whyamistaying

Codependent No More and her other book to work the 12 steps. I have to tell you all---I am codependent. I thought I wasn't really that codependent, but I am. There is no denying it.

I am up to Chapter 14 and I can relate to every chapter. Tonight I'm going to work on the activities she has at the end of each chapter and go back and start with the first chapter. Then work on her other book (forgot the name b/c it is not in front of me) but working on the 12 steps for codependents.

I just had to share.

ItsmeAlice

I have the same books. So glad you are digging right into them. I have to say I started strong with them and kind fizzled out. I am an extremely slow reader and I felt I was reading the same concept over and over in the first few chapters that I read.

When you get into the codependent's guide to the 12 steps, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.

From one recovering codependent to another...It's a rough journey but it's so much sweeter once your get there!!

Alice

GiveLove

I remember the eye-opening experience of reading that book for the first time. Like you, I had resisted it like crazy.

But there it was in black and white. And you know what? Once I stopped resisting and instead became committed to working on myself (like you are) life started getting better by leaps and bounds. "He" didn't change, but I started unfolding into a stronger woman who was able to handle anything.

I hope you have that same amazing experience.

Way to go!!!!!

sandrawg

This is great! Just like there should be no shame in admitting you're an alcoholic, there's no shame in admitting you're codependent. Acknowledging it is the first step to taking charge of your life and not being one any longer

whyamistaying

Exactly! You all kept telling me what am I going to do for ME? In my mind, I kept thinking I am doing stuff for me, the kids and I get out, ect. I was thinking, I'm not a codependent, I don't call into work sick for him.

But when I read the beginning chapters, it hit me like a ton of bricks. (BTW I finished the book). I identified with what she said:

"It is natural to want to protect and help the people we care about. It is also natural to be affected by and react to the problems of people around us. As a problem becomes more serious and remains unresolved, we become more affected and react more intensely to it. ....[i]t is progressive. As the people around us become sicker, we may begin to react more intensely. What began as a little concern may trigger isolation, depression, emotional or physical illness... One thing leads to another, and things get worse."

I also highlighted this part on p. 72 of her book:

"We are like singers in a large chorus. If the guy next to us gets off key, must we? Wouldn't it help him, and us, more to strive to stay on key? We can learn to hold our part."

There was a ton more that stuck out, but I can see how I became this codependent person. My thoughts were obsessed with it. I think like PTSD. You just live one crisis through the next and you start not thinking of youself.

I will start my step book today.

Thanks everyone for the supporting and helping me get here.

Learn2Live

THAT IS AWESOME!!! Good for you!
So I had to put all these in here: Hope you like them SMILE!