Learn2Live

Sorry for the broad stroke Harley; my painting abilities are limited LOL. After I personally got sober, I did A LOT to change my life, but I'm still as weird as ever :O) You are so right! The person has to want to change. But if the person DOES want to change, he or she can do so with or without my butt in the picture. The two particular crack cocaine addicts in my life, however, appear not to have changed so much that I personally want them in my life again. Perhaps alcoholism is different from such serious drug addiction?

intheknow

Got first letter today from him...it says "it's (rehab) like laying the first stone back to building our relationship the way I want it to be..."

What about what I wanted our relationship to be for the last 20 years? Does this anger and hurt ever go away?

Learn2Live

Yes, it goes away. But HIS recovery is NOT about laying a foundation for your relationship. His recovery is about laying the foundation for HIMSELF and HIS life.

mermaidgirl

"I just want the life I dreamed about all those years ago, before I married him. "

I can so relate to this feeling...and that life? The one you want? It still exists...but no one is going to get it for you. And that life-the one that you fit into like a glove-is the one that will allow you to be yourself...and to be happy in that skin-the one you belong in.

intheknow

I just keep thinking that rehab only changes the alcoholism, it does not change the core person. My head and my heart tell me its the core person that I don't love anymore, and the alcoholism compounded it.

Daisy30

I have had that thought many times, I still struggle with this