i need an advice
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: italy
Posts: 32
i need an advice
hello friends,
lately i've notieced that my a has got yelloish under his eyes and around his mouth. he is thin and during summer he has no appetite. i've noticed that on his legs there are few red spots. i don't know what to do. i know i can not force him to get a blood test but i am so worried about him. i've already told here that i hate him when he is drunk. but i was wrong.i care about him very much. lately i see him only drunk. we don't talk much and i learned that i should not search for his empty wisky bottle. anyway, i just wanted to share with you my worries. he is 50 and i guess he has been drinking heavily for past 12 years.i'm so worried and i don't know what to do. do you know why around his eyes are yellowish? it is more obvious in digital picture. i noticed it on his picture.then checked it while he was sleeping. i can not stare at him. he doesn't want to be zoomed by me.
please advise.
thanks
lately i've notieced that my a has got yelloish under his eyes and around his mouth. he is thin and during summer he has no appetite. i've noticed that on his legs there are few red spots. i don't know what to do. i know i can not force him to get a blood test but i am so worried about him. i've already told here that i hate him when he is drunk. but i was wrong.i care about him very much. lately i see him only drunk. we don't talk much and i learned that i should not search for his empty wisky bottle. anyway, i just wanted to share with you my worries. he is 50 and i guess he has been drinking heavily for past 12 years.i'm so worried and i don't know what to do. do you know why around his eyes are yellowish? it is more obvious in digital picture. i noticed it on his picture.then checked it while he was sleeping. i can not stare at him. he doesn't want to be zoomed by me.
please advise.
thanks
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
hi sara,
i guess you can tell him what you notice and suggest for him to visit a doctor.
that's it. he is not a child... he is an adult. many times in addiction, alcoholics won't even go to a doctor even if they feel bad, because that would be admitting the past and their problem.
i know this is hard to listen... but remember, it has been his life and his choices. you cannot abuse your body and stay healthy.. this is a lesson he has to learn for himself. .
i am very sorry you are going through this.. but you cannot control anything of what he does. he is in charge of his health... and you are in charge of yours.
((hugs))
i guess you can tell him what you notice and suggest for him to visit a doctor.
that's it. he is not a child... he is an adult. many times in addiction, alcoholics won't even go to a doctor even if they feel bad, because that would be admitting the past and their problem.
i know this is hard to listen... but remember, it has been his life and his choices. you cannot abuse your body and stay healthy.. this is a lesson he has to learn for himself. .
i am very sorry you are going through this.. but you cannot control anything of what he does. he is in charge of his health... and you are in charge of yours.
((hugs))
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
Well, there's more to worry about than yellowish eyes. Alcoholism is a chronic, progressive and fatal disease when left untreated. It is also a disease that affects and sickens family and friends as they are negatively impacted and sucked into the disease. You can not force him to see a doctor or seek treatment,whether through detox and in or out-patient or AA or a combination. You can let your feelings be known regarding how you are negatively impacted. You can share your concern and offer alternatives. You need to also decide what you need and what you must do if he choses not to seek help and his addiction progresses. You can not do for him but you can and must do for yourself. I wish you all the best.
A wise man once said: “from craving arises sorrow and from craving arises fear”. In our sorrow and fear comes our pain. When we try to medicate or numb our pain chemically, we become addicted. When we try to smother it in the comfort of our family and friends we smother the love of family and friends".
Please don't allow yourself to be smothered.
A wise man once said: “from craving arises sorrow and from craving arises fear”. In our sorrow and fear comes our pain. When we try to medicate or numb our pain chemically, we become addicted. When we try to smother it in the comfort of our family and friends we smother the love of family and friends".
Please don't allow yourself to be smothered.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Tampa, Florida
Posts: 108
I'm not sure if this falls under the category of medical advice, but yellowing of the eyes and skin indicates a failing liver. It's called jaundice. He should definatly be checked out by a doctor. didn't you say he is a doctor himself? If this is true, then he already knows. He is probably just too embarrassed to see another doctor and have to admit he has a drinking problem. I'm sure his coworkers will say something to him eventually.
I'm growing
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Right where I need to be
Posts: 601
I agree You can let him know your concerns. I would do it only when he is sober and say it only once.
Then it is his to deal with. You must accept if he chooses to see a dr. or not. It is not yours to control
((()))
Then it is his to deal with. You must accept if he chooses to see a dr. or not. It is not yours to control
((()))
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: state of confusion
Posts: 351
The yellowing around the eyes is something to be taken very, very seriously. My AH could not see the yellow around his eyes himself, but had to have someone else point it out to him.
Has your husband started taking any new medications? Many medications can be dangerous if taken in combination with alcohol. My husband's eyes started turning yellow after he started taking an antidepressant for pain ... when he stopped taking the medication, the yellow eventually faded over several months but returned later.
My AH's abdomen was also swelling during this time, that he at first thought was from normal weight gain ... then the yellow around his eyes returned within a year. The abdominal swelling turned out to be fluid retention and later confirmed as a result of liver disease. Total abstinence is mandatory.
When I realized how serious his situation was, I did not hesitate to let my AH know he must stop drinking in order to survive. To make things more challenging, late stage alcoholics can rarely think or process information rationally about their addiction ... so trying to reach them can be difficult. Unfortunately, it was too late for for my husband and he lost his battle within 2 months of his diagnoses. Hopefully your husband will take his situation seriously, and get immediate help.
Has your husband started taking any new medications? Many medications can be dangerous if taken in combination with alcohol. My husband's eyes started turning yellow after he started taking an antidepressant for pain ... when he stopped taking the medication, the yellow eventually faded over several months but returned later.
My AH's abdomen was also swelling during this time, that he at first thought was from normal weight gain ... then the yellow around his eyes returned within a year. The abdominal swelling turned out to be fluid retention and later confirmed as a result of liver disease. Total abstinence is mandatory.
When I realized how serious his situation was, I did not hesitate to let my AH know he must stop drinking in order to survive. To make things more challenging, late stage alcoholics can rarely think or process information rationally about their addiction ... so trying to reach them can be difficult. Unfortunately, it was too late for for my husband and he lost his battle within 2 months of his diagnoses. Hopefully your husband will take his situation seriously, and get immediate help.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: italy
Posts: 32
dear friends i thank you all for replying to my message. yes luciddreamrgrl he is a doctor and i guess he knows exactly what it happening to him. this morning as soon as he woke up, i told him so calmly and nicely that around his eyes and mouth have become yellowish. he went to the bathroom and check it himself and he said it is because these days he has stress of work and hot weather and ....
i don't know maybe i am inventing but to me around his eyes and mouth are yellowish and green like. anyway, i was expecting that maybe he didn't wanted to show he is worries after what i told him to me. BUT two hours later he had his wisky hiddenly and was sleeping on the sofa! what shall i do!
thanks everyone once agian. you all make me feel that i am not alone. thanks.
i don't know maybe i am inventing but to me around his eyes and mouth are yellowish and green like. anyway, i was expecting that maybe he didn't wanted to show he is worries after what i told him to me. BUT two hours later he had his wisky hiddenly and was sleeping on the sofa! what shall i do!
thanks everyone once agian. you all make me feel that i am not alone. thanks.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: italy
Posts: 32
dear seeking wisdom,
i am sorry for your husband. well my ah is very very very thin and slim. he has some fat around his belly i don't know if it is swelling or fat. but it is not that much. he has high blood pressure and gets medication for that. he has diarrea most of the time. you know the point is that he is a doctor and he knows very well what is happening in his body but he denies it. in the morning his hands are shaking.he often has hiccop.but i guess he doesn't have pain. or he doesn't tell me. i feel so week!
i am sorry for your husband. well my ah is very very very thin and slim. he has some fat around his belly i don't know if it is swelling or fat. but it is not that much. he has high blood pressure and gets medication for that. he has diarrea most of the time. you know the point is that he is a doctor and he knows very well what is happening in his body but he denies it. in the morning his hands are shaking.he often has hiccop.but i guess he doesn't have pain. or he doesn't tell me. i feel so week!
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