Do you tell the alcoholic why you aren't doing it
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: London, UK
Posts: 927
You know if something is your stuff to deal with or his his. If he says things like.. He gets mad and starts a "How do you think I feel?" "I know I got DUIs. You don't have to remind me." that still doesn't make it your stuff.
What he's doing is trying to engage you in thinking about his feelings.. once you put yourself in someone's shoes you're more likely to assist and enable.. you have empathy. Next time he says/does something like that imagine those words wrapped up in a box, like a gift. He's holding them out to you to take. Once you take them they become yours and you know he will walk away from them. Do not take them, instead imagine YOU turning and walking away.. do this physically if you are able.. and leave him with his 'gift' to open or drop to the ground. YOU do not need to take ownership of it and he can't give you ownership unless you take it.
What he's doing is trying to engage you in thinking about his feelings.. once you put yourself in someone's shoes you're more likely to assist and enable.. you have empathy. Next time he says/does something like that imagine those words wrapped up in a box, like a gift. He's holding them out to you to take. Once you take them they become yours and you know he will walk away from them. Do not take them, instead imagine YOU turning and walking away.. do this physically if you are able.. and leave him with his 'gift' to open or drop to the ground. YOU do not need to take ownership of it and he can't give you ownership unless you take it.
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