CNMC2C

Hello all. I haven't posted in a while, but just felt like I needed to get this out in the open. As some of you might remember it has been over a year since I parted ways with the A XBF. We split in September 2008. I have succeeded in cutting him out of my life, with some backslides of keeping tabs on him via mutual friends. Other than that, there has been no contact, except for when he was trying to contact me right before he got married (he married a lady in January 2009) and a few other times...but I stayed away from him. I've been doing so good lately, really focusing on keeping the focus on myself and working on getting the help that I need for my issues. I've been blessed with the opportunity to change my life for the better, to be aware of this beautiful world that we have the priviledge of living in, and working on having the healthy, happy, weatlhy life that my Higher Power wants me to have each and every day. All was well in the world and still is....but I had a minor setback Tuesday morning. At 3AM Tuesday morning my phone rang, waking me up....it was the A XBF. I was stunned and irritated but didn't answer. Then the text start coming thru from him. He apologized for everything that he had done behind my back during our relationship and told me that it was all his fault and that he was so ashamed of the way the he disrespected me. He then explained that he wanted to apologize to my Mother whom he was real close to. I didn't respond. I just shut my phone off and went back to bed. When I woke up later yesterday morning, I texted him back and said Thank You and told him that he and his children are in my prayers. The funny thing is, as much as I thought any kind of apology from him would make me feel better....it didnt. I guess I'm no longer willing to take "anything" from anyone unless it is sincere....and I don't believe that phone calls and text messages at 3 AM in the morning are sincere. The next thing that came to my mind is his poor wife. I bet she has no clue that he is calling/texting me at 3 AM in the morning. Anyway, just had to share....I always thought any apology from him would be enough....but it's not. My standards have risen 100% in the last year. Thanks for listening. Take Care Everyone.

GiveLove

Good for you, CNMC2C.

I had a similar experience. My crazy-nasty-stalker-xabf finally apologized to me a couple of years ago (roughly five years after the fact!) and I thought it would make me feel better.

It didn't for me either. I hope he finds happiness, but I really don't want to be part of his conscience-clearing, because I too doubt that it is rooted in anything genuine.

Plus, the basketball game was on........

Hope you're doing well!

GL

Still Waters

3AM? Did he apologize for that??

Good grief.

Daisy30

Glad to see you are in a place of taking care of you.

I read a lot of great things in that post that show how far you have come. No need to answer the phone. I love that you turned it off.

You should be proud of yourself

Learn2Live

I sure don't miss the 3AM phone calls. Good for you!

URMYEVERYTHING

I agree with the other posters... if he was genuinely trying to make an attempt to make amends... it wouldn't have been done this way.

Your feelings are validated.

TakingCharge999

Is it a coincidence at 3 am most DRUNKEN people start realizing truths?

Wow, good for you for not answering!!!!!!!

Trying2Fly

My gut would wonder if he was drunk....my AS does this all the time. Good for you for turning off the phone!

trapeze

How self absorbed is it to call an ex at 3am? Like you are just sitting around wondering what's up with him. And who isn't scared when the phone rings at 3am?

Perhaps it was a gift to remind you that you are better off without him! Good for you for keeping it all in perspective.

coyote21

Let's see, bars close at 2am.

Thirty minutes to drive home drunk, extra sloooow for extra safety.

Ten or fifteen minutes alone with himself, an eternity for a drunk.

Yup, 3am makes perfect sense to me.

Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote

transformyself

CNMC2C
You sound like you really have your priorities straight! Congratulations on all the hard work! And yes, it's bizarre when you spend time really focusing on yourself creates a shift in our emotions. What you thought was critical loses its urgency. Sounds quite simply like you just don't need him anymore. Not even his apologies.

Coyote, your hilarious- and your explanation is better than mine: Nightly Cosmic Alignments

At approximatly 2:53am The Planet "Yer-Drunkest" juxtaposes with the "Need-ta-Grovel" Star, as they reach the apex of their "So-I-Can-Hate-You-Later" alignment.

Crazy4Him

YEP that seems to be their magic number! LMAO @ coyote. I'm still rather baffled at how my ex managed to spell every single word correctly when he sent me a drunk off his ass apology at.... you guessed it! 3AM. Even when he's trashed he knows his words well, gotta give him that!

Jadmack25

When ABF was on his benders, I copped text messages that ended up as scrambled egg, then the phone would ring anywhere from 11pm to 5am.

I ended up pulling the plug on both, only to have him arrive in person.
Every time that happened, I didn't answer the door, just said go home.
A few times I called the police, who drove him the half mile home.

We now both live in the same pensioner complex, and thank God he has been in recovery for 11 months, but if he makes any noise or tries to bang my door down, as he did at my other place, he knows he will lose his unit, his benefits and ME.

As for apologising to someone, by phone at 3am. GGGGRRRR!!! Kill, kill, kill.
That is not an apology, that is a damned insult.

Then again, why expect real intelligent thinking from him in that state anyway.

God bless