My children are gifts
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 273
I remember after giving birth to my first daughter thinking:
If anybody had been able to explain just how responsible I would feel for her health, safety and emotional well being that I don't think I would have chosen to have children.
I was that awestruck.
I've turned out to be a really good mom.
I know this because even though I have TWO TEENAGE DAUGHTERS
they tell me so!
I'm hardly perfect but I love them, they love me and they seem to be able to weather the storms that have come their way with grace.
Really I've learned that my job is mainly to give them the best coping skills I can because life can be hard, messy and complicated.
The joy part that is the easy part
I feel lucky!
If anybody had been able to explain just how responsible I would feel for her health, safety and emotional well being that I don't think I would have chosen to have children.
I was that awestruck.
I've turned out to be a really good mom.
I know this because even though I have TWO TEENAGE DAUGHTERS
they tell me so!I'm hardly perfect but I love them, they love me and they seem to be able to weather the storms that have come their way with grace.
Really I've learned that my job is mainly to give them the best coping skills I can because life can be hard, messy and complicated.
The joy part that is the easy part
I feel lucky!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 6,278
Originally Posted by gowest 
Really I've learned that my job is mainly to give them the best coping skills I can because life can be hard, messy and complicated.
We can't do it for them, we can only be the best example we know how to be.
L
Miracles Happen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 9,977
I agree with Freya about my children being special gifts on loan from God. I remember being at a meeting when my children were young and bringing up some problems (terrible two problems) and someone said to me that they weren't MY children, they were GOD's and he had sent them to me to nurture and love until he needed them back. I was so angry with that person saying No they were mine, I gave birth to them and they belonged to me. Well, that did sink in and I know that person was so right, they don't belong to me, I do not own them I can only love them and protect them.
These precious gifts and they are precious, from the moment I felt them move in my belly knowing there was a miracle inside me, I loved them. The day I first held my son, Oh God, only you and another parent can understand how it felt and still feel. I can't even describe it except to say I never thought I could love someone so much, my heart just explodes with joy even today when I think of that feeling. I thought I could never love another the same way, but then my daughter was born and that same feeling came back again. Those tiny fingers, toes and those beautiful faces, I inhaled these babies, I couldn't believe that I was blessed with such gifts. I treasure every moment even today with both my children. They are now 23 and 21, and Yes I am blessed, thank you God for these two priceless gifts you have trusted me to nurture and love.
These precious gifts and they are precious, from the moment I felt them move in my belly knowing there was a miracle inside me, I loved them. The day I first held my son, Oh God, only you and another parent can understand how it felt and still feel. I can't even describe it except to say I never thought I could love someone so much, my heart just explodes with joy even today when I think of that feeling. I thought I could never love another the same way, but then my daughter was born and that same feeling came back again. Those tiny fingers, toes and those beautiful faces, I inhaled these babies, I couldn't believe that I was blessed with such gifts. I treasure every moment even today with both my children. They are now 23 and 21, and Yes I am blessed, thank you God for these two priceless gifts you have trusted me to nurture and love.
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 864
Children in any sense to me are a gift...From my 4 beautiful children, to my nieces and nephews,to my grandson to their friends ... to the little ones that just engage everyone around with no fear and such an openness...I love their sense of honesty and how they view the world.
I find children in general to be the most intelligent of all people...I can only hope to have taught mine as much as they teach me.
I have wonderful memories and even more have popped up in reading what everyone has shared. I remember each of their births like is was yesterday and I hope to always have that feeling in my heart no matter how they choose to live their lives.
Someone mentioned teenagers...Deep breaths! My 17 and 19 year old girls can be a test of my patience for sure. As my now 24 year old son was when he was in active addiction...My 6 year old I can't even find words to describe...They are all so different so special and downright at times funny as all hell.
I am not naive at all to think the addiction that rocked my house did not effect them, but I can't be for sure that is was such a negative not this far down the line listening to them talk. Watching how they interact....Not something I can easily communicate with words, it is just how it feels...
I am blessed I know this for so many wonderful reason.
It has been really nice to read what everyone is this thread has shared...
Inciting Silence
I find children in general to be the most intelligent of all people...I can only hope to have taught mine as much as they teach me.
I have wonderful memories and even more have popped up in reading what everyone has shared. I remember each of their births like is was yesterday and I hope to always have that feeling in my heart no matter how they choose to live their lives.
Someone mentioned teenagers...Deep breaths! My 17 and 19 year old girls can be a test of my patience for sure. As my now 24 year old son was when he was in active addiction...My 6 year old I can't even find words to describe...They are all so different so special and downright at times funny as all hell.
I am not naive at all to think the addiction that rocked my house did not effect them, but I can't be for sure that is was such a negative not this far down the line listening to them talk. Watching how they interact....Not something I can easily communicate with words, it is just how it feels...
I am blessed I know this for so many wonderful reason.
It has been really nice to read what everyone is this thread has shared...
Inciting Silence
Optimist
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 486
Originally Posted by Believe808
I inhaled these babies
Sometimes I just give them a great big hug for a long time, breathing deeply, like I'm trying to absorb some of their life force! I read a great quote from a Tibetan Lama whose name I can't for the life of me remember, but the basic story was this: hugging was not a custom in his country of origin. But he learned to love it, and developed a little mantra he says to himself everytime he hugs someone now: "Holding this person in my arms, I know they are alive, and I am happy." I do this now every morning with my daughters, only I say it aloud to them: "Holding you in my arms, I know you are alive, and I am happy." This Lama, by the way, now makes it a point to hug all the time
Love, Daisy
:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: my own world USA
Posts: 55
Ive loved reading everyones stories related to this thread... then i read the thread someone posted about WHy do addicts even have kids...??
it was a bit harsh but i felt her pain in thinking about my sons father.. he has 6 kids,, doenst take care of any of them financially, physically, emotionally, or spiritually.
3 of us took our kids and ran for the hill but the one, broken female choose to stay and have 3 of his children is abused and as co dependant as they come.. I feel sorry for those kids having to grow up with that everyday..
I thank God I had the strength to leave..as that could have been me.. He is in active addiction, college educated but hasent worked in 6 years.. and enabled completly by his parents...==== no reason to change.....................................
I often ask my self.. WHY isnt he steralized??
Truth is as much as I hate him and his disease.. without him,, i would not have my Greatest gift... my son...
As we all sit here and talk about the unmeasurable joys of being a parent.. I cant fathum a parent NOT being there for my child.. not seeing them.. not WANTING to see them ect..
It just reinforces to me what a HENIOUS DISEASE addiction is.. it has Mercy for NO ONe!
any "THING" that could make a human being not want to be around thier child is obviously a Horrible, unimaginable power......
it was a bit harsh but i felt her pain in thinking about my sons father.. he has 6 kids,, doenst take care of any of them financially, physically, emotionally, or spiritually.
3 of us took our kids and ran for the hill but the one, broken female choose to stay and have 3 of his children is abused and as co dependant as they come.. I feel sorry for those kids having to grow up with that everyday..
I thank God I had the strength to leave..as that could have been me.. He is in active addiction, college educated but hasent worked in 6 years.. and enabled completly by his parents...==== no reason to change.....................................
I often ask my self.. WHY isnt he steralized??
Truth is as much as I hate him and his disease.. without him,, i would not have my Greatest gift... my son...
As we all sit here and talk about the unmeasurable joys of being a parent.. I cant fathum a parent NOT being there for my child.. not seeing them.. not WANTING to see them ect..
It just reinforces to me what a HENIOUS DISEASE addiction is.. it has Mercy for NO ONe!
any "THING" that could make a human being not want to be around thier child is obviously a Horrible, unimaginable power......
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 611
Wow! What a thread... thanks for this.
Children are gifts for so many reasons ........ here is the abbreviated version of how I received my gift.....
First, I am not an addict.
Second, I conceived my child after many, many, many attempts to have one through hormone treatments. It took "us" (my ex husband and I) 2 years to conceive. Through the ups and downs and emotional tug of war it finally happened! I found out on my birthday that I was pregnant with him. I kept every log, kept every ultrasound picture as I had to go every month due to me miscarrying the first child. I tracked everything during my pregnancy and still do this day.
Third, he is my ONLY child. And he is ALL I have. Even through all the choas (divorce from his father (non-addict) and the recent events with RBF), my GIFT remains. My blessing keeps me focused. Without him to be a strong figure for, I would have crumbled a long time ago.
I guess that's all I have to say about that. LOL.
Children are gifts for so many reasons ........ here is the abbreviated version of how I received my gift.....
First, I am not an addict.
Second, I conceived my child after many, many, many attempts to have one through hormone treatments. It took "us" (my ex husband and I) 2 years to conceive. Through the ups and downs and emotional tug of war it finally happened! I found out on my birthday that I was pregnant with him. I kept every log, kept every ultrasound picture as I had to go every month due to me miscarrying the first child. I tracked everything during my pregnancy and still do this day.
Third, he is my ONLY child. And he is ALL I have. Even through all the choas (divorce from his father (non-addict) and the recent events with RBF), my GIFT remains. My blessing keeps me focused. Without him to be a strong figure for, I would have crumbled a long time ago.
I guess that's all I have to say about that. LOL.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
My 3 daughters (in their 40s) and 5 grandchildren from 26 to 3 years old, have been such a joy for me. They had 20 years of stable family life before my now dead AH began his downhill slide and we seperated 5 years later.
It was my eldest girl who took on responsibility when her dad got past being capable of caring for himself, and she did it all for him for 10 years. It was a very painful and arduous task for the past 4 years, and I must admit that I have felt guilt at that, as I was his wife and it should have been me doing it, not her.
The other night she gave me a birthday card, on the front it says, "MUM, On your special day, a few words from the Stork who brought me."
Inside is, "Sorry, NO REFUNDS."
She wrote: To My Darling Mum, the short, cuddly lady who has been my rock in every rough sea, my calm in every storm and my guide thru the rocky paths of my life. I love you more than I can ever say.
Guess who needed a tissue after reading that?
At the end of this month, us "girls", including 26 year old grand-daughter, will be getting together again for a weekend away. They want to make this a bi-monthly event and I love the idea.
I remember holding my eldest after feeding and changing her, not wanting to put her down in her crib. Just sitting, holding her close and having my eyes devouring this precious and beautiful being, and praying that I would be all I needed to be for her.
I guess her lovely words have assured me that I didn't do too badly after all.
Do I wish I had not given them the father they had? Never in a million years.
He was a wonderful dad, they adored him, and loved him in spite of how he finished up. Besides, his genes and nurturing are as much a part of who they are, as is my share.
Now I need another tissue.
God bless
It was my eldest girl who took on responsibility when her dad got past being capable of caring for himself, and she did it all for him for 10 years. It was a very painful and arduous task for the past 4 years, and I must admit that I have felt guilt at that, as I was his wife and it should have been me doing it, not her.
The other night she gave me a birthday card, on the front it says, "MUM, On your special day, a few words from the Stork who brought me."
Inside is, "Sorry, NO REFUNDS."
She wrote: To My Darling Mum, the short, cuddly lady who has been my rock in every rough sea, my calm in every storm and my guide thru the rocky paths of my life. I love you more than I can ever say.
Guess who needed a tissue after reading that?
At the end of this month, us "girls", including 26 year old grand-daughter, will be getting together again for a weekend away. They want to make this a bi-monthly event and I love the idea.
I remember holding my eldest after feeding and changing her, not wanting to put her down in her crib. Just sitting, holding her close and having my eyes devouring this precious and beautiful being, and praying that I would be all I needed to be for her.
I guess her lovely words have assured me that I didn't do too badly after all.
Do I wish I had not given them the father they had? Never in a million years.
He was a wonderful dad, they adored him, and loved him in spite of how he finished up. Besides, his genes and nurturing are as much a part of who they are, as is my share.
Now I need another tissue.
God bless
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
Hey, No Fair!
Hey you guys, no fair!! 
Your stories are makin' me sad. I don't have kids!
Seriously, I never had kids because I knew I had too many issues to have them. Although... so many people have told me I would make a great mom.
So, does that count?
My kids are my brothers' kids. I have three great nephews and two beautiful nieces who I love very much and who have brought so much meaning to my otherwise empty life.
:day6 They are gifts to me because they are such happy little people. I especially loved to be with them all when they were 2 years old! Such bright, curious people who were amazed by everything they saw. They always make me smile.
I love them too because I get to "yell" at them and they KNOW I am just kidding with them. I love them because they think I am so smart just because I'm their aunt. (Fooled them, didn't I? hahahaha).
I love them also because even now that the two oldest are 14, THEY TEXT ME and tell me they love me. (I wonder if the fact that I take them shopping at the mall helps?) And the little one texts me on his mom's phone to make plans to come over and spend the night. He is my giant teddy bear.
Your stories are makin' me sad. I don't have kids!Seriously, I never had kids because I knew I had too many issues to have them. Although... so many people have told me I would make a great mom.
So, does that count?
My kids are my brothers' kids. I have three great nephews and two beautiful nieces who I love very much and who have brought so much meaning to my otherwise empty life.
:day6 They are gifts to me because they are such happy little people. I especially loved to be with them all when they were 2 years old! Such bright, curious people who were amazed by everything they saw. They always make me smile.
I love them too because I get to "yell" at them and they KNOW I am just kidding with them. I love them because they think I am so smart just because I'm their aunt. (Fooled them, didn't I? hahahaha).
I love them also because even now that the two oldest are 14, THEY TEXT ME and tell me they love me. (I wonder if the fact that I take them shopping at the mall helps?) And the little one texts me on his mom's phone to make plans to come over and spend the night. He is my giant teddy bear.
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