ever just angry?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 26
ever just angry?
i mean, i don't care that i can't have a drink anymore. i will go out from time to time but sometimes it's just annoying. and it's always "there". it's not going to go away. i'm tired of talking about it. i'm tired of being concerned that i'm going to say the wrong thing. i LOVE my husband. i truly believe we are soul mates. we are having a tough time, mostly because he is having a tough time and right now, i'm tired of his hard time. he's been uber sweet to me, telling me how bad he feels that i have to go thru this and what he's done to me. i, really, just don't want to talk about it. i really don't. maybe i should. but then what, make him feel bad for what he did and how he acted. i mean, he doesn't even remember "that" day, the beginning of the end or whatever.
maybe nothing i say makes sense. maybe i should try harder to be better or understand but right now, i just don't care. i want to be left alone about it all. maybe it's all the stress of life that is the problem. lost my job a year ago, waiting to get this school thing taken care of and trying to get a job while in school, taking care of my kids, trying to fill the day. we've got two more months before we're going to have financial issues. maybe all of that is my problem. my goodness. i'm just rambling. but i need to ramble. i'm so very lost right now.
maybe nothing i say makes sense. maybe i should try harder to be better or understand but right now, i just don't care. i want to be left alone about it all. maybe it's all the stress of life that is the problem. lost my job a year ago, waiting to get this school thing taken care of and trying to get a job while in school, taking care of my kids, trying to fill the day. we've got two more months before we're going to have financial issues. maybe all of that is my problem. my goodness. i'm just rambling. but i need to ramble. i'm so very lost right now.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Hi FB!
Breathe deeply...
Perhaps it can help to put your worries in paper? As another poster has in her signature (sorry I do not remember who!)
"action is the remedy of despair" or something like that.
Listing all of them and having some steps to tackle the issues, helps a great deal.... and if there is any worry you do not know how to approach feel free to throw it in here... this forum is full of intelligent and creative people
If the kids are a constant worry, isn't there any family member or close friend that can watch them? so you can have some "alone time" to make that list or unwind
This too shall pass.... this is just a "passing show"
I agree with the yoga advice.. perhaps this simple exercise?
Breathe out / exhale completely.
Breathe in / while you are doing it, count from 1 to 4.
Hold/ count from 1 to 4.
Exhale / count from 1 to 4.
Hold / count from 1 to 4.
C'mon, don't look at me like that, just try it never underestimate breathing as an excellent coping and stress mgmt technique.
www.brelaxed.co.uk/page8b.htm
Breathe deeply...
Perhaps it can help to put your worries in paper? As another poster has in her signature (sorry I do not remember who!)
"action is the remedy of despair" or something like that.
Listing all of them and having some steps to tackle the issues, helps a great deal.... and if there is any worry you do not know how to approach feel free to throw it in here... this forum is full of intelligent and creative people
If the kids are a constant worry, isn't there any family member or close friend that can watch them? so you can have some "alone time" to make that list or unwind
This too shall pass.... this is just a "passing show"
I agree with the yoga advice.. perhaps this simple exercise?
Breathe out / exhale completely.
Breathe in / while you are doing it, count from 1 to 4.
Hold/ count from 1 to 4.
Exhale / count from 1 to 4.
Hold / count from 1 to 4.
C'mon, don't look at me like that, just try it
never underestimate breathing as an excellent coping and stress mgmt technique.www.brelaxed.co.uk/page8b.htm
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: California
Posts: 164
maybe i should try harder to be better or understand but right now, i just don't care. i want to be left alone about it all. maybe it's all the stress of life that is the problem.
Its ok. You have feelings too. Its not like when you found your husband you looked into the future and saw this and said yes this is the life I want.
I am like the worst person at doing this for myself but I think you need to give yourself a break. Feel the feelings and move on.
Take the day off, do something for yourself and be kind to yourself.
Its ok. You have feelings too. Its not like when you found your husband you looked into the future and saw this and said yes this is the life I want.
I am like the worst person at doing this for myself but I think you need to give yourself a break. Feel the feelings and move on.
Take the day off, do something for yourself and be kind to yourself.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,103
You're upset about your finances-that's what it seems like to me.
Are there maybe some little, baby steps you can take to deal with the upcoming potential financial problems, to make you feel like things are at least a little more under control? For example, contacting your credit card companies, or your banks...whatever might need to be done to consolidate bills, get a lower interest rate on debt...anything??
Are there maybe some little, baby steps you can take to deal with the upcoming potential financial problems, to make you feel like things are at least a little more under control? For example, contacting your credit card companies, or your banks...whatever might need to be done to consolidate bills, get a lower interest rate on debt...anything??
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 26
I tend to turn a bit crazy from time to time. I am so ready to get back to work and it's not that easy. Plus, the school I'm planning on attending is impossible. They are slow and it's impossible to get a straight answer out of these people. I've been accepted to the program but am having a hard time getting accepted into the school, only because they suck! Ha ha.
Sometimes I get tired of the "drama" that goes along with all of this. He is actually being SUPER sweet, but the rest of it is just bugging me. I need a vacation.
Sometimes I get tired of the "drama" that goes along with all of this. He is actually being SUPER sweet, but the rest of it is just bugging me. I need a vacation.
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
FindingBalance,
Maybe....bear with me here......maybe you should hire a sitter for a day and just give yourself a vacation.
It will be good for you, for your husband, and for your family, to clear yourself.
I did this a few weeks ago when I was truly, truly self-destructing. I scheduled a counseling appointment in the morning (do you have a counselor to help you through this?) went for a long walk in the park with a latte, went to the free day at the Art Museum, sat in a coffee shop and nibbled a salad while writing in my journal, went to the best bookstore in town....
Consider that maybe the reason you're so irritated is that you aren't paying enough attention to your own needs? Is there a grain of truth to that?
Maybe....bear with me here......maybe you should hire a sitter for a day and just give yourself a vacation.
It will be good for you, for your husband, and for your family, to clear yourself.
I did this a few weeks ago when I was truly, truly self-destructing. I scheduled a counseling appointment in the morning (do you have a counselor to help you through this?) went for a long walk in the park with a latte, went to the free day at the Art Museum, sat in a coffee shop and nibbled a salad while writing in my journal, went to the best bookstore in town....
Consider that maybe the reason you're so irritated is that you aren't paying enough attention to your own needs? Is there a grain of truth to that?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 26
I am better today. Calmer. I went and made a bit of headway getting my school situation take care of. I also helped out my brother which meant leaving the kids with my mom for a bit. So, I wasn't kids, kids all day. Unfortunately, a babysitter is something we're just not ready for. RAH is very protective and nervous and really, so am I. I mean, I worry about them when they're with my mom and her husband, and for NO reason.
Anyway, I DO need to focus on my. Right now, I need to get the school situation taken care of and find a job. I think, if I can get that going, I will begin to feel better.
I just don't know how to be supportive for my husband right now. He honestly is great. Super sweet. Has changed his work schedule and has been totally letting me bail when he gets home so I can go for a walk or the gym. I think I just get tired of dealing with it all. I just want the "white elephant" in the room to take a long, long walk......
Thanks for listening. I feel so bad complaining when I read other people's horror stories. We had our horror time, and we got thru it. Now, now it's just the dealing with the occasional stretch of insanity that goes along with it, and marriage in general.
Anyway, I DO need to focus on my. Right now, I need to get the school situation taken care of and find a job. I think, if I can get that going, I will begin to feel better.
I just don't know how to be supportive for my husband right now. He honestly is great. Super sweet. Has changed his work schedule and has been totally letting me bail when he gets home so I can go for a walk or the gym. I think I just get tired of dealing with it all. I just want the "white elephant" in the room to take a long, long walk......
Thanks for listening. I feel so bad complaining when I read other people's horror stories. We had our horror time, and we got thru it. Now, now it's just the dealing with the occasional stretch of insanity that goes along with it, and marriage in general.
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