It's my birthday today....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 161
It's my birthday today....
and all I seem to care about is if the AexBF thinks about me today or maybe will write me. I don't expect him to, but the hope is there. It's stupid. Wishing he'd wish me a happy birthday when he's sleeping with someone else? He doesn't care, and I shouldn't either. Just cried in the car on the drive home tonight and feel low about it.....
PS Not looking to broadcast that it's my birthday, just it feels heavier today than normal because of it.
PS Not looking to broadcast that it's my birthday, just it feels heavier today than normal because of it.
Curled up in a good book...
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 1,542
:day6
Happy birthday! So what are you doing today that is just for you? How are you going to treat yourself since it is your birthday? Doing something extra special? I hope you have a great day and distract yourself enough to forget about XABF and just have fun! You deserve it!
Happy birthday! So what are you doing today that is just for you? How are you going to treat yourself since it is your birthday? Doing something extra special? I hope you have a great day and distract yourself enough to forget about XABF and just have fun! You deserve it!
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
HAPPY BDAY!!
In my birthday I somehow convinced myself ex was dead and lately after I leave office and "start to go there mentally" I just think "too bad this good guy I remember... he died time ago". This frees me a little and helps me stop expecting signals.
How did you celebrate????????
:day2
7
In my birthday I somehow convinced myself ex was dead and lately after I leave office and "start to go there mentally" I just think "too bad this good guy I remember... he died time ago". This frees me a little and helps me stop expecting signals.
How did you celebrate????????
:day2
7
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,582
Happy Birthday BS08!!!!
Today is YOUR day, so what will you do? Massage? Mani/pedi? Lunch with a friend? A long walk? Yoga? CAKE?????
My first b-day without the exabf was in April. That whole week I desperately wanted to just see him. I missed him. On my birthday I went to my hometown to have dinner with my father at our neighborhood restaurant. You know what happened? My ex and the other woman (now his wife) showed up at the hotel of our restaurant that night. My ex drove her car past us eating at our restaurant (he lost his license 4 years ago and lives in another state 4 hours away). I got my wish, though. I saw my ex. Apparently when I was praying to God that I see him, I should have specified in what capacity! Moral of the story, be careful what you wish for...
Happy Birthday and Big Hugs!!!!
Today is YOUR day, so what will you do? Massage? Mani/pedi? Lunch with a friend? A long walk? Yoga? CAKE?????
My first b-day without the exabf was in April. That whole week I desperately wanted to just see him. I missed him. On my birthday I went to my hometown to have dinner with my father at our neighborhood restaurant. You know what happened? My ex and the other woman (now his wife) showed up at the hotel of our restaurant that night. My ex drove her car past us eating at our restaurant (he lost his license 4 years ago and lives in another state 4 hours away). I got my wish, though. I saw my ex. Apparently when I was praying to God that I see him, I should have specified in what capacity! Moral of the story, be careful what you wish for...
Happy Birthday and Big Hugs!!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Between the ocean and the mountains
Posts: 653
I'm sorry, BS08. I hope today is a little better for you.
Holidays,birthdays, all significant anniversaries....they all generate grief when one has suffered recent loss (or longtime loss, for many).
God made you beautiful and full of love. Don't let an addict convince you otherwise.
Your exabf will suffer his consequences as he makes his choices.
And you, my dear, will recover and live again. Give yourself all the time you need.
xx
Bluejay
Holidays,birthdays, all significant anniversaries....they all generate grief when one has suffered recent loss (or longtime loss, for many).
God made you beautiful and full of love. Don't let an addict convince you otherwise.
Your exabf will suffer his consequences as he makes his choices.
And you, my dear, will recover and live again. Give yourself all the time you need.
xx
Bluejay
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 133
Happy Birthday BS08! Just to put things in perspective, this year (in March) my XABF had sex with a bar **** in some sleazy hotel a mile from the house. I woke up that morning and he never came home the night before, and shortely thereafter he went into treatment. Decided when he came back (end of March) that he needed to "come clean.....had to tell me what he did. The absoulute selfishness of this disease...please keep the focus on you, and do something today just for yourself. Big hugs!!! 7
7
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 902
Happy B-Day!!!
This happened to me last birthday in December 08. My xabf was in full "silent treatment/manipulation" mode. He did not call on my birthday. It really hurt at the time, but I decided that I would have a fabulous birthday anyway. The day was wonderful, and while I still thought about it, it was not as bad as it could have been. A lot of people on here also told me to think of it as a blessing he didn't call. Hard, I know, but it was helpful to me.
Hang in there! Next birthday, you will be 10 steps ahead and you will know how much better life is without him!
This happened to me last birthday in December 08. My xabf was in full "silent treatment/manipulation" mode. He did not call on my birthday. It really hurt at the time, but I decided that I would have a fabulous birthday anyway. The day was wonderful, and while I still thought about it, it was not as bad as it could have been. A lot of people on here also told me to think of it as a blessing he didn't call. Hard, I know, but it was helpful to me.
Hang in there! Next birthday, you will be 10 steps ahead and you will know how much better life is without him!
Awakening
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Beautiful Texas hillcountry
Posts: 1,272
I have reached the magic age where MY birthday no longer holds ANY charm! Ha! Hang in there, in 20 or so years yours might no longer mater to you. J/K.
:day6
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
:day6
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
Hey BS!
I wish you a Happy Birthday without a call from him, without any drama from him, and without the hint of unhealthy mojo from his sorry self.
You are worth every good birthday wish and every healthy moment you are living from this moment forth.
You don't have to believe me....my belief doesn't require you to. It just is.
My best to you!
Alice
I wish you a Happy Birthday without a call from him, without any drama from him, and without the hint of unhealthy mojo from his sorry self.
You are worth every good birthday wish and every healthy moment you are living from this moment forth.
You don't have to believe me....my belief doesn't require you to. It just is.
My best to you!
Alice
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 161
Thank you everybody. I appreciate the wishes. He didn't call or email, like I expected, but I still think about it.
It actually didn't turn out to be quite a great day. I adopted a dog, that I really love, a little over 2 weeks ago from a rescue organization. I've always wanted a dog, and miss my exABF's alot, and adopted this just lovely 5 year old boarder collie/shepard mix. They told me she has some dog aggression issues that a little training would fix, and she was great when she spent a day at my house, so no problem. I adopted her. Over the coarse of the 2 weeks, I have tried to take her running and hiking with me, but she just goes BALLISTIC with other dogs! She's uncontrollable! Over this past week, she bit 3 dogs (including my neighbors sweet dog), including one today. She actually jumped this poor woman to get to her dog. I spent this morning trying to get my dog off her and have her and her husband screaming at me in the park. It was mortifying. She didn't hurt the dog, but I gave up, and realized that her problems are more severe that I can handle. She is an absolutely WONDERFUL dog outside of this one stupid issue. But I can't take her anywhere and I'm afraid she'll hurt another dog. So I made the tuff call today to return her to the shelter. It's killing me to do it. I feel like I've given up on her when she deserves a good home, but I doubt I can fix this dog aggression she has (it's really awful). It's breaking my heart to give her back and feel like I failed her on some level, but it's the shelter that set us both up for failure.
My friends at work threw me a nice party though, so that cheered me up a little. But those feelings of inadequacy are filtering back in now that I have to give my dog back.
And I had to work and take care of stupid alcoholics wrecking their cars all day too. Wasn't one of my better BDays....
It actually didn't turn out to be quite a great day. I adopted a dog, that I really love, a little over 2 weeks ago from a rescue organization. I've always wanted a dog, and miss my exABF's alot, and adopted this just lovely 5 year old boarder collie/shepard mix. They told me she has some dog aggression issues that a little training would fix, and she was great when she spent a day at my house, so no problem. I adopted her. Over the coarse of the 2 weeks, I have tried to take her running and hiking with me, but she just goes BALLISTIC with other dogs! She's uncontrollable! Over this past week, she bit 3 dogs (including my neighbors sweet dog), including one today. She actually jumped this poor woman to get to her dog. I spent this morning trying to get my dog off her and have her and her husband screaming at me in the park. It was mortifying. She didn't hurt the dog, but I gave up, and realized that her problems are more severe that I can handle. She is an absolutely WONDERFUL dog outside of this one stupid issue. But I can't take her anywhere and I'm afraid she'll hurt another dog. So I made the tuff call today to return her to the shelter. It's killing me to do it. I feel like I've given up on her when she deserves a good home, but I doubt I can fix this dog aggression she has (it's really awful). It's breaking my heart to give her back and feel like I failed her on some level, but it's the shelter that set us both up for failure.
My friends at work threw me a nice party though, so that cheered me up a little. But those feelings of inadequacy are filtering back in now that I have to give my dog back.
And I had to work and take care of stupid alcoholics wrecking their cars all day too. Wasn't one of my better BDays....
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
