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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: around the riverbend in the boonedocks, USA
Posts: 56
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I have no title!! My worst fears are coming true, I guess.
First off, I've been away sick, had strep thoart, and back to work now, but not talking much!!
Last night my X called to see how I was doing. This was in the morning, I asked if he would stopped by, he never did. Called me at 5 and said he was in walmart in the town 45 min. away, then called at 8 saying he wanted to go for a bike ride, but didn't want to go into his sister's to get the key, since she was home.
He left early yesterday morning, and this morning, just cruzing around. He doesn't sound right, but when I ask him if he's drinking, he says no.
What is my gut tell me!!!! You know what my gut is telling me, He's relaspsed 3 weeks out of recovery, and I just filled out a card last night to tell him how proud I was for him hitting the 7 month sober mark!!!
Things seemed to be going good, then sunday he got bummed out, cause he realized all he owned was his station wagon, and everything else is mine, he's almost out of money, and hasn't looked for a job yet.
Last night after he said he wanted to ride his motorcycle, (and naked)!! he asked if he could maybe stop by, I said if it's in the next 15 min, cause I was going to get the kids ready for bed time, he never stopped by.
I texted him a bit ago, and told him to call his counselor, from the center, if he needed to talk to someone. I hope he's ok.
I'm really trying not to let the worry of him, run my day! It's hard though!
Guess I just needed to vent.
Thanks, and take care,
Kota
First off, I've been away sick, had strep thoart, and back to work now, but not talking much!!
Last night my X called to see how I was doing. This was in the morning, I asked if he would stopped by, he never did. Called me at 5 and said he was in walmart in the town 45 min. away, then called at 8 saying he wanted to go for a bike ride, but didn't want to go into his sister's to get the key, since she was home.
He left early yesterday morning, and this morning, just cruzing around. He doesn't sound right, but when I ask him if he's drinking, he says no.
What is my gut tell me!!!! You know what my gut is telling me, He's relaspsed 3 weeks out of recovery, and I just filled out a card last night to tell him how proud I was for him hitting the 7 month sober mark!!!
Things seemed to be going good, then sunday he got bummed out, cause he realized all he owned was his station wagon, and everything else is mine, he's almost out of money, and hasn't looked for a job yet.
Last night after he said he wanted to ride his motorcycle, (and naked)!! he asked if he could maybe stop by, I said if it's in the next 15 min, cause I was going to get the kids ready for bed time, he never stopped by.
I texted him a bit ago, and told him to call his counselor, from the center, if he needed to talk to someone. I hope he's ok.
I'm really trying not to let the worry of him, run my day! It's hard though!
Guess I just needed to vent.
Thanks, and take care,
Kota
Last edited by kotabear; 10-07-2009 at 08:30 AM.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: around the riverbend in the boonedocks, USA
Posts: 56
just need some support, I know the steps of what I need to do, to detach and to love from a distance, it just is hard, and sad thing, I never had wished this. :-(
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
:ghug3
I'm sorry you are having a rough day. I think you were smart to text him and tell him to call his counselor and then step away. Sometimes we have to just do the smart thing and wait for our emotions to catch up.
I'm sorry you are having a rough day. I think you were smart to text him and tell him to call his counselor and then step away. Sometimes we have to just do the smart thing and wait for our emotions to catch up.
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: around the riverbend in the boonedocks, USA
Posts: 56
thank you Thumper. I guess that's all I can do, say my peace, and step away for the moment. Emotions are so tuff though!!!!
Hope this day ends soon! ;-)
Hope this day ends soon! ;-)
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: around the riverbend in the boonedocks, USA
Posts: 56
He relapsed last night.
I told him, he had a choice today, and his chocie he made has consquences, and he knew that, now he has to deal with them. He is no longer welcomed at his sister that he was staying at.
He said that it showed how much we really loved him, and he was going to far away, and no one would ever see him again, and we would someday have to bury him. He was going to die.
I told him, well then if that's so, then go, you had a choice today.
Just hurt's ya know!? To love someone, and have them be this way.
I am grateful for the few weeks I had with him and soberity, it was wonderful!!!!
I'm sorry to say I never did get around to giving him that card, and I realized yesterday would have been our 9th wedding anniversary.
Have a good day all,
Kota
I told him, he had a choice today, and his chocie he made has consquences, and he knew that, now he has to deal with them. He is no longer welcomed at his sister that he was staying at.
He said that it showed how much we really loved him, and he was going to far away, and no one would ever see him again, and we would someday have to bury him. He was going to die.
I told him, well then if that's so, then go, you had a choice today.
Just hurt's ya know!? To love someone, and have them be this way.
I am grateful for the few weeks I had with him and soberity, it was wonderful!!!!
I'm sorry to say I never did get around to giving him that card, and I realized yesterday would have been our 9th wedding anniversary.
Have a good day all,
Kota
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
(((kota)))
I'm sorry.
We want to see our loved ones sober, recovered, healthy. You had a glimpse of that with him. He may try again in the future, but like you said, it is his choice.
What will you do for YOU today? Paint your toenails, manicure, bubble bath, etc., do something loving for yourself today. You are worth it!
I'm sorry.
We want to see our loved ones sober, recovered, healthy. You had a glimpse of that with him. He may try again in the future, but like you said, it is his choice.
What will you do for YOU today? Paint your toenails, manicure, bubble bath, etc., do something loving for yourself today. You are worth it!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: around the riverbend in the boonedocks, USA
Posts: 56
well since it's raining, no overtime, so I'm going to go visit my sister-n-law, and let the kids play. Then home for breakfast for supper!!! Relax in some comfortable clothes, and watch tv, do homework, and most important thing
Love those 2 little girls!!!!!
For being 5 and 3, they have seen and know so much. My 3 year old asked me this morning, is daddy going to die, cause he's drinking again?..... we had a long/short talk, about it before daycare this morning.
Love those 2 little girls!!!!!
For being 5 and 3, they have seen and know so much. My 3 year old asked me this morning, is daddy going to die, cause he's drinking again?..... we had a long/short talk, about it before daycare this morning.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: around the riverbend in the boonedocks, USA
Posts: 56
My best friend.... is struggling with her marriage.... said to me today.
that which does not kill us makes us stronger and hopefully well never have to bear more then we can handle
it's true. Yet I'm still hurting.... when he drinks, it just bums me out!!! I want to have a "love" of someone so much that is healthy.
Just need a hug...
Thanks for listening,
Kota
that which does not kill us makes us stronger and hopefully well never have to bear more then we can handle
it's true. Yet I'm still hurting.... when he drinks, it just bums me out!!! I want to have a "love" of someone so much that is healthy.
Just need a hug...
Thanks for listening,
Kota
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