Left and am staying in a hotel tonight with the kids
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Aw Wife2Kids what a wonderful son, he is totally right, you did not wreck anything, OK?
Good for him to see you crying and doing the hard stuff anyway. Good lessons that will help him in life......
You are very brave!!!!!!!!!
Keep us posted, I am thinking of you.
Good for him to see you crying and doing the hard stuff anyway. Good lessons that will help him in life......
You are very brave!!!!!!!!!
Keep us posted, I am thinking of you.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
((((wife2kids))))
You're doing great! What great children you have.
A social worker(friend) told me to let my children hear me crying, even boo hoo sobbing. They need to know that adults get sad and hurt too. It's better to let it out than keep it pent up unexpressed.
You've accomplished a lot in a short amount of time. Get some rest. Take deep breaths.
We care about you and your boys!
You're doing great! What great children you have.
A social worker(friend) told me to let my children hear me crying, even boo hoo sobbing. They need to know that adults get sad and hurt too. It's better to let it out than keep it pent up unexpressed.
You've accomplished a lot in a short amount of time. Get some rest. Take deep breaths.
We care about you and your boys!
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
Wife2Kids:
Make sure that lawyer of yours gets you back into your house until the divorce is settled BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE KIDS and the judge will order him out of the house. I forget what it is called in the legal term but the judge gave my friend, whose husband was a drug addict, the house and made the man move out.
Also, you could see if there is another woman with kids in your area who could house-share.
I did go to the atty. today and signed on the dotted line and gave him my retainer. He told me that it would take 2 weeks before I could get a court date and in the meantime I needed to figure out how to get home with the kids. I cannot afford the house on my own (well I was trying to--not working) and am happy to move. Anyway, his office just called and said they got a court date for the temporary order for Monday at 3:30.
Also, you could see if there is another woman with kids in your area who could house-share.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
wife2kids-
thanks for the update. alice is right, you just keep putting one foot in front of the other. none of this stuff is pleasant but you are making good progress. it might be easier for you if you go no contact with your stbxAH and let the lawyers handle it, if you feel shaky. although you say you're shaky, you sound quite resolved.
i know that your world is upside down right now and there is a lot of uncertainty about the future...where will you live...where will you work...will the children understand...etc.
it is best to let the worries of the day, be enough for the day. one step at a time. it will be over soon and then you will be free!
thanks for the update. alice is right, you just keep putting one foot in front of the other. none of this stuff is pleasant but you are making good progress. it might be easier for you if you go no contact with your stbxAH and let the lawyers handle it, if you feel shaky. although you say you're shaky, you sound quite resolved.
i know that your world is upside down right now and there is a lot of uncertainty about the future...where will you live...where will you work...will the children understand...etc.
it is best to let the worries of the day, be enough for the day. one step at a time. it will be over soon and then you will be free!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 693
Court today at 3:30-for the temp. order. Go see my atty. in an hour. I would be happy for prayers, good vibes any any other positive energy sent this way. This morning (still at the hotel) my older DS started to cry because he is afraid the judge will make him go live with his father and was asking me to promise he would not have to do that. I told him I would do everything in my power to make sure he and his brother would live with me and he could still see his dad.
Lawyer said filing day is the hardest day--this day seem pretty hard too. Got a strong talking to from my sister yesterday who told me to just let the atty. deal with it all since STBXAH has started to do some stuff that seems less on the up and up. He has his family surrounding him and they are the biggest group of enablers on the planet. So I am sure I have been dubbed the bit** from he**. Don't care. Just want them away from me. If they cannot figure out why I am finished and don't want to support their son, brother and whatever anymore--well, that is their thing.
Thanks. I'll let you know how things go. I am nervous.
Lawyer said filing day is the hardest day--this day seem pretty hard too. Got a strong talking to from my sister yesterday who told me to just let the atty. deal with it all since STBXAH has started to do some stuff that seems less on the up and up. He has his family surrounding him and they are the biggest group of enablers on the planet. So I am sure I have been dubbed the bit** from he**. Don't care. Just want them away from me. If they cannot figure out why I am finished and don't want to support their son, brother and whatever anymore--well, that is their thing.
Thanks. I'll let you know how things go. I am nervous.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: OHIO
Posts: 959
Just breathe hunny and remember....if God takes you to it ...he will see you through it.
And God never lies.
What a very strong and empowered mother your children have......its so good to see that your children are witnesses to your courage and bravery. Carry on little one.
The best moves you make in your life are never easy ones are they ??
And God never lies.
What a very strong and empowered mother your children have......its so good to see that your children are witnesses to your courage and bravery. Carry on little one.
The best moves you make in your life are never easy ones are they ??
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 693
Things went OK. My atty. said maybe we should show up 15 minutes early to see if STBXAH would be there and we could talk to him. He was and we did and many things were sorted out--lots of the big things. Like I get to move back in the house with the kids, child support and my request to put the house up for sale immediately.
Since he is self employed he gets the house during the day 9-5 while I am at home and kids are in school, preschool until the house sells. I get the house from 5:30 to 8:30 (when I would get home from work until I would leave to take the kids to school).
There were a few other things decided--but all in all it was not as bad as I thought. STBXAH asked for joint custody--which for now is OK (it would have started a fight) and wants 50-50 placement (I kept my mouth shut since that was not being decided yesterday) and then when I walked out my atty. said--I know, and no he will not get 50-50.
So we are back in the house tonight. Now comes an amazing thing. I talked to my boss about it (why I was gone, etc) and he said that he could get a group of people together to come over to the house this weekend Sat. when STBXAH will have the kids to help get the house ready for sales. As much as I sometime do not like my job--NEVER, NEVER will I ever find a better group of people to work with. We have always been sort of the oddballs of the agency but I discovered when I moved into my division that they are like family. Example above given--he also said he has a huge van and trailer and would help me move to save on that expense. Also, people have been leaving gift cards on my desk for grocery stores and fast food restaurants. I am truly blessed to have the friends I have.
I will keep you posted. I hope the house sells fast.
Since he is self employed he gets the house during the day 9-5 while I am at home and kids are in school, preschool until the house sells. I get the house from 5:30 to 8:30 (when I would get home from work until I would leave to take the kids to school).
There were a few other things decided--but all in all it was not as bad as I thought. STBXAH asked for joint custody--which for now is OK (it would have started a fight) and wants 50-50 placement (I kept my mouth shut since that was not being decided yesterday) and then when I walked out my atty. said--I know, and no he will not get 50-50.
So we are back in the house tonight. Now comes an amazing thing. I talked to my boss about it (why I was gone, etc) and he said that he could get a group of people together to come over to the house this weekend Sat. when STBXAH will have the kids to help get the house ready for sales. As much as I sometime do not like my job--NEVER, NEVER will I ever find a better group of people to work with. We have always been sort of the oddballs of the agency but I discovered when I moved into my division that they are like family. Example above given--he also said he has a huge van and trailer and would help me move to save on that expense. Also, people have been leaving gift cards on my desk for grocery stores and fast food restaurants. I am truly blessed to have the friends I have.
I will keep you posted. I hope the house sells fast.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
What wonderful new! So far so good with the legal matters.
I'm so pleased you have something worked out for the house. Being out of hiding I'm sure is a load off your mind and this definitely gives you a chance to get the place ready.
And what wonderful coworkers and friends you have. Do not be afraid to receive help from other. It is not my nature to accept help from others. I always feel like a big mooch if I do, but I finally let myself be helped by my friend and family and I am so much better for it. It will give you strength to have a posse around you during this time as well.
More blessings to come, I'm sure!!
Alice
I'm so pleased you have something worked out for the house. Being out of hiding I'm sure is a load off your mind and this definitely gives you a chance to get the place ready.
And what wonderful coworkers and friends you have. Do not be afraid to receive help from other. It is not my nature to accept help from others. I always feel like a big mooch if I do, but I finally let myself be helped by my friend and family and I am so much better for it. It will give you strength to have a posse around you during this time as well.
More blessings to come, I'm sure!!
Alice
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
Oh Wife2Kids I am so happy for you! Doesn't it feel great when things like that start to get worked out, like a great weight is just lifted off you? What you said your co-workers are offering is wonderful! Thank you for sharing; you've made me smile tonight!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
