Redheadsusie

Is this typical behavior? I have asked the man literally for months maybe years to talk to me about our problems - he says I always have problems- I love them. WTH? I tell him you can't curse someone out - call them a worthless piece of crap and then wake up and act like everything is fine which is what he does. He talked to me about 10 minutes today and I tell him I have responsibility too in all of this but we are not happy - He deserves to be happy as I do and I am not the one for him. I fully respect that. Of course he tells me I am going to leave and he can't afford the house (duh- when you barely work you can't afford squat that is when I am useful to him) I say - Fine - I will stay - I can afford the house - you go. He says I am not kicking him out of his house. Unless I am an idiot- which according to him I am -He does not like either option. We live on the water - He says he already has a house on the water- his parents- I say then- great go live there (at 46 - let them deal with his drunk high ass) . How pathetic a 46 year old man says his parents house is his. He then says I don't have to discuss this - I am going on the boat (to drink and smoke) and the dance continues...................... I hate him.

Learn2Live

Yes.

To HIM, this is TRUE. This is how he thinks. Do you think he will EVER listen and give you what you want in this relationship? It sounds to me like you do have a problem and he doesn't care to help you "fix" that problem.

Yes he can and he apparently does, has done, and will continue to do. Is it that you want him to think differently? It doesn't sound like he wants to agree with you or think differently about how he is relating to you, very sorry to say.
Sounds very familiar to me. Is his name Dave by the way?

Stop dancing. Hate him for a couple days and then try to see him as a human being who appears rather sick and who is incapable of maintaining a healthy, satisfactory relationship with others.

Freedom1990

So he doesn't like either option...big deal.

Who says he has to like either option?

There are legal ways to get him out of the house if that is what you want.

It takes two to dance the tango, the waltz, or the insanity of active alcoholism.

You do have the choice of walking off of the dance floor.

:ghug2

Redheadsusie

You are all absolutely correct. I don't know why I am so scared. Must be the Child of Alcoholics thing and my own co -dependency. Truly pathetic on my part when I think about it. Thanks for your words of wisdom.

Freedom1990

You are not pathetic, my dear! What are you doing for yourself to address those issues? Recovery is possible for us codies too!

LaTeeDa

It seems to be you are BOTH waiting for the other to DO something. The standoff will continue until ONE of you decides to do something for yourself.

L