Rose56

I am so drained. Big blow up at my house as usual. It starts with my son wanting to take my car to the store. I said no, he could take one of the other cars. Then he complains that he doesn't understand why I can say no to him taking my car when his Dad can take his car when ever he wants. He won't just leave it at that and keeps at me until I blow up and start screaming at him. THen suddenly everyone is screaming and......can you feel the tears yet. I am so drained trying to meet everyone's needs and being responsible for everything that goes wrong.

I feel like no one really cares about me anymore. I know my sister cand friends care but they are not here. They would never really know what is going on in my life. My family members don;t care about me, they don't care that I feel like I could just pop. Oh well I am going to go now because I just keep getting deeper and deeper. Time to go for a walk and take some of those deep breaths.

Gabe

WE CARE!!
I'm sorry that you had a blow up at your house. Those things do have a tendency to drain your very self right out of you. I hope you took that walk and those deep breaths. Sometimes that is just what you need to get back on track. A long soak in a hot tub usually regenerates my weakened spirit as well.
Big hugs to you Rose. There are candles lit in my house tonight and they are sending good, positive vibes your way.
Peace,
Gabe

LongStrangeTrip

I care very much because I know exactly how you are feeling. I've had a really bad 24 hours and all I want to do is get past it and move into the next 24 hours peacefully and able to cope a lot better than today.

God Bless us all.

smoke gets in my eyes

(((( Rose! ))))

Subtract one thing from the list of things you do for each person who crossed you today. It doesn't have to be a big thing. Little rebellions are fabulous. Like... oh... are you the one who always calls for the pizza? Instead tell your son what toppings to order. Now don't budge. Watch his head spin. You have to be prepared to do without pizza the first time you try this. But believe me it will be the tastiest peanut butter sandwich you ever ate. Don't make one for anyone else. Do you get Pepsi for everybody when you go to the fridge for yours? Don't. If they see you on the way to the kitchen and start placing orders say "my hands will be full when I come back, sorry". See their jaws go slack. Do you leave the last piece of cake for someone else? Eat it. Leave the empty plate at your spot at the table until at least one person sees it.

Hugs!
Smoke

2many2count

Oh Rose....Big Hugs your way!!!
I have turned into the Queen B**** at my house because I feel like I get taken for granted alot. I just throw the "orders" out and make them do it or they get no privledges which sucks for them and not me. You have got to Throw it back at 'em! It sounds mean but what my kids were doing to me was awful until I wisened up!

In my thoughts tonight.

Holly

JT

Rose,

FINALLY!

I was starting to think you jumped off a bridge or something.

I like Smoke's ideas. Don't jump....push!

Hugs,
JT

By the way....those things Smoke was talking about are a faaaaabulous source of entertainment. They really lift your spirits!

Rose56

Thanks friends for your thoughts. I will think about what adjustments I can make today. Everyone is still sleeping at my house and of course I have been up for hours walking the dog and washing MY car. Now I plan to go out for the rest of the day. I just don't want to be with any of them for awhile. I plan to go to a movie by myself. I have just started doing that this past year, it is great, I can go see what I want , when I want.

I have an appointment with a new counselor this THursday. She comes highly recommended by my sister. I am hoping this will help me move on to the next step. Thanks again for your caring.

Oh on another note, last week I took this professional certification test that I have been wanting to do for years. I started studying for it in April and I took a preparation class to prepare too. Well I took the test last week and I passed it!!! It is a huge accomplishment for me. I am so pleased and feel so relieved to have passed it the first time. It was a 4 hour test. My husband is so out of touch with me that he forgot I took the test and never did ask if I passed. Oh well. I went shopping on Sat and bought myslef a new fall outfit to celebrate!! The outfit was expensive and it will look great on me!!!!

I keep thinking how nice it would be to live alone, with no one to pressure you or want things from you. But I better just learn how to deal with the pressure better. FOr today I am going out and not coming back for many hours!!!

journeygal

((((((Rose))))))

Congrats on passing your certification!!!! That is so awesome and I'm glad you took yourself out to celebrate. I go to the movies by myself all the time and while it felt weird to me in the beginning, it feels completely normal and enjoyable to me these days.

Enjoy your day and remember, keep taking it just one day at a time. By the way, we all care, very very much.

Hugs,
JG

constant

Rose,

Congrat's!!!! That is wonderful and definately deserves a new fall outfit!!!!

A movie is one of my favorite things.....totally occupies the mind and really offers a break for me.

You should really be proud of yourself.....we are!!!

Blessings,
Constant

BTW-Smoke's advice in great, I started doing these little things and my family is totally in shock, but I think they are getting it!!

Ann

****{Rose}}

Congratulations on getting your certificate - you are awesome and doing this was a wonderful thing.

Congratulations on buying the new outfit, to celebrate and to do something nice for yourself.

Congratulations on planning something nice for yourself instead of spending the day with ungrateful people.

You rock lady!!!!

I like Smokes suggestions too. It took me forever to say "No, YOU can do it". For so long I was the only "doer" and just got tired of the job.

Hugs
Ann