Sponsor shot me in the foot...(or heart)
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 6
Sponsor shot me in the foot...(or heart)
New here, married 8 years to a wonderful man who lost control of alcohol about a year ago. He made the decision to go to AA and after a few months decided on in patient rehab where he is in his 3rd week and working very hard at sobriety. Today I found out that the person he has reached out to in AA to be his sponsor has broken my husband's aninimity by letting it "slip" to my employer that my husband is in the hospital (in another city, we live in a very small town) My boss in turn has talked to my co-workers ........great! So much for my husbands budding trust and faith in AA.
For my part, I contacted the "sponsor" and told him I would like him to own responsibility for this, he agreed and on the advice of HIS sponsor will not discuss this with my husband while he is still in treatment, but will make his amends upon his return home in about 10 days. I am willing to let the sponsor handle it as he sees fit as I see this is an issue between hubby and sponsor.
In the meantime any advise on my dealings with a boss who CANNOT keep her mouth shut about other peeps business?
Thanks!!
CatD
For my part, I contacted the "sponsor" and told him I would like him to own responsibility for this, he agreed and on the advice of HIS sponsor will not discuss this with my husband while he is still in treatment, but will make his amends upon his return home in about 10 days. I am willing to let the sponsor handle it as he sees fit as I see this is an issue between hubby and sponsor.
In the meantime any advise on my dealings with a boss who CANNOT keep her mouth shut about other peeps business?
Thanks!!
CatD
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,144
Originally Posted by CatD 
In the meantime any advise on my dealings with a boss who CANNOT keep her mouth shut about other peeps business?
Thanks!!
CatD
Let your husband deal with his own problems and clean up up his own messes?
Are you the one who ended up drinking so much they needed to go to rehab?
Is it your sobriety?
was it your sponsor?
was it your anonymity that was broken?
I have found when I actually mind my own business I encounter other people not minding their own business much less frequently, almost never actually, thus my own serenity increases 100 fold
If I were him I would definitely fire that sponsor, anonymity is incredibly important, he has good information about that sponsor, but it happens, best thing I can do is let other people solve their own problems.
Have you thought about attending alanon?
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
Originally Posted by Ago
Stay out of it?
Let your husband deal with his own problems and clean up up his own messes?
Are you the one who ended up drinking so much they needed to go to rehab?
Is it your sobriety?
was it your sponsor?
was it your anonymity that was broken?
I have found when I actually mind my own business I encounter other people not minding their own business much less frequently, almost never actually, thus my own serenity increases 100 fold
If I were him I would definitely fire that sponsor, anonymity is incredibly important, he has good information about that sponsor, but it happens, best thing I can do is let other people solve their own problems.
Have you thought about attending alanon?
Let your husband deal with his own problems and clean up up his own messes?
Are you the one who ended up drinking so much they needed to go to rehab?
Is it your sobriety?
was it your sponsor?
was it your anonymity that was broken?
I have found when I actually mind my own business I encounter other people not minding their own business much less frequently, almost never actually, thus my own serenity increases 100 fold
If I were him I would definitely fire that sponsor, anonymity is incredibly important, he has good information about that sponsor, but it happens, best thing I can do is let other people solve their own problems.
Have you thought about attending alanon?
A girl has to have her standards, yunno.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 6
As I said,
1)Husband is in rehab he does NOT know that HIS sponsor broke HIS (husbands) aninimity.
2) I agree, and I said the issue is between husband and his sponsor.
What is MY issue is MY employer and the mess that has now in MY place of work.......
only told the story to clarify what happened.
1)Husband is in rehab he does NOT know that HIS sponsor broke HIS (husbands) aninimity.
2) I agree, and I said the issue is between husband and his sponsor.
What is MY issue is MY employer and the mess that has now in MY place of work.......
only told the story to clarify what happened.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,144
Originally Posted by CatD
As I said,
1)Husband is in rehab he does NOT know that HIS sponsor broke HIS (husbands) aninimity.
2) I agree, and I said the issue is between husband and his sponsor.
What is MY issue is MY employer and the mess that has now in MY place of work.......
only told the story to clarify what happened.
1)Husband is in rehab he does NOT know that HIS sponsor broke HIS (husbands) aninimity.
2) I agree, and I said the issue is between husband and his sponsor.
What is MY issue is MY employer and the mess that has now in MY place of work.......
only told the story to clarify what happened.
your husband is in rehab
your boss is a gossip
your boss knows your husband is in rehab
BFD
You can't do anything about either of these scenarios, people going to rehab happens all the time now, it's a good thing right? something to be happy about, not ashamed of, husband has illness, husband dealing with illness.
Possibly change your perspective?
Have you thought about attending alanon?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: AL
Posts: 34
wow, sorry that happened. new here, new to this but it reminded me of a quote I heard and liked...."It is none of your buisness what other people think of you." I like that. Now if I could just remember it myself.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by Hammer
All of the above . . . and have you considered "firing" your employer?
A girl has to have her standards, yunno.
A girl has to have her standards, yunno.
Actually just trying to figure out how to set some clear boundries with the boss lady..........
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
I say go about your work professionally, as usual. If she strikes a conversation you can say " I do not want to discuss personal matters" and repeat it like a broken record. The boss is the boss, not a friend or a sponsor or a priest or someone to talk about personal things.
People will always gossip, when the next "scandal" comes they will get another 'bone' to feed on, meanwhile you keep up your great work
you have nothing to do with anything of what has happened !
I know its easier in writing...... good luck!
People will always gossip, when the next "scandal" comes they will get another 'bone' to feed on, meanwhile you keep up your great work
you have nothing to do with anything of what has happened !I know its easier in writing...... good luck!
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