Today
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 247
Today
Seems like there are so many things I want to say to my husband right now, but I took him to rehab today and haven't heard from him. So for what it is worth, here are those things...
Today I cried for me...and not for you and your disease. I cried because I hurt, not because you are hurting.
Today I watched you go...and felt a sense of relief that you are gone. Maybe I really didn't believe that you would get on the plane to go. Even if it is only for a little while, you are not here with me.
Today I cleaned...and put away all the little reminders of you. For once, this is not about you. Your closet doors are closed, your clothes are put away, all the little things you leave out aren't here right now.
Today I told your kids that I loved them...and felt a profound sense of what that really means. I know that I have to love myself for them, and for me.
Today I decided that this is a journey...and it is ok that there is no plan for how it is all going to work out. You focus on you, and I will focus on me, and we will both be better people because of it.
And for all of you on here,
Today I met some wonderful people who have been there, and care about each other, and who are going to help me get thru this. I am so greatful I found you.
Today I cried for me...and not for you and your disease. I cried because I hurt, not because you are hurting.
Today I watched you go...and felt a sense of relief that you are gone. Maybe I really didn't believe that you would get on the plane to go. Even if it is only for a little while, you are not here with me.
Today I cleaned...and put away all the little reminders of you. For once, this is not about you. Your closet doors are closed, your clothes are put away, all the little things you leave out aren't here right now.
Today I told your kids that I loved them...and felt a profound sense of what that really means. I know that I have to love myself for them, and for me.
Today I decided that this is a journey...and it is ok that there is no plan for how it is all going to work out. You focus on you, and I will focus on me, and we will both be better people because of it.
And for all of you on here,
Today I met some wonderful people who have been there, and care about each other, and who are going to help me get thru this. I am so greatful I found you.
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Carrollton TX
Posts: 466
Hi Mellane - I think that is beautiful! I'm glad you posted those things out here to share with all of us, thank you for that - we can all use reminders of those things. So even though you didn't get to share it with him, I am grateful you shared it with us 
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Washington State
Posts: 75
You are going through so much right now, and your clear focus on what you have and what you are grateful for are amazing.
I hope the upcoming month is peaceful. Maybe in this time apart you will be able to catch your breath, regain some persepective, and love what is loveable in your life right now. I'm sorry for your pain, but I think a lot of people here know what you mean by that sense of releif that you can focus on yourself, and how you feel. You're in my thoughts.
Today I decided that this is a journey...and it is ok that there is no plan for how it is all going to work out. You focus on you, and I will focus on me, and we will both be better people because of it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: where the streets have no name
Posts: 1,078
Mellane, I am happy and sad and proud of you. I have felt all those emotions and also cried. Unlike you, despite praying I have not seen my aw get beyond denial and seek sobriety in any shape or form. There really IS a human being inside that body once the alcohol and its effects are remedied.
So I am happy for your family and I hope rehab will be of benefit.
Big hug
So I am happy for your family and I hope rehab will be of benefit.
Big hug
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