Please tell me I will get through this!

Old 08-28-2009, 12:19 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: South Australia
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Venice,
I was exactely in your shoes 2 years ago when I left AH. He sent me a very professional email to let me know that
1- he was not moving out
2- the house was the kids' house and therefore, there was no way they were moving out.
3- I was the one with a problem, therefore, I was the one who had to move out.
He threatened to get a guy quite influencial in local politics as his lawyer to back his case. He threatened all kinds of things.
In the end, I just told him I was leaving WITH the kids, and he didn't do anything to stop me which really surprised me a bit. But in hindsight, he probably still had hope I would come back so his manipulation for once played in my favour. Now, 2 years later, after he saw I wasn't coming back, he went to a pseudo rehab, still smokes pot, drinks "occasionally". And all the hard work is about to start to finalise the divorce proceedings....
It's all so hard but anyway, I am accumulating hard core evidence that the guy is not fit to have a 50/50 cistody arrangment in place.
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Old 08-28-2009, 06:33 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
1 Corinthians 13:1-13 love
 
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Location: IL
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I have to go back a read all of these when time permits. i have no advice as i am still in the "church" stage. They made the meeting Sept 4. AHHHHHH!!! I asked for an earlier date and the only date they had was impossible for me to go. This was set in the end of July!!!!

If we could agree we were not going to use lawyers. I am so ready to get out I am willing to take his deal. But patients is probably needed on my part. I am all for the 30 day process that can been done when 2 agree and do the paper work themselves. Which would mean meeting on Sept 4 and divorce about a month later and him out of the house.:-) However, it may be wiser to get everything I know I can.

Even though i have not advice I still know you can get through this. It will come to an end quicker then remaining married for the rest of your life, which would be the other option to "get through". :-) And documenting should be....lets say more full, as it seems there is a pattern of the longer marriages to the "functionals" of them going off the wall when we tell them we are getting a divorce. I call it the 8 weeks of hell right after i announced I was divorcing him. Ummm, and then i gave him the chance he wanted and went through it again after he started drinking after a couple of sober days and AA.


You can do it. And I would advice, :-), don't be like me and not call 911 if he threatens something stupid or crazy, even to himself. I missed my chance to get him out of the house, a right there and right them moment. ( However, if i was working with a lawyer instead of waiting on the elder request I believe I could still use that information to get him out.)

I am curious if anyone who owned/mortagage their home did the non-lawyer approach and how that worked out during and afterwards? ( I need to go back and read this entire thread so if it was covered i will see it later.)
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