swert

Thank you very much SR, thank to all of you my friends. I know I haven't been here for a long time but at the crutial time for me. Well, I need to save myself and the kids. My ah can hadle with no drink only up to one week. By himself of course, because he doesn't have a problem. You people put a light in my head and hope in my heart. I'm strong, I'm not insane and I'm intelligent person. I can't be here anymore. My husband looses job in the end of August and he's looking in Idho, in the meantime he ordered today Direct Tv. We have already 800 dollars in other copanies for a tv I don't even need. He came today drunk and blasted because he took pain killers. Two weeks ago he made some damage at some Italian bar and was beaten up by some italian sicilian guys. He was talking to his cousin today about it he said "it was funny". loool. Setting here has no sense. I don't wanna be here when he'll do more crazy things.
THe question: how do you leave ah with three small kids, no job and money?
Should I first get some children custody or something? What else should I do? He goes to war there is blood.

jehnifer

hey i am glad youre here and posted what was going on with you. it must be very difficult for you. is there a womens shelter you could check out? others will be along shortly and will hopefully post other resources to help you get out of your current situation. good luck to you. you do deserve better and you sound like a wise andstrong woman.

isurvived

Call your nearest Women's shelter. They can provide you with a place to stay that is safe, where you can be with your children. They will also help you with securing job training, employment and daycare for the little ones, clothing, food, and even legal expenses.

God speed and Good luck.

swert

My plan is to go to my mother-in law. She knows the situation. That would be easier for the kids to be with the people they love. I just don't know how to technically get from nyc to pittsburgh ;-) loool I must be crrrrraaaazy. ;-)))) I don't know if I should get any custody or whatever to take the kids.

Pelican

Evidence. Take pictures. Has he had a dui? Is there a police report from the fight? or any other fights? Pictures of booze, recycle bin full of empty bottles, or liqour store receipts. I also kept paycheck stubs and taxes to prove earning potential. My child support and alimony are based on earnings over the last two years.

Here is a link to one of the sticky posts about leaving:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ationship.html

You will need a lawyer to file for seperation or divorce so that you and the children will be protected from his alcoholic behaviors (dui, fighting, debt). That will also provide financial support for you and the children. That is why I filed for divorce, to protect myself and my children from the fianacial fallout of active alcoholism.

I'm glad your MIL is supportive and willing to house you and 3 children. It's nice to have family around. Just keep in mind that this is your MIL's son you are leaving and she may support you in seperating, but she may not support a divorce or legal action against her son. Sometimes our family is in denial about the negative aspect of addiction.

Take care of YOU

isurvived

If you are leaving out of state, it would be a good idea to FIRST seek the advice of an attorney.