Freedom1990

I just posted the other day about struggling with the new job and whether I deserve it or not.

Wednesday I had a doctor's appointment for a couple of things, and he asked how the job was going. So we talked a bit about it, and I told him it would really be nice to have a full-time position so I don't have to look for work out of town after I graduate, and he just smiled and told me to trust him, that things were going to be 'shifting' where I work at. I wasn't sure to make of it, so I just put it on the back burner.

Yesterday I got to work at 7:20, and it was just me and my boss. She asked me if I would be interested in a full-time position in the future. I told her of course I would! She told me no definite thing yet, but that her certified coding specialist was going to start working one day a week for my doctor (the light bulb came on then why he said what he did). She really is a good boss as she's been encouraging the coder to take the job despite fearing losing her because this coder has done so much work/testing to become certified in several areas.

I started feeling anxiety bubbling up, and all the as of yet unknowns, and I just turned it right back over to God. The thought of things working out SO well that I get a full-time opening there was really starting to whack at me, so I decided right then and there I was just going to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and take each day as it comes.

I don't know what my HP has in store for me, but I'm going to trust the process and just do the next right thing.

Astro

Good message DeV, I'm happy for you!

GiveLove

I am definitely taking your HP out for coffee and cheesecake next week, DeVon. S/he's really doing a good job of looking out for you. Yeee-haaaa!

ItsmeAlice

It is tough to think that someone can have such wonderous things happen to them and still not be able to fully enjoy them and appreciate what HP has guided them to without working at it.

Is this our codepency talking?? Is this something we condition ourselves to avoid...happiness....bliss....because any minute it will turn to crap when our addict calls and needs someone to fix all their problems??

I applaud you Freedom for stepping outside of yourself and putting a voice to that little agitator inside us all that sabotages our own happiness and beats ourselves up because we don't think we deserve it. You give it a voice and you tell it where it can shove those sentiments. BRAVO!!

I'll make you a deal. You keep letting your HP put down those stepping stones where they need to be to get you to your dream job, and I'll do the same to get me to a new home. Pinky swear on it.

Alice

Freedom1990

You've got a deal!

Impurrfect

(((DeVon)))

I don't think it's any small coincidence that I'm following in your footsteps not only in the schooling/courses, but in the thinking of "I really want this/OMG I might actually get what I want/oh **** can I do this?" I'm only in the first semester and already going through these thoughts.

You are my inspiration in so many ways, and I truly appreciate that you "talk out" your feelings here. It helps me to know that I'm not alone in how I feel and that my plan of "left foot, right foot, pray, and repeat" is a pretty good one. My prayer, since I started recovery, has been "please let me do what I'm supposed to do and You put me where I need to be....deal?"

I am so excited for you!! You DO deserve all the good that is coming to you, so very much.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Freedom1990

Amy, I am so proud of you for doing what you are doing too! I smile every time I read about your classes.

I like the "left foot, right foot, pray, repeat!" :ghug2 :ghug2

Jadmack25

You certainly deserve all the plans your HP has for you. I don't doubt they are all tailor made to suit what you need and just when you need them.

Recognising them can be tricky, but you seem to be doing fine so far.
All the best