CAAW

I had my meeting with my counselor tonight. It was pretty tough. So we went through the letter I wrote my AH. He said it was a good start, but I need to organize my thoughts and also make a list of my expectations in it. Example: tell him we need to go to marriage counseling, he needs to go to get help for his alcoholism and so forth.
Once I get this all together the next step is to leave the letter for him to read and digest and then for him to decide what path he wants to choose. To either work towards getting healthy and keep or family together or to chose not to and we divorce.

I am mentally exhausted right now and having trouble taking all this in. I am extremely overwhelmed.

boocatgirl

((((CAAW)))) Great big hug for you. I know that it's hard, but good for you for taking care of yourself. Keeping good thoughts for you.

Best,

BCG

whyamistaying

Can you do something nice for yourself since you're emotionally exhausted?

CAAW

I wish I could, but not for a while. I barely made it to work this morning. I am just at a point where I wish I could just shut down and hide from the world. I can't though. I need my job, I need to be there for my kids. I am trying my best to hold it together. Maybe this weekend??? I don't know.

I sent my counselor/pastor an email last night:

"sorry that I disappointed you with me taking a step back with this process. I defiantly understand what you are saying. This process is and seems to be getting even more complicated. I know it will all be worth it in the long run, but it is very hard working through all these issues. I am processing the conversation we had this evening and it is a lot to think about it continues to get even more overwhelming. I am determined to work through all of this. I refuse to allow myself or my children be in a unhealthy family/life.
I am trying to hold it together. It's just hard sometimes. Thanks for your support.counselor/pastor and email last night after our meeting and he responded."

Counselors email:

"You don't have to apologize....your growing.....I do realize how difficult this is....I wish this was not the path that you were
on. I pray that God would break through in AH life...you never know what He will do....all you can do is pray...ask Him for strength
and wisdom. I am constantly amazed how you are processing this and grappling with some heavy issues....you will get through this!!! You
have taken major steps forward. Read Psalm 37.....the first 15 verses..this is the passage where I turn at all the major crossroads of my life....."

Still Waters

Hang in there CAAW, I know exactly how you feel. I too have moments when I want to just hide from everything, when it gets too overwhelming.

But, the reward at the end is worth the pain and effort.

SailorKaren

It sounds like you are making some great progress for you! Inner work can be very demanding. I have felt the exhaustion you describe many times. I often found my job to be a helpful place, because I could use it to take my mind off all the processing for a while. I think taking time to get away from inner work is actually an important part of integrating it into my life. Studies have shown, for example, that we need a sleep cycle to fully remember newly learned information. Go to a movie! Keep rest in your mix, and the time you spend with us and on your process, will be more productive.