Tasting freedom
aka Glenna :)
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Jupiter, Florida
Posts: 280
Tasting freedom
After a series of events over the weekend that could only have been directed by the grace of God, I made the decision today to go down to the courthouse and file for divorce from the piece of human garbage called AH.
Amazingly, it turned out that my original divorce case from 2008 was still pending and was just about to be dismissed. It cost me $1.30 to open it back up and file a motion for a hearing. Believe me, he was worth every penny.
I have no doubt that my HP has my back and will keep me strong during the moments I feel vulnerable, and I know that you guys will do the same.
Divorce is never a happy occasion, but I am so friggin' grateful to now be able to see the truth that was in front of my eyes all along, that he is a truly sick individual, ugly as hell on the inside, who never has and never will bring me anything but pain and suffering. I would rather be alone the rest of my life than spend one more second worrying about him.
Grateful to God for clarity and strength today.
Amazingly, it turned out that my original divorce case from 2008 was still pending and was just about to be dismissed. It cost me $1.30 to open it back up and file a motion for a hearing. Believe me, he was worth every penny.
I have no doubt that my HP has my back and will keep me strong during the moments I feel vulnerable, and I know that you guys will do the same.
Divorce is never a happy occasion, but I am so friggin' grateful to now be able to see the truth that was in front of my eyes all along, that he is a truly sick individual, ugly as hell on the inside, who never has and never will bring me anything but pain and suffering. I would rather be alone the rest of my life than spend one more second worrying about him.
Grateful to God for clarity and strength today.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Sometimes HP has to get in our face and say "NOW do you believe I'm out here?"
You're doing SO great, Glenna. Big hugs to you to keep on this track. There is a better life waiting for you.
You're doing SO great, Glenna. Big hugs to you to keep on this track. There is a better life waiting for you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
Believe me, he was worth every penny.
I needed a belly laugh today so badly, and you sent me one wrapped in a bow!!!
Here is something else your HP has done today. No only did He get you to the courthouse right on time to catch the pretty little $1.03, but then He got you here to share where it brought someone who really needed a little bit of joy in an otherwise c**ptastic day.
Thank you!!!
Alice
I needed a belly laugh today so badly, and you sent me one wrapped in a bow!!!
Here is something else your HP has done today. No only did He get you to the courthouse right on time to catch the pretty little $1.03, but then He got you here to share where it brought someone who really needed a little bit of joy in an otherwise c**ptastic day.
Thank you!!!
Alice
aka Glenna :)
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Jupiter, Florida
Posts: 280
Feeling so grateful this morning. I have been given a wonderful gift of clarity, and with it comes so many other blessings that outweigh any pain I might feel about the end of my marriage. Rather than a feeling of failure, like I expected, I have a sense that I have been set free to finally grow and be the person God always meant for me to be.
I never again have to tolerate being called bad names: unstable, ignorant, stupid, etc.
I never again have to look into my children's eyes and feel guilty because AH is still in my life after all the pain he caused them.
I don't have to worry about what he's doing, who he's seeing, what bad things he is saying about me behind my back, whether he's telling the truth.
I don't have to pretend to agree with his warped sense of self and his shallowness.
I can live with honesty and integrity now, not needing to keep my stories straight so nobody finds out I am still seeing him. My heart and my head are working together for the first time in years--no conflicts.
I realize it's not my job (and never was) to save him, heal him, support him or make him see the light. I can worry about my own self and my children and not waste a single drop of energy making sure he's okay. I am not responsible for him in any way.
I don't have to lose money by driving him around, giving him loans or buying him meals.
I don't have to let his every word make or break me. He doesn't have that power anymore. I don't have to leave his place with the feeling of shame and self-loathing or show up at his place not even knowing what I'm doing there.
I can feel self-respect for the first time and even be proud of myself. I can feel like I am worth something and not just an extension of him.
There are several messages from him on my phone right now, but I have no desire to listen to them. I know there is no new information in them. I have decided, since I can't change my number, just to let my voice mailbox fill up so no more messages can be left.
I'm sure there will be moments when I feel vulnerable, but I just have to ride them out, as they will pass. I wouldn't want to trade my newfound sense of strength and integrity for anything, and I never want to turn back again and drown in the sickness.
I have asked his family, including his ex-wife, not to speak of him to me and to find something else to talk about. His ex says she doesn't know if she can do it, so if that means I need to take her out of my life for a while, then it's for the best. It will become clear whether our relationship is based on anything else anyway.
Thanks for listening.
I never again have to tolerate being called bad names: unstable, ignorant, stupid, etc.
I never again have to look into my children's eyes and feel guilty because AH is still in my life after all the pain he caused them.
I don't have to worry about what he's doing, who he's seeing, what bad things he is saying about me behind my back, whether he's telling the truth.
I don't have to pretend to agree with his warped sense of self and his shallowness.
I can live with honesty and integrity now, not needing to keep my stories straight so nobody finds out I am still seeing him. My heart and my head are working together for the first time in years--no conflicts.
I realize it's not my job (and never was) to save him, heal him, support him or make him see the light. I can worry about my own self and my children and not waste a single drop of energy making sure he's okay. I am not responsible for him in any way.
I don't have to lose money by driving him around, giving him loans or buying him meals.
I don't have to let his every word make or break me. He doesn't have that power anymore. I don't have to leave his place with the feeling of shame and self-loathing or show up at his place not even knowing what I'm doing there.
I can feel self-respect for the first time and even be proud of myself. I can feel like I am worth something and not just an extension of him.
There are several messages from him on my phone right now, but I have no desire to listen to them. I know there is no new information in them. I have decided, since I can't change my number, just to let my voice mailbox fill up so no more messages can be left.
I'm sure there will be moments when I feel vulnerable, but I just have to ride them out, as they will pass. I wouldn't want to trade my newfound sense of strength and integrity for anything, and I never want to turn back again and drown in the sickness.
I have asked his family, including his ex-wife, not to speak of him to me and to find something else to talk about. His ex says she doesn't know if she can do it, so if that means I need to take her out of my life for a while, then it's for the best. It will become clear whether our relationship is based on anything else anyway.
Thanks for listening.
Being Me for the first time
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Wishek, North Dakota
Posts: 1,160
WOW .................. WOW ................... WOW .............. ( standing up clapping ) talk bout your growth spurts.
What a change in you Cath , you should be way proud of your self , Things do change if you do something about them and your showing that in your actions , takin a step and doing what you need to do for you .. BRAVO BRAVO "" ...
Keep up the great work , stay strong and .. could yah hug your new sober friends for me . ~ huggles Endzy ~
Ps. dont forget bout us over in sept now missy
mite add.. you made me cry readin your post
What a change in you Cath , you should be way proud of your self , Things do change if you do something about them and your showing that in your actions , takin a step and doing what you need to do for you .. BRAVO BRAVO "" ...
Keep up the great work , stay strong and .. could yah hug your new sober friends for me . ~ huggles Endzy ~
Ps. dont forget bout us over in sept now missy
mite add.. you made me cry readin your post
aka Glenna :)
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Jupiter, Florida
Posts: 280
Awww....Endzy, would never forget about my Sept. friends. I am blessed to have all of you there as well as everyone here. Like I mentioned, I do still have my weak moments, but know that God is strong where I am not.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
I have asked his family, including his ex-wife, not to speak of him to me and to find something else to talk about. His ex says she doesn't know if she can do it, so if that means I need to take her out of my life for a while, then it's for the best. It will become clear whether our relationship is based on anything else anyway.
I am so excited for you and this new chapter in your life, hon! :ghug2
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