worthyoflove

My AF mentioned that my daughter told him that she had a lot of fun with her AF years ago. We haven't seen him in 9 years. He never paid child support, which was fine. I'd rather have peace. My AF goes on to tell me that I could probably get a boatload of money since he hasn't paid anything in 9 years. I spoke with my daughter and she never said she had fun with her AF to my Dad. I don't know what he is up to, but I don't like it. I feel like I have to put a mirror on my shoulder cause you never know what's coming next.

sailorjohn

May help to regard active alcoholics as being insane. You wouldn't expect to understand the ravings of someone with an organic mental illness, would you?

GiveLove

Agreed, worthy. An alcoholic lied to you? Say it ain't so
Assuming alcoholics are cuckoo has helped me a lot. I just don't take their sh** seriously any more. Maybe not awfulize about this until there's actually something to worry about?

dothi

IME with an AF, scheming about "easy" money comes up often, as though there's some easier life just around the corner. Going through your daughter is a typical, passive-aggressive behavior. It's blatant "white lies" which I'm sure your AF feels justified telling since really he's doing it "for your benefit" (... which is inevitably his benefit, which is a whole other train of irrational thinking)

Like the others have said, it's not worth trying to rationally understand the musings of a chemically irrational person. You know in your heart that even if you called him on the lie, he would have an excuse for why your reality isn't what you say it is. (e.g. he could be quoting something from years ago, he could say he misheard and turn this on you as attacking him for an innocent mistake, etc.) Push come to shove, it's not worth your energy to unravel.

As for that rearview mirror on your shoulder. As long as you and your daughter are on the same page, you won't need it. Just make sure she knows that insanity can be contagious

worthyoflove

I fall for this stuff every time. It really makes you feel like you are going crazy.

Jadmack25

Precisely why they do it. Because it WORKS so darn well, and I think they get a high from just watching us get more bewildered, muddled and thinking WE are going ga ga.

Of course while we are in this manic state, we are perfect targets for them to fire more flaming arrows of blame and accusation at.

Best of all, while we are kept busy wondering about our sanity and dodging the arrows, we aren't looking at THEM, and they can keep on doing as they want to.

Sneaky little critters, aren't they?

God bless

intheknow

I needed to hear this today. Thank you!

Seren

Perhaps the old routine of:

"Oh, really"
"I'll have to think about that"
"Mmmmhmmm...."

Then, walk away and forget the craziness. I've got to agree with GL....try not to spend your time waiting for the other shoe to fall!

Hugs, HG