blessed4x

After living 22 years with an A, and a couple months without one, I have been thinking about all the lessons I have learned, and all that I have to be thankful for. In general, I'm a glass-half-full kind of gal, but especially this week, after hearing the divorce was final, I've had some real moments of gratitude.

I am thankful for all of the lies and manipulation my XAH heaped on....it taught me to trust me gut and listen for my "radar" to go off.

I am thankful for the children he gave me, and the opportunity he has given me to teach them that even through adversity we can grow stronger.

I am thankful that he has led me to a place where I could learn that I am valuable and I matter....I may never have gotten here if I hadn't been shoved so hard.

I am thankful that I have been given the chance to love the unlovable. He's been pretty nasty and ugly, both in his drinking days and now his dry days. I can love the person and hate the disease....without feeling like he has to continue being a part of my life on a day to day basis.

I am thankful that he has given me the chance to move forward, with clarity, toward the life I know my children and I deserve.

And how could I forget, I am thankful that the path I am on has led me to get to know such incredible fellow-travelers both here and through my Alanon group.

Tonight, I feel like I am living a blessed life.

Bernadette

Wow. Just WOW! You really made me smile reading this!!
peace & continued blessings & serenity!
b

luciddreamrgrl

Amazing! Thank you so much for the pick me up. You are a very strong couragous woman.

blessed4x

So are you! It's been a long road, and I took a bunch of detours.....I'm sure there will be more of those ahead. But that's life, isn't it?!

Any of us who have lived with an A have to make choices...be strong and courageous or die.....figuratively or literally. I think it was LaTeeDa that posted once about feeling old and run down by the time she got to the point of divorce. I was the same. I had aches and pains, couldn't sleep, ate all the wrong foods, was about 30 pounds overweight. When I started taking care of me mentally, those things all improved as well.

GiveLove

Sending you love and hugs tonight, blessed. I needed to hear this tonight!!!

isurvived

Just the mere fact that we come out the other end of these situations with added strength, clarity and still have an ability to love and feel is a blessing!

whyamistaying

I needed to read that...that there are things on this road that maybe one day I'll look back on with a different set of glasses on.

Faerie

Dear Blessed,

You have the greatest blessing of all; Children.

I have poly-cystic ovaries and don't know if I'll ever be able to conceive.

You sound like an incredibly strong and beautiful person and I wish you and your kids all the love a light in the world.

I feel you truly deserve it.

Hugs,

The Faerie with Torn Wings

blessed4x

Faerie.....tis true, my children are my greatest blessing, hence my name "blessed4x" as in "blessed 4 times". Two of my children are biological, 2 are adopted and all 4 equally bless me.....so if it is your heart's desire to parent, no matter how that child (or children) arrives, they will be the perfect one(s) for you.

Faerie

Blessed, that is wonderful you have both biological and adopted children, you must be a very loving person. My fiance and I have agreed that if we can't get pregnant [when the time comes, I'm only 27] we will adopt. I know I will love a child no matter how it comes into my life, we have also decided to adopt an older child as they have a smaller chance of being adopted as babies are more popular. [if that's the right way of putting it] Whatever happens I have faith that I will be a mother one way or another.

Blessed be,

The Faerie with Torn Wings

LaTeeDa

It was me, and the scary thing is, I was resigned to the idea that this was how my life was to turn out. As good as it gets, waiting to die.

That was almost four years ago, and while I have had some ups and downs, I have to say that I have a lot of life left to live! I feel alive and strong and thankful for each day when I wake up in the morning. Never thought I would feel this way--never.

I'm so happy for you Blessed.

L