No Contact...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 545
No Contact...
I understand the obvious... but would like to know how others kept their "no contact" in place during a divorce. Filing papers, moving out their stuff, payments that need to be made, etc.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 646
I tried to avoid contact as much as possible, but sometimes it was not possible. Email became my friend. I used my lawyer as a go between when possible. Made "appointments" to be moving stuff in order to avoid him. When I was around him I did not give him eye contact or speak unless spoken too. If he pushed it, I would email that I would only respond to email.
Good luck....it will get better.
Good luck....it will get better.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 545
Originally Posted by Chrysalis123 
I tried to avoid contact as much as possible, but sometimes it was not possible. Email became my friend. I used my lawyer as a go between when possible. Made "appointments" to be moving stuff in order to avoid him. When I was around him I did not give him eye contact or speak unless spoken too. If he pushed it, I would email that I would only respond to email.
Good luck....it will get better.
Good luck....it will get better.
Love your idea of no eye contact/speaking
The main challenge is
1) he has no computer
2) is computer illiterate
3) has no email account
Should I consider texting an option when absolutely necessary? I would like to NOT speak with him. Bills are due and I'm not hearing from him!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 611
Is there a way to send him certified mail of the requests you are making like appointments, requests to pick up his stuff, etc. I would give him deadlines as well to get his belongings or they will be trashed/removed from the home.
This way it is documented that he received the notice and you reached out to him and still honoring your no contact. Text messages are also a good way of documenting your contact as well as the cell phone company can print them out for you, if requested.
Going through your lawyer is also a good idea as well but they charge everytime they breathe your name so any way around the system and covering yourself at the same time would be great.
This way it is documented that he received the notice and you reached out to him and still honoring your no contact. Text messages are also a good way of documenting your contact as well as the cell phone company can print them out for you, if requested.
Going through your lawyer is also a good idea as well but they charge everytime they breathe your name so any way around the system and covering yourself at the same time would be great.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 545
Originally Posted by URMYEVERYTHING
Is there a way to send him certified mail of the requests you are making like appointments, requests to pick up his stuff, etc. I would give him deadlines as well to get his belongings or they will be trashed/removed from the home.
This way it is documented that he received the notice and you reached out to him and still honoring your no contact. Text messages are also a good way of documenting your contact as well as the cell phone company can print them out for you, if requested.
Going through your lawyer is also a good idea as well but they charge everytime they breathe your name so any way around the system and covering yourself at the same time would be great.
This way it is documented that he received the notice and you reached out to him and still honoring your no contact. Text messages are also a good way of documenting your contact as well as the cell phone company can print them out for you, if requested.
Going through your lawyer is also a good idea as well but they charge everytime they breathe your name so any way around the system and covering yourself at the same time would be great.
I Love Who I Am
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
So he has no email, sleeps on couches and you're reliant on him to get out his stuff and pay bills.
Wish I had answers, but others are offering those up fine.
I'll offer up prayers and encouragment. Your answers will come. At least he ain't livin there no more...
Wish I had answers, but others are offering those up fine.
I'll offer up prayers and encouragment. Your answers will come. At least he ain't livin there no more...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 545
Originally Posted by transformyself
So he has no email, sleeps on couches and you're reliant on him to get out his stuff and pay bills.
Wish I had answers, but others are offering those up fine.
I'll offer up prayers and encouragment. Your answers will come. At least he ain't livin there no more...
Wish I had answers, but others are offering those up fine.
I'll offer up prayers and encouragment. Your answers will come. At least he ain't livin there no more...
I suppose with most things in life there are no "real" answers... only the ones you can live with.
**THOUGHT**
As I see it...most folks on this forum... we've been on the same boat (one way or the other) and it ultimately is our decision if we choose to use one paddle and go in circles or use both paddles and (hopefully) move in the right direction. Let me tell ya rowing with two paddles is a lot harder, but worth the effort.
Until WE decide where WE are going... it doesn't matter what any answer is... does it?
...and yes "hallelujah" he ain't livin here no more.
Thanks!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Good example-I hope-came up today. She had asked via text what I needed from her last Thursday?-not sure as I shut my phone off Thursday evening and didn't turn it back on until Saturday am, I responded by telling her I needed my house key and the money she borrowed. A loan to purchase her textbooks, she had promised to pay it back when she received her Pell grant and student loans, and I also naturally wanted the key.
She responded with insults, I asked her simply to do the right thing.
Didn't hear back from her indicating she would do anything, sent a text Sunday evening asking if I could get the key back, yes or no.
Today rolls around, about an hour ago, she tells me she's going to mail me a certified check for $500-actually a little more than she borrowed, and mail the key also. Wasn't planning on responding, I will be stunned if she ever sends the money, would have been happy had she just dropped the key off.
Didn't think about responding, no need to, then about a minute later, verbatim now-'Please do not contact me anymoque' Kinda funny, hadn't been contacting her-again, no need to, thought about it for a minute, sent her a text back with my street address and zipcode.
Which would eliminate any need for her to contact me-I don't have your address!-and if I get the money, great, I don't, just typical addict behavior.
In the meantime, gonna change the lock with a spare I have.
And feeling grateful that racing season is over and my chances of bumping into her accidentally are pretty minimal.
She responded with insults, I asked her simply to do the right thing.
Didn't hear back from her indicating she would do anything, sent a text Sunday evening asking if I could get the key back, yes or no.
Today rolls around, about an hour ago, she tells me she's going to mail me a certified check for $500-actually a little more than she borrowed, and mail the key also. Wasn't planning on responding, I will be stunned if she ever sends the money, would have been happy had she just dropped the key off.
Didn't think about responding, no need to, then about a minute later, verbatim now-'Please do not contact me anymoque' Kinda funny, hadn't been contacting her-again, no need to, thought about it for a minute, sent her a text back with my street address and zipcode.
Which would eliminate any need for her to contact me-I don't have your address!-and if I get the money, great, I don't, just typical addict behavior.
In the meantime, gonna change the lock with a spare I have.
And feeling grateful that racing season is over and my chances of bumping into her accidentally are pretty minimal.
Last edited by sailorjohn; 09-22-2009 at 02:23 PM.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 545
Originally Posted by sailorjohn
Good example-I hope-came up today. She had asked via text what I needed from her last Thursday?-not sure as I shut my phone off Thursday evening and didn't turn it back on until Saturday am, I responded by telling her I needed my house key and the money she borrowed. A loan to purchase her textbooks, she had promised to pay it back when she received her Pell grant and student loans, and I also naturally wanted the key.
She responded with insults, I asked her simply to do the right thing.
Didn't hear back from her indicating she would do anything, sent a text Sunday evening asking if I could get the key back, yes or no.
Today rolls around, about an hour ago, she tells me she's going to mail me a certified check for $500-actually a little more than she borrowed, and mail the key also. Wasn't planning on responding, I will be stunned if she ever sends the money, would have been happy had she just dropped the key off.
Didn't think about responding, no need to, then about a minute later, verbatim now-'Please do not contact me anymoque' Kinda funny, hadn't been contacting her-again, no need to, thought about it for a minute, sent her a text back with my street address and zipcode.
Which would eliminate any need for her to contact me-I don't have your address!-and if I get the money, great, I don't, just typical addict behavior.
In the meantime, gonna change the lock with a spare I have.
And feeling grateful that racing season is over and my chances of bumping into her accidentally are pretty minimal.
She responded with insults, I asked her simply to do the right thing.
Didn't hear back from her indicating she would do anything, sent a text Sunday evening asking if I could get the key back, yes or no.
Today rolls around, about an hour ago, she tells me she's going to mail me a certified check for $500-actually a little more than she borrowed, and mail the key also. Wasn't planning on responding, I will be stunned if she ever sends the money, would have been happy had she just dropped the key off.
Didn't think about responding, no need to, then about a minute later, verbatim now-'Please do not contact me anymoque' Kinda funny, hadn't been contacting her-again, no need to, thought about it for a minute, sent her a text back with my street address and zipcode.
Which would eliminate any need for her to contact me-I don't have your address!-and if I get the money, great, I don't, just typical addict behavior.
In the meantime, gonna change the lock with a spare I have.
And feeling grateful that racing season is over and my chances of bumping into her accidentally are pretty minimal.
I see what you're saying and good for YOU!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
