he's raging at me and refusing to pay me

Old 09-24-2009, 03:06 PM
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I Love Who I Am
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he's raging at me and refusing to pay me

I'm so screwed. AH has been raging at me today, both times that I talked to him. I just hang up.

He's been giving me money out of each check since we seperated Sept 1. Made a commitment (I know I know). We were sharing my car until he got his fixed on Monday, at which time he asked me to call my landlord and ask to pay her Oct 2 when he gets paid. Asked me to loan him $100.

Today he said he wasn't going to be able to pay me back or give me the full amount next paycheck because he has so many bills. I said you should have thought this through before asking me to give you money and postpone my rent.

Then he started screaming at me about when are you going to become self sufficient? I just hung up the phone. What the hell is wrong with him?

I do have a job, I am self employed and am working to become self sufficient. I can't go get a job, what at a gas station? I make more money writing than anything else.

Agh. Back to work...
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Old 09-24-2009, 03:09 PM
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Maybe it's time to get something more formal and legally binding than a "commitment." Have you consulted an attorney?

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Old 09-24-2009, 03:23 PM
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Having had a little experience with this, there is nothing more worthless than the promises of an active alcoholic/addict, as LTD suggested, you might consider taking formal legal steps to protect yourself. In Michigan, the paperwork you need to get child/spousal support can be filed without an attorney.
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Old 09-24-2009, 05:44 PM
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Well, he emailed me this long horrible email about everything he's paid for, how do I expect him to live, etc. I went to yoga and am considerably calmer. Lets see, on the way tho after reading his email, I thought about texting him: I hate you, this is why we're getting divorced, F*&^ you keep your money and a bazillion other nasty things. I just wanted to strangle him.

But instead I went to yoga and worked hard. Now I need to work harder and earn more money, it's true. And let go of what a worthless lying selfish pig he is. Oh, did I say that out loud?

I have the divorce papers still from when I filed last August when he was living with the skank. Before I let him come home. When I asked my attorney (which I do not have money for now for sure) to withdraw the papers, she said, "keep them."

In michigan, friend of the court won't place or enforce child payments unless you've filed.

I guess I should seriously consider this, all though then I will lose my discount card where he works and we buy a bulk of the groceris, and my insurance.

When I called my sister and told her what he had done, she said, good thing you're not living with him.
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Old 09-26-2009, 06:07 AM
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I know a person that prior to alcoholism was the most reliable, trustworthy, honest, person you'd ever want to know. After alcoholism developed that person borrow money from a string of friends, then moved to another state.

Lying and deception is simply what they do. The brain is chemically poisoned and thinking is perverted.

Try not to take is personally (hard to do I know) but much better for you when you learn to let it go.
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Old 09-26-2009, 07:19 AM
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Legally, he can't take you off of the insurance until your divorce is final. I don't know about the discount card where he works, but, benefits remain in place until a divorce is final.

Sadly, a formal agreement regarding money, vistation, etc, almost always needs to be in place. Emotions run high and low during these times. No matter what anyones intentions are to begin with, money, etc. ends up being a weapon, is used as a punishment. With no formal agreement in place, it just ends up in a mess.
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