If You Need A Laugh
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
If You Need A Laugh
One of the last few times I caught AH lying about going to see his affair partner, I posted this on craigslist, anonymously of course.
It was flagged and removed pretty quickly, but not before I got some interesting responses. Mainly other women laughing and thanking me.
today I'm detaching with love, not filled with hatred but when I look back on this I'm proud. It's a good piece of writing if nothing else.
Enjoy!
Title: (free stuff) Cheating Husband
Very handsome, very muscular and very sexy. Very charming. Great in the sack. Gets so drunk he throws up out the car window. Screws homewreckers he meets at work. Brilliantly turns everything around on you until you wonder why you were mad in the first place or how you screwed up.
Pretends to care about your feelings until you really need him, then he ridicules you for being needy. Makes you feel crazy for being insecure. Screws homewreckers he meets through his friends.
Free. Available immediately. You haul.
It was flagged and removed pretty quickly, but not before I got some interesting responses. Mainly other women laughing and thanking me.
today I'm detaching with love, not filled with hatred but when I look back on this I'm proud. It's a good piece of writing if nothing else.
Enjoy!
Title: (free stuff) Cheating Husband
Very handsome, very muscular and very sexy. Very charming. Great in the sack. Gets so drunk he throws up out the car window. Screws homewreckers he meets at work. Brilliantly turns everything around on you until you wonder why you were mad in the first place or how you screwed up.
Pretends to care about your feelings until you really need him, then he ridicules you for being needy. Makes you feel crazy for being insecure. Screws homewreckers he meets through his friends.
Free. Available immediately. You haul.
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
Alice, was it flagged and removed? It's still here. And I"m reading it.
I'm honestly confused. Should it tell me specifically something? Cause if this is unacceptable material for posting here, I didn't know and apologize.
I'm honestly confused. Should it tell me specifically something? Cause if this is unacceptable material for posting here, I didn't know and apologize.
jimbo
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: london berks England
Posts: 426
Originally Posted by transformyself 
Alice, was it flagged and removed? It's still here. And I"m reading it.
I'm honestly confused. Should it tell me specifically something? Cause if this is unacceptable material for posting here, I didn't know and apologize.
I'm honestly confused. Should it tell me specifically something? Cause if this is unacceptable material for posting here, I didn't know and apologize.
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
Oh Bald Jim got in trouble and not me? What a relief. I'm usually the one catching h*** for doing something without thinking. Whadja do Jim? 
I thought my thread was removed, but could read it and was baffled.
Sorry if i offended you Jim. That was just an angry response to keeping myself in a painful situation.
Got out though. Removed the symptoms, working on the cause--ME!
I thought my thread was removed, but could read it and was baffled.
Sorry if i offended you Jim. That was just an angry response to keeping myself in a painful situation.
Got out though. Removed the symptoms, working on the cause--ME!
jimbo
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: london berks England
Posts: 426
Originally Posted by transformyself
Oh Bald Jim got in trouble and not me? What a relief. I'm usually the one catching h*** for doing something without thinking. Whadja do Jim?
I thought my thread was removed, but could read it and was baffled.
Sorry if i offended you Jim. That was just an angry response to keeping myself in a painful situation.
Got out though. Removed the symptoms, working on the cause--ME!
I thought my thread was removed, but could read it and was baffled.
Sorry if i offended you Jim. That was just an angry response to keeping myself in a painful situation.
Got out though. Removed the symptoms, working on the cause--ME!
i only open my mouth to put the other foot in too
nice to meet you
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
I was referring to your mention in your original post that your Craigslist Ad was flagged and removed. I wasn't being sarcastic at all. I thought the fact that it was removed would be a hint that the ad was inappropriate in that venue regardless of it's gratification.
My wow comment was because I thought it packed quite a punch against your AH. You can argue till the cows come home that his betrayal and lies are wrong, and I would agree with you. I don't agree that an ad on Craigslist in rebuttle speaks highly of you or your recovery.
I call BS on that one, sorry.
Alice
My wow comment was because I thought it packed quite a punch against your AH. You can argue till the cows come home that his betrayal and lies are wrong, and I would agree with you. I don't agree that an ad on Craigslist in rebuttle speaks highly of you or your recovery.
I call BS on that one, sorry.
Alice
Last edited by ItsmeAlice; 09-22-2009 at 11:35 AM. Reason: Typed EX out of habit. Changed to AH
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
Well Alice, you and I will have to agree to disagree on most things I guess.
I wasn't recovering when I wrote that and am unsure still of what my own recovery means in the context of this website. But I'll figure it out.
I challenge you to examine your motive of "calling BS" on someones, anyones, post. Is this a place where folks "call each other out?" Does that mean you think I"m full of BS? Or is that a term I"m just not familiar with, like quacking?
If you calling BS means what I think it does, whatever helpful information you're trying to convey to me is lost.. Most people can't hear a message when it's delivered with name calling, and we're all ready a bunch of damaged souls.
I guess I'll just learn to ignore it. To me it's contradictory to actually helping anyone.
If I disagree with someone else's path, words, or situation, or think they're full of BS, there's no way I would "call it" publicly like this. I may think they should change their ways, I may even take that person aside or send a pm offering suggestions. Kindly. But why would you call BS on me?
Sorry, to me it's a power trip disguised as something else.
I wasn't recovering when I wrote that and am unsure still of what my own recovery means in the context of this website. But I'll figure it out.
I challenge you to examine your motive of "calling BS" on someones, anyones, post. Is this a place where folks "call each other out?" Does that mean you think I"m full of BS? Or is that a term I"m just not familiar with, like quacking?
If you calling BS means what I think it does, whatever helpful information you're trying to convey to me is lost.. Most people can't hear a message when it's delivered with name calling, and we're all ready a bunch of damaged souls.
I guess I'll just learn to ignore it. To me it's contradictory to actually helping anyone.
If I disagree with someone else's path, words, or situation, or think they're full of BS, there's no way I would "call it" publicly like this. I may think they should change their ways, I may even take that person aside or send a pm offering suggestions. Kindly. But why would you call BS on me?
Sorry, to me it's a power trip disguised as something else.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Originally Posted by ItsmeAlice
I don't agree that an ad on Craigslist in rebuttle speaks highly of you or your recovery.
I call BS on that one, sorry.
Alice
I call BS on that one, sorry.
Alice
Many feel that is how everyone handles major losses in their life, notice the anger part. As long as someone isn't wallowing in a stage for too long, I don't see how being angry at the ex is unhealthy or indicative of a someone not recovering.
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
Thank you SJ for reminding me of these stages. for me, they happen on both a micro and macrocosm level. I can cycle through all of those in one day! But i also noticed an approximate 6 month cycle after discovery of his affair April 08.
For a good 6 months I was in shock/denial. By September I was crying horrible every day, unsufferably sad. At the new year I was so angry I couldn't control myself unless i did yoga 5 times a week. Of course, he also broke no contact with her in March, which is when I wrote this ad.
If he'd asked to come home one year after discovery of the affair, rather than five months when I was still in shock and bargaining, I would have laughed at him.
The process it fascinating, really, when I step back and observe it.
For a good 6 months I was in shock/denial. By September I was crying horrible every day, unsufferably sad. At the new year I was so angry I couldn't control myself unless i did yoga 5 times a week. Of course, he also broke no contact with her in March, which is when I wrote this ad.
If he'd asked to come home one year after discovery of the affair, rather than five months when I was still in shock and bargaining, I would have laughed at him.
The process it fascinating, really, when I step back and observe it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
I challenge you to examine your motive of "calling BS" on someones, anyones, post. Is this a place where folks "call each other out?" Does that mean you think I"m full of BS? Or is that a term I"m just not familiar with, like quacking?
Calling BS was not on you as person. I apologize as clearly it was taken that way. No, in calling BS, I meant I was calling a foul, like a referree in a sporting event or calling someone's bluff in poker. My opinion is that I wouldn't have been proud of placing such an ad, but shocked that my anger drove me to such behavior. Other opinions are healthy to hear. It may not be what you want to hear, but they make you think in ways you hadn't before. That is why the saying "Take what you want and leave the rest" is said frequently around here.
I think you let your anger get away from you that was destructive to you and your recovery. Now, I was unaware that this was before you sought recovery.
Looking back at unhealthy crazy making pre recovery when faced with an alcoholic partner and laughing at it is certainly healthy. It's a sign of growth. Maybe if your post noted that this was pre recovery I would have picked up on that.
I don't see how being angry at the ex is unhealthy or indicative of a someone not recovering.
John, I entirely agree, and I have vented here on SR many a time myself and will go right along with wishing ill on someone when it is just wishing.
Where I guess I see the difference in this case is that unlike venting in the halls of a recovery forum or journalling it for your own use or writing it in a letter that is never mailed just seems a lot less like slander than putting it out on in a Classified Ad for others to laugh at the husband.
The ad was removed by Craigslist quickly for a reason. That's probably best, they can be traced back to the original poster as they are separated and not divorced, that could backfire badly. I agree with Craigslist that it wasn't the venue for that.
I think it would have been appropriate to place the ad as a thread here on SR, and I would have responded to her anger spent with support and humor and a "hang in there girl." I might have even placed an SR ad myself for an aging codependent (ME)who is currently in need of hostages.
Alice
Calling BS was not on you as person. I apologize as clearly it was taken that way. No, in calling BS, I meant I was calling a foul, like a referree in a sporting event or calling someone's bluff in poker. My opinion is that I wouldn't have been proud of placing such an ad, but shocked that my anger drove me to such behavior. Other opinions are healthy to hear. It may not be what you want to hear, but they make you think in ways you hadn't before. That is why the saying "Take what you want and leave the rest" is said frequently around here.
I think you let your anger get away from you that was destructive to you and your recovery. Now, I was unaware that this was before you sought recovery.
Looking back at unhealthy crazy making pre recovery when faced with an alcoholic partner and laughing at it is certainly healthy. It's a sign of growth. Maybe if your post noted that this was pre recovery I would have picked up on that.
I don't see how being angry at the ex is unhealthy or indicative of a someone not recovering.
John, I entirely agree, and I have vented here on SR many a time myself and will go right along with wishing ill on someone when it is just wishing.
Where I guess I see the difference in this case is that unlike venting in the halls of a recovery forum or journalling it for your own use or writing it in a letter that is never mailed just seems a lot less like slander than putting it out on in a Classified Ad for others to laugh at the husband.
The ad was removed by Craigslist quickly for a reason. That's probably best, they can be traced back to the original poster as they are separated and not divorced, that could backfire badly. I agree with Craigslist that it wasn't the venue for that.
I think it would have been appropriate to place the ad as a thread here on SR, and I would have responded to her anger spent with support and humor and a "hang in there girl." I might have even placed an SR ad myself for an aging codependent (ME)who is currently in need of hostages.
Alice
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Originally Posted by ItsmeAlice
[B]
Where I guess I see the difference in this case is that unlike venting in the halls of a recovery forum or journalling it for your own use or writing it in a letter that is never mailed just seems a lot less like slander than putting it out on in a Classified Ad for others to laugh at the husband.
The ad was removed by Craigslist quickly for a reason. That's probably best, they can be traced back to the original poster as they are separated and not divorced, that could backfire badly. I agree with Craigslist that it wasn't the venue for that.
Alice
Where I guess I see the difference in this case is that unlike venting in the halls of a recovery forum or journalling it for your own use or writing it in a letter that is never mailed just seems a lot less like slander than putting it out on in a Classified Ad for others to laugh at the husband.
The ad was removed by Craigslist quickly for a reason. That's probably best, they can be traced back to the original poster as they are separated and not divorced, that could backfire badly. I agree with Craigslist that it wasn't the venue for that.
Alice
Slander is defined as a 'false and malicious statement' and based on what I've read, nothing the op wrote in the ad was false. May have been malicious, but probably not false.
If I had to guess, craigslist flagged the ad because it wasn't a legitimate ad, they wouldn't need any other reason to do so.
Now we could debate all day long about how healthy or unhealthy anger is in our relationships with the addicts-current and former-in our lives, but myself, I feel we each have to find our own paths, and we should all be here to offer support and love to each other.
Might sound kind of corny, and I know I'm not exactly a poster child for this as I have been a little harsh with folks here from time to time, but along the way I've figured out something about myself at these various times.
If something rubs me the wrong way here, it's probably more to do with what's going on in my life than anything they said.
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I think we've heard all sides of this.....anger's fine on SR, but this is really borderline and "screwing" is not a word we generally like to banter about here (see your text) as we have lots of folks truly offended by profanity, so....I'm going to close this thread and we can move on to more helpful stuff.
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