Dadtrying

That was the text I got 5 minutes ago from my AW.

What she means is less than a month out of rehab she is "going out to eat and having a "drink" whether I like it or not, I am not a child"

She is 30 years old by the way.

She has been trying to convince me, for the past few weeks, that I should let her drink. She has admitted that she has hated me since because "I won't let her"

I got a text because I am not home. I am working my second double shift this week to maintain our moderate life.

My story is on another thread. I was not allowed to post the link.

Anyway, she constantly fights with me and blames me for her miserable life. Now I know it isn't me. I know why she is doing this. It doesn't make it any easier. I am soooo frustrated. I know I have no choice but to leave her in order for me to be happy (ironically that is why she has to leave me)

The kids are a concern. The middle daughter has special needs and is hers from a previous marraige. The youngest is ours together. The oldest is mine so that is not an issue. My concerns are that she will not leave. She insists she is capable of caring for the kids because I work so she should take them.
To be honest I am not sure a judge would automatically give me custody. Then I would be forced to move out of the house that she does not work one day to pay for. To add more problems the middle child is scheduled for major surgery in a few weeks. (spine)

I must have done something wrong to get dealt these cards.


Venting.

aboutdone

You know you have done anything wrong.

You didn't cause it, can't control it, and can't cure it.

I don't have anything positive to say at the moment, other than I feel for you.
Its a tough situation.

I'm sure other members will be along shortly to support you.

Still Waters

Hey Dad. Have you had any counseling, just for you?

It might be time for some detachment, as hard as that is. Have you spoken with an attorney?

Pelican

You've got paperwork from her rehab? You've got copies of her text? You'll want to show those to an attorney. You may not have to worry about the youngest child or loosing your home.

I haven't read your other posts yet, so I'll ask here:
Have you attended any Alanon meetings yet? You will find them helpful and supportive. You are not alone and you aren't the only husband with an alcoholic wife!

Please read some of the sticky posts at the top for inspiration and encouragement.

There are other dad's here on this forum, hopefully they will be checking in with you soon!

brundle

If she's been in rehab you may be able to get the kids. Also if she's out drinking and driving; call the cops. The more papers you've got on her the safer those kids will be. It may sound mean; but my sister-in-law was just in a major crash with the kids because her husband (my brother) didn't want to be mean. The kids are in bad shape and she is just banged up. Oh did I mention she was completely smashed when this happened.

She'll loose the kids now. But it could have all been avoided!!!

isurvived

DadTrying -

I so often have felt the same way about the cards I've been handed. Doesn't seem fair, does it? I ask why too, what did I ever do to deserve this mess.

Truth is we did nothing to deserve this.

You are in the middle of a storm right now. Try not to look at the whole event at once. It is overwhelming. Take it a day at a time. Get some good legal advice if you intend on divorcing her. Get some good counseling either way.

I've been through hell and back myself. BUT, I can tell you without a doubt that there IS life after this storm! You WILL be happy again. Your life WILL be fullfilling again. Above all, keep your mind in a POSITIVE frame. Be grateful for the other joys in life... your daughters, nature, your health. Your future will begin to take a brighter path.