Drunk Mother crashes wiping out family/children
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Drunk Mother crashes wiping out family/children
Non-alcoholic people should realize that 10 drinks is not safe for driving, not even safe for walking. Alcoholic people fail to perceive any problem; denial, self delusion, etc. I can only wonder if her surviving husband knew she was alcoholic and/or maybe also is alcoholic. It is a crap lifestyle that hurts innocent people
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GARDEN CITY, N.Y. – A mother drank vodka and smoked marijuana while taking a vanload of children home from a weekend camping trip that ended in disaster when she went the wrong way on a highway and crashed into an SUV, killing eight people, police said Tuesday.
NY police: Wrong-way crash driver was drunk, high - *****! News
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GARDEN CITY, N.Y. – A mother drank vodka and smoked marijuana while taking a vanload of children home from a weekend camping trip that ended in disaster when she went the wrong way on a highway and crashed into an SUV, killing eight people, police said Tuesday.
NY police: Wrong-way crash driver was drunk, high - *****! News
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"She was a constant, doting presence in her nieces' lives, and our extended family admired her competence, ease with children and sense of humor," it said. "Never has there been a more responsible and trusted friend or caregiver."
i guess this is the denial of the family, or the shock of the whole tragedy. it seems quite unlikely to me that a casual drinker would be driving with children in the car, while drinking and smoking grass. i would render a guess that the family might have known their was a problem, and are dealing with their own guilt.
we all deal with issues like this everyday here at soberrecovery. this article is helpful to putting it all in the proper perspective. thanks steve!
Faerie
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: South Australia
Posts: 396
What a tragic story, what a waste of life, and for what, 10 drinks and some weed.....
I'm weaning myself off codeine and NEVER drive if I have used within 6 hrs [as per my doctor's advice] , i refuse to put myself or others in danger, prescription drugs are dangerous too, nor would I ever drink and drive.
I live in Australia and there are really serious and disturbing anti drink and drug driving ads, and a lot of random breath and drug testing.
My now ex fiance is a pot addict and was driving high once, with me in the car and we nearly had a bad crash. If I hadn't shouted 'watch out' we would have hit the other car T style.
I never got in the car with him again when he was stoned.
It is just so sad that innocent people always seem to be hurt by the irresponsible.
I'm weaning myself off codeine and NEVER drive if I have used within 6 hrs [as per my doctor's advice] , i refuse to put myself or others in danger, prescription drugs are dangerous too, nor would I ever drink and drive.
I live in Australia and there are really serious and disturbing anti drink and drug driving ads, and a lot of random breath and drug testing.
My now ex fiance is a pot addict and was driving high once, with me in the car and we nearly had a bad crash. If I hadn't shouted 'watch out' we would have hit the other car T style.
I never got in the car with him again when he was stoned.
It is just so sad that innocent people always seem to be hurt by the irresponsible.
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Originally Posted by naive 
dear me.
i guess this is the denial of the family, or the shock of the whole tragedy. it seems quite unlikely to me that a casual drinker would be driving with children in the car, while drinking and smoking grass. i would render a guess that the family might have known their was a problem, and are dealing with their own guilt.
we all deal with issues like this everyday here at soberrecovery. this article is helpful to putting it all in the proper perspective. thanks steve!
i guess this is the denial of the family, or the shock of the whole tragedy. it seems quite unlikely to me that a casual drinker would be driving with children in the car, while drinking and smoking grass. i would render a guess that the family might have known their was a problem, and are dealing with their own guilt.
we all deal with issues like this everyday here at soberrecovery. this article is helpful to putting it all in the proper perspective. thanks steve!
I wonder if the woman had ever been to rehab/aa/ anything. I wonder what her credit card/atm/debt card purchase history is about. Is her husband simply an enabler/codie or is he an alkie too?
Is it wrong for me to feel resentment towards someone I never met? Or maybe I have met her already, in the body of another.
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Join Date: Nov 2008
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I read an article about that last night. It is a shame. The more I learn about alcoholism, the more I believe that alcoholics really are unwell. It is almost like a sub-culture that some people know about, but few discuss. I wish that there was a way to help educate the masses on alcoholism and its destructive effects. People talk about cancer, AIDS, and other diseases but not alcoholism or mental illnesses.
Maybe its the "codie" in me, but I wish the stigma would be removed so more folks would seek help.
Maybe its the "codie" in me, but I wish the stigma would be removed so more folks would seek help.
Being Silent so I can Hear
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,521
MissFixit,
At my AH's rehab, the father of another patient was a physician. He repeated over and over "Why is this not part of our training? Why is this not aggressively treated?" etc.
He was devastated over his sons alcoholism and drug addiction.
At my AH's rehab, the father of another patient was a physician. He repeated over and over "Why is this not part of our training? Why is this not aggressively treated?" etc.
He was devastated over his sons alcoholism and drug addiction.
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Join Date: Dec 2007
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that family lives very close to me and i went to the funeral.
it was awful!
five hearses pulled up..
the poor mom of the three little girls had to be practically carried out of the limo..she was collapsing.
people ask..why didnt the drivers husband stop her?
who knows.maybe he drinks too!
people ask .how could she drink so early..so much ..with children in the car?
anyone who knows anything about alcoholism..knows...that THIS IS WHAT THEY DO.
and it was no surprise to me that this new report revealed what it did.
unfortunately..she hit the lowest bottom you can hit................
taking seven others with her.
it was awful!
five hearses pulled up..
the poor mom of the three little girls had to be practically carried out of the limo..she was collapsing.
people ask..why didnt the drivers husband stop her?
who knows.maybe he drinks too!
people ask .how could she drink so early..so much ..with children in the car?
anyone who knows anything about alcoholism..knows...that THIS IS WHAT THEY DO.
and it was no surprise to me that this new report revealed what it did.
unfortunately..she hit the lowest bottom you can hit................
taking seven others with her.
Recovering Nicely
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 935
It is such a tragedy ... I am still very upset over it today. I was reading it in our local paper at lunch, and everyone who knew her said they never saw her drink. Well ... aren't alcoholics/addicts masters at hiding it (their drinking I mean, not their drunkeness)? In my opinion, someone in the family had to know she had a problem. No non-alcoholic (especially a mother) would ever make such a decision to drink, drive, and smoke weed, especially while being responsible for all those children. But, as KMMK said, "this is what they do". It's just so very very sad that she took 7 others with her. Seven others had to die due to her addiction!
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I am so not surprised. When I first read about this tragedy I thought she had to be drunk, on opiates, or have had a stroke. The part where she had called her brother and he said he would come find her but she didn't stay put and couldn't describe where she was...so strange...so sad...had to be some major denial gong on in this family. So sad, all those little kids and the other vehicle too...UGH.
peace all -
b
peace all -
b
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Originally Posted by Bernadette
I am so not surprised. When I first read about this tragedy I thought she had to be drunk, on opiates, or have had a stroke. The part where she had called her brother and he said he would come find her but she didn't stay put and couldn't describe where she was...so strange...so sad...had to be some major denial gong on in this family. So sad, all those little kids and the other vehicle too...UGH.
peace all -
b
peace all -
b
I first saw the crash story(before toxicology report) and the description of what the mom did (entered the highway against traffic) and my sixth sense and experience with alcoholics behavior told me chemical addiction was involved. A mother with children in the vehicle would be very unlikely to do such a thing with clear mentation(not impossible)
Reasonable judgment and lives were lost. I recall many arguments with my aw when i did not allow her to drive. I took the car keys from her as soon as I realized there was a alcohol problem and potential serious accident. I became her devout enemy but perhaps saved a life or two....
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Originally Posted by naive
i don't feel resentment, steve. i feel grief at what this disease continues to do to innocent people, including myself. i just keep reminding myself:
i am powerless over alcohol.
i am powerless over alcohol.
My aw planned her work schedule, YES, work schedule around her drinking schedule. The drinking schedule had priority.
Had Diane Schuler postponed/planned her "bender" until after the children were home, innocent lives would not have been stupidly lost. I say stupidly lost as people died simply cause that first drink was more important than the lives of children and the lives of the people in the other vehicle.
Even friends of mine in recovery have a great deal of animosity towards this loss of life.
Recovering Nicely
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Steve, your friends in recovery, key words "in recovery" have animosity toward this loss of life. I would be willing to be no active alcoholic/addict feels that way. Again, it's "what they do". My AH thinks if you don't see him drink, you don't know he's drunk. And he drives that way all the time (I'm at work, I can't stop him, I've called the police several times to no avail).
Another thought I've been having on this subject: I think her brother had to know she was drunk/high when she called and that she had a problem. During that phone call to her brother, supposedly he spoke to his 9 yo daughter also, then his sister again, and told her to "stay put" and he would come get them because she "felt ill and disoriented". If you, I or millions of others had gotten this phone call from our sister, driving 5 kids under the age of 9 in a car, yes, we would tell them to stay put, we would be on our way to get them, but in the meantime, I think we all would have called 911 to get an ambulence on the scene while we were on our way up there 1) to take care of the "sick sister" who may be having a stroke, going into a diabetic coma, etc. and could possibly die before we reached in (takes approx. 1 hour to get to her) and 2) to keep the kids safe on a major interstate highway while she was having a medical emergency and possibly dying. Correct? Something sounds awfully fishy here, like he didn't want to get her in trouble for driving while intoxicated or something. But unfortunately, his enabling backfired in his face cause she wound up not listening, did not stay put and drove the wrong way on a parkway killing all but one in the car, and other innocent drivers. This is such a tragedy!
Another thought I've been having on this subject: I think her brother had to know she was drunk/high when she called and that she had a problem. During that phone call to her brother, supposedly he spoke to his 9 yo daughter also, then his sister again, and told her to "stay put" and he would come get them because she "felt ill and disoriented". If you, I or millions of others had gotten this phone call from our sister, driving 5 kids under the age of 9 in a car, yes, we would tell them to stay put, we would be on our way to get them, but in the meantime, I think we all would have called 911 to get an ambulence on the scene while we were on our way up there 1) to take care of the "sick sister" who may be having a stroke, going into a diabetic coma, etc. and could possibly die before we reached in (takes approx. 1 hour to get to her) and 2) to keep the kids safe on a major interstate highway while she was having a medical emergency and possibly dying. Correct? Something sounds awfully fishy here, like he didn't want to get her in trouble for driving while intoxicated or something. But unfortunately, his enabling backfired in his face cause she wound up not listening, did not stay put and drove the wrong way on a parkway killing all but one in the car, and other innocent drivers. This is such a tragedy!
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Years ago I knew a woman in Al-Anon whose RAH was a pilot for United. He flew the big jets. In the years he was drinking, he scheduled his drinking around his flight itinerary. She said he never once flew drunk.
My guess is that he was lucky and got sober before the "yet" happened. He had not crashed an airliner full of passengers yet.
"Yet" happened tragically to a woman who was not ready to give up the drug. She was likely enabled for quite some time by people who thought they could "control" the effects of her drinking. Probably why the relative said stay put and he'd be there. We think we can handle it. We don't call outsiders for help. We keep the problem a secret. We minimize the danger. I was married to an alcoholic briefly many years ago and, with no knowledge of alcoholism, I did all those things. And I see family members of alcoholics doing the same, all the time.
But, as the famous quote goes,
Once you know better, you do better.
Or should.
Bluejay
My guess is that he was lucky and got sober before the "yet" happened. He had not crashed an airliner full of passengers yet.
"Yet" happened tragically to a woman who was not ready to give up the drug. She was likely enabled for quite some time by people who thought they could "control" the effects of her drinking. Probably why the relative said stay put and he'd be there. We think we can handle it. We don't call outsiders for help. We keep the problem a secret. We minimize the danger. I was married to an alcoholic briefly many years ago and, with no knowledge of alcoholism, I did all those things. And I see family members of alcoholics doing the same, all the time.
But, as the famous quote goes,
Once you know better, you do better.
Or should.
Bluejay
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Originally Posted by bluejay6
Years ago I knew a woman in Al-Anon whose RAH was a pilot for United. He flew the big jets. In the years he was drinking, he scheduled his drinking around his flight itinerary. She said he never once flew drunk.
Bluejay
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The fiery crash killed Schuler, her 2-year-old daughter, three young nieces and three men in the SUV.........An autopsy found she had a 0.19 blood-alcohol reading at the time of the crash, well above the legal limit of 0.08,
These three MEN couldn't tell she was drunk?? At 0.19 they didn't realize there was something wrong? That something was not right??
Makes me wonder, honestly. The autopsy said there was no evidence of liver failure to prove alcohol abuse over years. But the only reason I can think of why a grown man couldn't recognize 0.19 as drunk would be if her drunken state is what they were used to seeing.
These three MEN couldn't tell she was drunk?? At 0.19 they didn't realize there was something wrong? That something was not right??
Makes me wonder, honestly. The autopsy said there was no evidence of liver failure to prove alcohol abuse over years. But the only reason I can think of why a grown man couldn't recognize 0.19 as drunk would be if her drunken state is what they were used to seeing.
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