kv816

That's all there is to it too. Yall were right. Not sure how I feel about it. I guess deep down, after spending the last 6 months really thinking about it, I always knew you were going to end up right anyway.

xabf has been dry for 3 weeks. I've done all I could, shy of filing a complaint for violating the restraining order. I moved out, he hounds me. Changed my number, he got it. Ignored his calls, had to sift through 20+ voice mails daily. Changed my number again, he got it again. Filed the restraining order, he violated it daily. Changed my number again, he showed up at my work.

I've been detaching the best I can (once he realized it he was angry). I took everything from his house I wanted (which angered him some more).

Fact is, he's a jerk. A manipulative, demeaning, angry, verbally assaulting jerk.

I got what I "wanted"....he IS dry. But he's still an ass to me. Go figure. Maybe he's just detoxing. Maybe it's this.....maybe it's that.

I don't know. And I don't much care.

But he's a jerk. .....dry or wet, it doesn't stop. So much for dreams.

Sorry....guess I'm just a little disappointed tonight. Just needed to vent a little.

suki44883

How is he able to keep getting your phone number? Can you alert someone at work to keep him from getting in? Why not file that complaint? Sometimes it's very difficult to get completely away from someone who is determined to contact you, but it can be done. You just have to be strong and keep doing whatever it takes to show him you mean business. If having him arrested is what it takes, maybe you should consider it. I wish you much luck.

GiveLove

I think most of us would give anything NOT to be right, kv.
Sorry it's a bad night for you. There are lots of good men in the world...he's just not one of them unfortunately.

PurpleWilder

I hate to say this, but he will keep doing what he is doing until you get serious about having the restraining order enforced. And showing up where you work is harassment and a form of workplace violence. If your company is slow in responding, you might want to remind them of that.

kv816

I put a lot of thought into it and I really think it might just be someone at work giving it to him. And unfortunately the person I think might be doing it is someone who HAS to have my number. So it's not like I can not give it to her.

I guess I was just having a disappointed night last night. Just wanted to throw my hands in the air. Stressed out to the max with it all. I'm having a hard time understanding why go away is so hard to understand.

He called me at 2 this morning.....I'm sure he was at a bar and wanted a ride home. I didn't answer. We're going to have a talk today.

suki44883

Sounds like you need to have a talk with that person at work who keeps giving him your number. Perhaps spell it out in no uncertain terms that your number is NOT to be given out to ANYONE and that you will go over that person's head if your demand is not met.

Freedom1990

What is the purpose of the talk? What do you think you will accomplish?

Every time you engage with him, you encourage his harrassing/stalking behavior, whether you realize it or not.

kv816

I know you're right Freedom. I did avoid "the talk" today. He was actually quite angry that I refused to stay (I kept his sis's kids last night to play with my kids, she's living with him right now). Of all his friends and family, she's the only one who doesn't think I'm crazy. She knows he's an A and we've discussed it together many times. Unfortunately she's still an enabler; even though she respects my boundaries.

I think that's what I'm fighting the most. I don't want to lose everything. Her kids, the family, are my family too. I care so much about everyone. But I know losing contact completely with him would mean no contact with any of them either. But I think that's something I'm going to have to accept.

I'm going to my first alanon meeting tonight. I haven't been to a f2f since October, and that was only because you had to go to one before visitation at rehab. I go to a meeting almost every night, online. But tonight I need to see faces, to hear voices. To know my struggles aren't just words on a computer screen.