staying away from alcoholic
 

Hi my name is Julia and I am new here. Today is day 6 in withdrawal from jealous, controlling, bitter alcoholic partner of 7 years. Feel those old familiar yearnings to drive by (he lives around the corner) etc coming back (he dumped me last weekend when I told him i was no longer going to have sex with him unless he gives up drinking with me!) what a sick relationship I have created, but my mind is truly addicted to this man!!!!

Some relationships tend to look a lot different when finally viewed through Sober Eyes.

Hugs to you.

Congratulations for standing up for yourself. I know it is hard right now, but it will get easier.

Julia-it's been a week since I broke it off with my EXABF. Leading up to the breakup over the past few months has been 2 relapses, verbal abuse, jealousy, loss of his control over my finding a job. threats to mine and my dog's physical wellbeing all culminating last Friday night with the police removing him not once, but twice from our place. Since then, there has been begging, pleading, anger, bitterness, remorse,, the list goes on and on and in spite of that, for whatever reasons, I miss him.

Now that there is peace in my life, I'm trying to figure out those reasons. There was a period in our lives when things were really good-calm, serene and happy when he was not drinking and it all turned around one day -actually, the last day of July when he came home with a case of beer and announced to me that he knew I wouldn't be happy, but it was hot and he wanted a beer. It was downhill from there all culminating in what happened last week.

So, when something triggers a memory of him, I think back to last week's events - the smell of beer, the angry, threatening man, the police taking him away and as much as I want things to be what they were, I know they never will. It's hard but that's the only way I can focus on my peace, my serenity, my new life.

Al-Anon has helped me tremendously during this relationship and now that it's over. It's helped me to take my focus off of the alcoholic and put it on me and my attitudes. It helps, it really does.

Hugs coming your way at this hard time......

Welcome to the SR family fragrantrose!

You have taken a big step in taking care of yourself by seperating from an active alcoholic. The active alcoholic is all over the place with their emotions and you never know whether you are coming or going. Should I praise him for trying to help? Should I tell him he is not helping. Should I not tell him about my day until he is in a better mood? UGH! You are walking on eggshells because you don't want to cause an over-reaction from the alcoholic.

That's not living. Not even close.

Living like that, you surrender to never being enough for anybody. You fee inadequate. It's never enough, so you might as well join them and drown your own personal misery.

But deep down inside, there is a still small voice. A young girl. That young girl wants to live her life. She needs to be heard.

Congratulations fragrantrose! You have listened to that still small voice and taken control of your one precious life!

Keeping taking it one day at a time. You can do this for yourself! We're here to support you and offer you encouragement. We care about you!