Crazy4Him

I'm proud of you for recognizing your feelings as paramount above all else, knowing what you want and being strong enough to follow through on what you know in your gut is best for you. And only you.

I'm sure you can remember a time when you couldn't do that for yourself. I know I do.

Huge step forward if you ask me. You inspire me! :ghug3

TakingCharge999

(((hugs)))

Well today I was waiting for the elevators and xabf stood there next to me... I was not wearing my dark glasses and he was, ughhh... there was a guy checking something because an elevator got stuck. I realized with my luck our elevator would get stuck too

So i just left and took the stairs. probably he thinks i still miss him and cant bear being next to him. Whatever.........

Then i arrive to my place and my teammates are making a fuss about how delicious the restaurant is, very excited about spending time outside the office, etc. and exabf's team lead also made a fuss to me and was surprised i had confirmed before, as i have missed every event so far

And i am back in doubt ahhhhhhhhhhh

But i think i got the solution, today i was not wearing my normal glasses either, so i couldnt really "see" exabf, i just felt his "presence" and his overall attitude...I did not really see him well LOL. So I-m thinking its not fair to me to cancel myself out and I am sure he will get as far away as possible from me with his usual drunken coworkers... I can go without glasses so i can just see ppl next to me and just see a blurry guy far away, then if I overhear him I will imagine he is the ex's evil twin.

Yes indeed, in this road lies madness. I think wow, how wonderful, you work and your ex never goes anywhere nor talks to your friends anymore and you can "go as usual"

He will be really surprised if I go in spite of him

Now I am angry !!!!!!! and getting mad at myself, but today I am taking some dance lessons so hope I take this out then

.......

In writing this I already noticed my real problem, which is expecting to know how I will feel in the future.

On THU I will prepare myself for going out.

Then in the afternoon I will see if my going out is for>>
/ the dinner
/ my bf
/ going to the park with kitty

I got 3 choices that day.

UGH I am truly sick, so many things going on in the world, and people facing really tough stuff and here I am spending too many thoughts for something so shallow and stupid!!!



In other news, my team lead is not here so I will bring my kitty to work later on today!! they bring kids sometimes.. so i hope i am allowed... and I no longer have any call pending i am excited!

TakingCharge999

i hope there is an alien abduction where they take ex to Whiskey Planet hey its not so far fetched LOL

thanks anvil you are right, no more wondering!! god sent me TONS of work today so its a blessing to get out of my codie addictive self no siree not going there anymore!! JUST FOR TODAY


it turns out it was good, a team lead sent this to many upper managers so looks good to participate for once

living in the present helps so much not to worry!! brb, go to prepare some lunch and grab the kitty, i am also worried it spends too much enclosed in one room only (still waiting for the plastic things for its claws, i ordered via internet!)

its great they let your daughter take a dog!!

Still Waters

I still say cleavage, though fuzzy eyesight is good too

TakingCharge999

LOL SW
I dont show cleavage, NEVER ever done is that bad? specially as its ALL men it makes me feel rather uncomfortable... but my one girl friend here has a lot and shows a lot and seems rather unamused, so I will try to learn from her! for other outings that is

fuzzy eyesight? more like no eyesight, I cannot work out a face near me. Thank God for my myopia which assists in times of need.

in a moment i will go to some dance lessons, i feel as fat as a cow and i need ENDORPHINES

Still Waters

Well, I'd show cleavage...if I had any

TakingCharge999

I look fabulous. I am straightening my hair now.

I know you all were unable to sleep wondering this. LOL

For brunettes, dark green clothes looks striking!!!!

Still Waters

I call shotgun!!!

(anvil will know what I mean, and no I'm not gonna shoot anyone....)

TakingCharge999

Time to go, will let you know how it goes. Unfortunately down here its customary to say hi between woman and man with a kiss.

Talk about tasting my DOC. I can't NOT kiss him, it would look bad.

UGH I am dreading it but at the same time I am excited in spite of anything I will be there... ughhhhhhhh first company event I allow myself to go, but I know I can do it

Still Waters

Have fun!!!!

Freedom1990

Apparently the day the booby train was in town, I missed the memo, so I can relate!

outtolunch

We all have a tendency to think other people give a flying fig about us.
One of the most important life lessons I have learned is "nobody cares". By this I mean the transitional people who pass through our day to day lives.

Each of these co-workers as his own issues that are far more pressing than some passing tension between two co-workers, now parted.

Go. Be yourself. Enjoy yourself. No need to parade your current BF. Remember nobody cares.

Faerie

Can't wait to hear how it went you Goddess you!

Give Dolce a big kiss from us all when you get home.

TakingCharge999

Aw thanks a lot, I can say I was tempted to bring bf, but I respect him a lot and really don't want to have my bf and an ex in the same area. People gossip a lot. I prefer to see my bf apart from it all and enjoy him, have him only for me

You are right nobody cares anyway...that is a huge relief

Ok so.. THANK YOU FOR CHEERING ME UP AND MOTIVATING ME TO GO! I had a very nice time and ate really good Brazilian steaks, etc. I am full and really satisfied!!

I arranged to have two nice coworkers go with me.. there were other 5 guys that were already there. One was ex's best friend the one who has talked to ex a hundred times about his way of drinking and now sees him as a coworker only. There was also another friend of his that listened to me in my worst codie days, really knows what I went through. He hugged me and said he was really happy I went.

I kind of hesitated to sit just next to them and they were very welcoming to me, asking me about my last trip.. we laughed..and my other friends sat on the other side so I was "covered"

Then the organizer said there were people who told him they may not go after all and one of them was the ex.. I accept I got anxious whenever people came in but after more and more people came and none of them was him I relaxed!! I laughed a lot... and the ex never arrived.

I kind of got "hints" and got the impression that perhaps one of these two guys told him not to go... I was grateful with God he gave me a breathe of fresh air, and my coworkers flattered me, and they told me I was the only woman in Operations, and how I felt about that and that they were protective of me.. very nice people. I got compliments for my looks!

In one corner it was me and these guys, really good vibe, on the other end of the table there were other coworkers that are really friends and are nice guys.

The ones closest to ex were in the middle looked old, bored and with a bad attitude.. They did not even talk to each other!

It was a very good night. I am glad I went ready to face anything. I am glad I did not cancel myself out from this. I am glad I no longer feel invisible. Thank you all for supporting me through this.

Faerie

So happy you had a good time.

You deserved the compliments.

And the evil-ex didn't even show up?

Wicked!

Now go cuddle Dolce.