said she would never believe this if him of she hadn't seen it for herself.
He won't get help and he won't listen to help from the ministers in our congregation.
He won't go to counseling or AA or anything. He says he will stop and then he relapses time and time again.
He hides alcohol in the garage so we wont see his relapse but we know what is going on.
Sometimes he knows it has to stop and other times he is in denial. I don't know if he will ever come out of this. he is a very stubborn person and full of pride.
Another time he passed out on the porch and we found him that way when I came home. (I live at my parents) he acted like he didn't know me. He was either playing games or he was actually that drunk.
He stumbles and sits in stupors, eyes roll around in his head.
He is able to maintain and keep a job and rarely misses work. He has been working for the same company for 29 years and counting.
He's a good "actor". Many have no clue about this except for a few close friends and the ministers and his immediate family.
I hope he will find himself and come out of this. I know it is a disease but I don't know how to help him. He gets angry when we confront him and has had violent tendencies and threats but never carried them out.
He stil has to admit he has a problem and not let pride hold him back. Now he just hides from help, from the ministers, from any advice he gets.
He's such a selfish and self-centered person. It was not easy growing up with him even when the drinking was moderate.
Verbal abuse and that sort of yelling. Well that's my rant.
I am new and my father has had a drinking problem for a few years now. One of the worst of it started three years ago.
First let me say that he has always liked to drink moderately for years but since about 2006, he drank more and more. It was obvious to others and myself that he had a problem.
After a wedding he had so much to drink that he had to be carried to the car by friends.
This was a shocker to one of my best friends. She said she would never believe this if him of she hadn't seen it for herself.
He won't get help and he won't listen to help from the ministers in our congregation.
He won't go to counseling or AA or anything. He says he will stop and then he relapses time and time again.
He hides alcohol in the garage so we wont see his relapse but we know what is going on.
Sometimes he knows it has to stop and other times he is in denial. I don't know if he will ever come out of this. he is a very stubborn person and full of pride.
Another time he passed out on the porch and we found him that way when I came home. (I live at my parents) he acted like he didn't know me. He was either playing games or he was actually that drunk.
He stumbles and sits in stupors, eyes roll around in his head.
He is able to maintain and keep a job and rarely misses work. He has been working for the same company for 29 years and counting.
He's a good "actor". Many have no clue about this except for a few close friends and the ministers and his immediate family.
I hope he will find himself and come out of this. I know it is a disease but I don't know how to help him. He gets angry when we confront him and has had violent tendencies and threats but never carried them out.
He stil has to admit he has a problem and not let pride hold him back. Now he just hides from help, from the ministers, from any advice he gets.
He's such a selfish and self-centered person. It was not easy growing up with him even when the drinking was moderate.
Verbal abuse and that sort of yelling. Well that's my rant.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Wellcome to the Sober Recovery family!
You will find support and information here. Lots of helpful reading in the sticky posts at the top of this forum. You may also want to check out the forum for Adult Children of Addicts.
Alcoholism is a family dis-ease. It affects everyone in the family. It is also progressive. It gets worse over time.
Have you considered going to Alanon meetings? They are helpful for face to face support. One of the first things I learned through Alanon literature was not to confront and active alcoholic. It will not turn out well. The addict will twist things, deny and manipulate you into thinking things that are not true. All in effort to deny the problem is within themselves. Alanon and SR help you understand how to take care of yourself in the face of addiction.
The episode of passing out on the porch sounds like a black-out drunk. Your father's disease has progressed. He was not acting, he was black-out drunk and will not recall anything from that period of time. I'm sorry that you had to witness that in your father.
Please make yourself at home here. Read and ask questions. We care about you!
You will find support and information here. Lots of helpful reading in the sticky posts at the top of this forum. You may also want to check out the forum for Adult Children of Addicts.
Alcoholism is a family dis-ease. It affects everyone in the family. It is also progressive. It gets worse over time.
Have you considered going to Alanon meetings? They are helpful for face to face support. One of the first things I learned through Alanon literature was not to confront and active alcoholic. It will not turn out well. The addict will twist things, deny and manipulate you into thinking things that are not true. All in effort to deny the problem is within themselves. Alanon and SR help you understand how to take care of yourself in the face of addiction.
The episode of passing out on the porch sounds like a black-out drunk. Your father's disease has progressed. He was not acting, he was black-out drunk and will not recall anything from that period of time. I'm sorry that you had to witness that in your father.
Please make yourself at home here. Read and ask questions. We care about you!
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