Just go already.

Old 07-31-2009, 01:45 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
A jug fills drop by drop
 
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Hey ItsmeAlice, great inner work going on there, how are you doing? are you out already? I hope so!!!!!!

Sending you good vibes during this transition.
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Old 07-31-2009, 02:03 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Sending you hugs and good wishes too, Alice. Let us know when you're settled, and how you're feeling. I imagine it'll feel a little weird at first
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Old 07-31-2009, 02:18 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by ItsmeAlice View Post
Vicarious -
I absolutely get what you mean. I had this overwhelming inner rage as a child. I felt like I was always pointing out the truth in things and being told "oh, that's not true" and "don't be silly."

No one would listen. No one would validate my feelings. The sky could be blue and they would intentionally argue the point. I felt terminally frustrated and alone.

Nothing has changed since I became an adult. In fact, the only choice I could make was to back away from my family and only return on my terms. When I did return it was with my STBXABF in tow. He made being around them bearable. He saw their behavior the way I did. They would ask me a question seemingly interested in my work or me and then immediately turn away and ignore me when I began speaking to answer them. He was flabbergasted. That validation was everything to me!

In time, I came to feel the same sense of inner rage over the insanity that is his alcohol addiction. I would point out what I thought was something obvious such as you spent $xxx amount on beer this week. We can't afford the electric bill now. He would so adminant in denying the truth that I there was nothing I could say.

Now, I am back to the same old choice where I have to back away from him the way I did my family.
I could so much relate to this post. I too was invalidated as a child and now XABF does the same...with the insanity of alcoholism lies. I'm encouraged to hear that you are moving on, and I also don't think it sounded 'codie' but necessary to get your own space.
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Old 07-31-2009, 05:33 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
May it be
 
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Shhh take a nap in peace...

It's worth the wait
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