Trying to understand boundaries
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Absolutely right. Sounds like you could use a different job, if the people there feel it's acceptable to throw things at you....NOT okay. I would take a guess that there are other things about your environment that make it hostile as well.
Telling someone you're uncomfortable being called "dear" (or deer, or dire, or hon, or baby, or gal, or lovey, or anything else) is a perfectly acceptable expression, in my humble opinion.
Telling someone you're uncomfortable being called "dear" (or deer, or dire, or hon, or baby, or gal, or lovey, or anything else) is a perfectly acceptable expression, in my humble opinion.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 177
The response I received was "No need to thank me, honey.... I didn't do anything, sweetheart. Have a good weekend, baby."
I was laid off, but the anger and resentment of what went on was unreal. Why am I suffering because someone on drugs couldn't handle my boundary? I have been unemployed for a year; fearful of being in another dysfunctional workplace, but need to take care of me and my kids. Why do they feel that they can get away with saying whatever they want and manage to have others cover up for them? All I wanted was to be treated as a human being, an equal, not an object. Some days I feel sorry he is so sick being on drugs and whatever issues he has, but other days I feel so angry and resentful.
I was laid off, but the anger and resentment of what went on was unreal. Why am I suffering because someone on drugs couldn't handle my boundary? I have been unemployed for a year; fearful of being in another dysfunctional workplace, but need to take care of me and my kids. Why do they feel that they can get away with saying whatever they want and manage to have others cover up for them? All I wanted was to be treated as a human being, an equal, not an object. Some days I feel sorry he is so sick being on drugs and whatever issues he has, but other days I feel so angry and resentful.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
Your letting this drag you down....way down. Remember a boundary is about protecting you. Yes, not accepting being called "dear" is a boundary if you have a way to enforce it like reporting the person, walking away, etc. Just expecting someone to stop because you said so does nothing for your well being and looking back in anger at something you couldn't control in a job that is no longer where you want to be anyway is just brining stress you don't need.
Lets start working on you. Start of list of where you want to be, what you want to be doing, how you want to get by financially (no lottery, no miracle just honest work).
Having a goal is not a plan, right? Time to get a plan to go with the goal.
The folks here are all about growing from the bottom up and have great ideas for doing that...just ask for ideas and you shall receive.
Lets start working on you. Start of list of where you want to be, what you want to be doing, how you want to get by financially (no lottery, no miracle just honest work).
Having a goal is not a plan, right? Time to get a plan to go with the goal.
The folks here are all about growing from the bottom up and have great ideas for doing that...just ask for ideas and you shall receive.
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