gns

I was just wondering if anyone else had problems with this.

I was in traffic court for an unfair ticket and the judge also treated me unfairly (very disrespectfully- she even rolled her eyes at me) Also the crap she let off as not guilty was laughable in it's unfairness.

I have been FUMING about this for days! I want to get back at her.

Does anyone else overreact to injustice like this? I can't believe that normal people get this upset over this. What do you all do?

suki44883

Well, first of all...I do not, in any way, recommend trying to "get back" at a judge. That would only prove disastrous for you. Other than that, unless the judge is sending you to prison, it might be best if you just accept her ruling and let it go. If she is sending you to prison, then serve your sentence and then let it go. So, basically, I guess I'm suggesting that you just let it go.

Lucy06

OMG this is the same exact thing I am struggling with at the moment. Up until recently, I would have described myself as a people pleaser, never wanting to make a fuss about anything, including when I was treated unfairly. But since I started therapy and realised my co dependency and my people pleasing issue, it's like a side a me I didn't know emerges in full blown mode when I am treated unfairly. This week, I've had an issue about my parking permit at work which truly was not my fault but after receiving a ticket, right in front of my nose and despite me talking (nicely initially) to the guy who was giving me the fine, I suddenly lost it totally and started yelling at him. This is so not me, but I felt helpless to control this, although I realise now that I should not have reacted this way....

Cynay

I do.....

I get like that, mostly with ex'es .... they get on my nerves with what they get away with.... I get road rage with people that are just rude.... heck I get fussy with follow codies that just dont seeme to "get it"

The only thing that helps me is the senerity prayer.... letting it go and working on being thankful that .... I have a program and Im not like that.....

Sometimes its frustrating.... but with the Grace of God!!!! and knowing Im not perfect.

aboutdone

Does it matter? Sure. Can you argue with a judge? No.

If you are right, and you know you are right, and your HP knows your right, who cares what anyone else thinks. It does suck if it comes down to paying your hard earned money for something you didn't do, but sometimes that is just the way it goes.

Now, if you want me to even it up for you, I will. You are not going to like it, but here it goes. I am sure at sometime in your past you have been guilty of a traffic violation and did not get caught. Most of us have went over the speed limit, drove without our seat belt, forgot or just flat out didn't use our turn signal, accidentally ran a stop sign or a red light, etc. See where I am going.
Maybe you are falsely accused this time, but I am sure at some point like me, you have probably not been caught with a true traffic violation. It doesn't necessarily make it right, but at the same time it evens out.

Don't get me wrong, I am trying to be funny here. I guess I look at things as what comes around, goes around. That judge in time will have something unfair happen to them as well. Its life.

You know its like when I go to the local discount shopping store. Would I ever intentionally rip them off? Heck no. Have I put pop or water in the bottom of my cart, and completely forgot about it when I got to the registers. Yep. Do I always go back in and pay for it. Well I would like to say yes, but there was this one time, I was going to be late for an appt, and figured I would go back in and tell them when I was done. Did I? no, I completely forgot. So do I get mad when a checker accidentally scans that packet of koolaid when I buy 10 and get charged for 11? Nope. I figure its deserving.

You probably won't like my way of thinking as most people don't. Lol. Its just the way I look at things.

I worked for a big telecom company a few years ago. I lived 70 miles away from my job, and was snowed in one morning, no chance in hell was I going to get my car out. I called in, stating the facts. Next day I went to work and the mgr wrote me up, since at my job they had NO SNOW! I was so mad, and argued and argued, it didn't do me a darn bit of good. A coworker pointed out that if I could wait long enough I would see justice. You know what? 6 years later, yes 6 years later, that mgr was fired over a personal issue that I am sure she felt was worthy of missing work, but her mgr didn't agree. Still not sure she was deserving of that, but whose to say.

What comes around, goes around. Don't let it get you too upset. Lol

sandrawg

Wow. I have so been getting this way, too. I am the same as you - was always a people pleaser. Then I ended up in 2 relationships, one with an ANGRY, verbally abusive RAH, next with a sweet but frustrating active A.

Now I have a lot of anger. I constantly struggle with it, because let's face it, acting out in anger isn't exactly the most effective approach to 99 percent of your problems! You end up looking like a crazy person.

I have a book called the Anger Management workbook. I'm turning to that, and to various thought-stopping techniques. Reading Melody Beattie helps cuz she talks about codependents being reactive, and that the way to turn that off is to just pause before you react. Get away from the situation for a while, take time ot simmer down, and think.

Lucy06

Interesting Sandrawg... This thread really go tme thinking because it has become an issue this week....
I think I am really full of anger that I cannot express to the person who caused it (my AH). So the first stranger who treats me unfairly gets an earful to an extent that is really not "normal". I am kind of ashamed of my reaction with that guy who put the parking fine on my car. Yet at the same time, I think there was no way I was gonna let him get away with it. But I am so wrong. Boy, do I still have a long way to go in my recovery. 3 steps forward, 2 backwards... So frustrating.