onlyliveonce

Zaxby's is GOOD boneless fried chicken strips with seasoned fries and texas toast bread. UUUMMM good!!

Yea I hate it wasn't something minor but it seems like his consequences are fixing to catch up with him fast. Hopefully by the time they actually lock him up I will have my divorce papers filed with the court and ready to be served on him. I don't even know this man anymore. I feel bad for our son who someday will find all this out. Son is on a need to know basis and he's 14 so he dosen't need to know any of this right now and when he need to know I will let him know. I know I wasn't the one to DOOM him, he did that himself.

Barbara52

You aren't that powerful.

As I see it you are being asked to identify the man. Nothing more. Can you identify him? Yup. Does that make you responsible in any way whatsoever for what happens to him based on what ever it is he has done? Nope.

Barbara52

Your son will do fine without him in his life. When he is ready for all the information, I'm sure you will be able to deal with whatever comes your way and so will your son. {hugs}

MeHandle

Freya said:
Yes, beyond this post!!!!!!! i would like to add: A healthy personal behavior is care for others and self. An unhealthy personal behavior cares more for others then self(= co-dependent behavior) or cares for self with disregard for others.(= selfish behavior)

Onlyliveonce: I have been with my mother when she was asked to identify her own daughter, my sister. Very hard to be asked to do. But simple too, " Is this her?" Answer is yes or no, or I truly am not sure and done. the officer thanks you for your time. As Dgillz said, not identifying him doesn't stop the procedure of them trying to force you to come forward. Identification ends your involvement sooner, instead of later.

Think of it this way maybe: Is he really still your husband, in sprit? He has abandoned you ( i don't care if you threw him out, still has abandoned ) and he is "living in a van / with cokewhore sister" with another woman. One reason the marital stipulation is there is because a husband and wife are a unit, which means a wife could end up implicating herself or sacrifice all her own interest related to marriage. It appears neither would, at present, be a conscious issue for you.

You can be free and not be anxious over this. You are only providing the police with the service of acknowledging you know the person and have the ability to identify him. Why ever they need an identification you can choose to ask or decline wanting to know the reasons. Also note: that providing the service of identification also means that the police might eliminate him from a person of interest if you believe it is not him.

Your are not putting him anywhere, the police are doing there job. You are helping the police, not hurting your AH. He would be receiving the consequences of hurting himself.

Going to jail may safe his life. My sister would tell you it saved her life, and that God had to show her "mercy" this way more then once. I would say going to jail was something God used to save her life. Prison is not the worst thing that can happen.


love tammy

MeHandle

oops, sometimes I skip reading everything in a post so that I don't get sidetracked. I write, then I go back. See you talked to the investigator. :-)

NoelleR

I guess I should preface this with.....most folks tell me that I should keep my suggestions regarding children to myself as I've never had any children (of my own, that is).....BUT, I have helped in the rearing of several children, so I do have some experience......a wee bit, at least.

In my bit of experience with children I've found that us oldsters seem to underestimate most children. Now, I'm not telling you that you should tell your son all that's going on, but the 14 y/o's I've dealt with were old enough to handle this kind of knowledge. In fact, many felt honored to be included in some 'grown-up stuff.'

My only suggestion might be, to first off have a conversation with your son as to what he already knows; what he thinks he may know....along those lines. Then you could make the decision as to how much more he maybe should know (but not in an accusatory way against his father). ...something along the line of.....: it appears that your father may be getting himself into some more troubling stuff now.....and then take it from there as to how he reacts with that.

The hairs on my neck are tingling.....sometimes kids learn stuff from other kids or ..... who know where they get their info, but if your son finds out some of the things you're trying to protect him from.....sometimes, some kids get 'ticked-off' for being excluded.....

.....anyway, just wanted to share a couple of things from my past experience; may not be the best; heck, may not even be close to what you're dealing with........but so far, all I got to say to you is......goodonya, you're doing a great job................ (o:


NoelleR