Trying2Fly

I have made a positive decision--to go to an in-person Al-Anon meeting tomorrow. Any advice? Do I have to talk? Can I just sit and listen? What can I expect? Thanks.

AlwaysGrowing

Awesome decision!
Expect nothing,,, but you might find some others who are or have been what you are going thru.
Yes you can talk.

intheknow

I just went to my first meeting last nite. I was scared...but it was great. Not a single person there will judge you, not a single person there will make you feel as though you don't belong.

Everyone in the group is trying to figure out their own life, just like you.

Good luck!

Jadmack25

Hope you get all you need from this group, and that you will soon be FLYING.

God bless

Pelican

Peacefulness

Acceptance

Love

You don't have to say a word. I was a basketcase of emotions at my first 2 meetings. All I could say was my name during introductions. Anything more and I would have erupted into sobs. I sat there and listened. They welcomed me and encouraged me to keep coming back.

Bernadette

Good for you!
You can talk if you like or don;t say a word - it's always up to you.
I couldn't talk at the first few meetings I went to because I was crying the whole time!

But what a HUGE weight I felt lifted.

It was like I thought I was the only martian living on this foreign planet and then I finally found a group of fellow martians who spoke my language. And suddenly it wasn't the end of the world that I was green and had seven eyes! Everything was finally gonna be OK.

Good luck-
peace-
b

kptsj

Thgis is a great site and I applaud you going to a meeting. I have been looking for a site like this for a long time. Not even sure how I stumbled on it. But, it is wonderful to have other people that have been through the same stuff. It helps me just to read the threads . Trying2fly, I am sending all my good thoughts your way.

spinner

I was like Bernadette - I cried the whole time during my first meeting. At the end several people gave me hugs and their phone numbers.

I cried every time I went to a meeting for about 2 years I think. It's just from knowing you aren't alone and no one will judge you for being with an alcoholic. What a relief!

Spinner

Trying2Fly

Feeling a little mad at myself; I couldn't bring myself to go. I went on a long bike ride and felt great. OK--was all set. And then the fear set in. I told myself that I was tired, that 8 PM was too late, that I just wanted to relax. And now I feel mad at myself. I'll try next week...

intheknow

It is hard, and the closer it gets to meeting time the harder it gets. But you will thank yourself over and over again for just going. Trust me.

Everyone there is hurting - some A spouses, some A kids, some A friends - and for an hour we all come together in our grief and our tears and try to take positive messages and learn to love ourselves.

Here is what Al-Anon is for me, in a nutshell...

After a while you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn't mean possession
and company doesn't mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises and you begin to accept
your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of an adult not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build your roads today
because tomorrows ground is too uncertain
for plans and futures have ways of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul instead of waiting
for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn and you learn
with every goodbye you learn

Written by Veronica A. Shoffstall

GiveLove

that's beautiful, Mellane. Thanks for sharing it this morning...I needed to hear it!